# A mushroom is not a fucking garden vegetable! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 4, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102 "2008-11-04T18:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 4
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 6:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/61 "2008-11-05T18:07:13Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > As long as we’re tumbling down the slippery slope of pedantry… You misconstructed the first person singular. > [@](#): > > Actually, they are not garden fruits. Do you really think that some plump Italian grandma went out to her garden to pick fresh produce for you? For $2.89? You’re damn right. Grandma-issima probably gets two or three cents of that, so she can suck it up and go pick me some peppers. > [@](#): > > The tomatoes and bell peppers in your sauce are farm conglomerate fruits. Yeah, picked by itenerate indentured Mexicans. I know all that. But a mushroom is still not a fucking garden vegetable. ---
**Author:** ![Kimstu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/ecd19e/32.png) [@Kimstu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimstu)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/62 "2008-11-05T18:27:00Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > But I was submarined by a non-garden non-vegetable not shown prominently among the decent edibles. I was not forewarned about the slimy chunks of toe-jam. **Lib** , darling, there are these things called “ingredient lists” on the labels of packaged foods. Did you not bring your reading glasses to the store, or what? 😉 Good old Nanny Gummint went to the trouble of making manufacturers write down on the back of the jar what they put in the food, precisely so you **wouldn’t** have to rely on the marketing department’s flashy culinary-porn label pictures in order to know what the ingredients are. Might as well take advantage of it! ---
**Author:** ![Acsenray](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/acsenray/32/4519_2.png) [@Acsenray](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Acsenray)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/63 "2008-11-05T18:30:17Z")
Look, you’ve already compromised on the definition of “vegetable.” I see no problem with “garden.” Mushrooms are not unheard of in gardens. ---
**Author:** ![GargoyleWB](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gargoylewb/32/199_2.png) [@GargoyleWB](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GargoyleWB)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/64 "2008-11-05T19:28:44Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > Can you post your recipe? Mine takes hours, and really doesn’t peak until the next day. 2 cans of italian-recipe stewed tomatoes a few cloves of chopped garlic a handful of chopped onion a handful of chopped green olives a dash of cayenne (optional). Simmer for 15 minutes. Pour over noodles with a healthy drizzle of olive oil. It’s my standby “forgot to go shopping” dish that is far better than any pre-fab sauce. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/65 "2008-11-05T19:34:48Z")
> [@Kimstu](#): > > Good old Nanny Gummint went to the trouble of making manufacturers write down on the back of the jar what they put in the food, precisely so you **wouldn’t** have to rely on the marketing department’s flashy culinary-porn label pictures in order to know what the ingredients are. Might as well take advantage of it! What, and propogate the tyranny? I say no, sir! Sir, I say no! ---
**Author:** ![CherryBomb](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/919ad9/32.png) [@CherryBomb](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CherryBomb)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 9:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/66 "2008-11-05T21:52:46Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > If mushrooms were any good at all they would have invented an artificial mushroom flavor by now, which they haven’t because there aren’t any mushroom flavored Jones Sodas or Jelly Bellies and those fuckers will make anything. I think I want to have eleventy billion of your babies… A good basic recipe I use is: 1 large can of fire roasted, crushed tomato half a white onion sauteed with crushed garlic and butter approx a pound of meat (ground buffalo, ostrich, turkey or beef, all depending on mood and what’s in the freezer) a splash of a good cabernet or merlot (which one drinks the rest of while cooking and eating) dashes of whatever spices tickle my fancy that night dribble liberally over pasta of choice with a side of lightly steamed veggie all ready in about 30 minutes including prep and yumminess ensues! ---
**Author:** ![Cisco](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/ccd318/32.png) [@Cisco](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cisco)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/67 "2008-11-05T22:49:13Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > In summary: _Caveat saucier._ I guess this is another example of the difference between me and the rest of the world. I cannot comprehend buying any food without reading the ingredients and nutritional information, while it has recently come to my attention that most people don’t do this at all. ---
**Author:** ![friedo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/8edcca/32.png) [@friedo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/friedo)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2008, 11:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/68 "2008-11-05T23:04:13Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > You want to sound like those vegan looneys who says that people weren’t “meant” to eat dairy and meat? I hereby found the People for the Ethical Treatment of Nasty-Ass Fungus. PETNAF’s official position on nasty-ass fungus is that it’s OK to stomp on them, and pour anti-fungal agents on them, and burn them with fire (unless you’re attempting to cook them.) ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 2:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/69 "2008-11-06T02:25:07Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > Look, you’ve already compromised on the definition of “vegetable.” I see no problem with “garden.” Mushrooms are not unheard of in gardens. My fiance’s dad has morels that pop up in his back yard in spring, for example. Personally, I say he’s welcome to them. They smell like spooge when you fry them up, and don’t taste any different than they smell. But I’m ok with the little boring button mushrooms, and I loooove shiitakes. Those things are great. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/70 "2008-11-06T04:26:21Z")
Battered, pan-fried morels are absolute heaven. That is all. ---
**Author:** ![laughingboy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/9f8e36/32.png) [@laughingboy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/laughingboy)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/71 "2008-11-06T05:21:27Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > Chunky Garden Vegetable [spaghetti sauce] my ass. Thank God I didn’t buy your Four Fucking Cheese. I shudder to think. I have no joke here; I just like saying “virgin olive oil.” Drive home safely, everyone! ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/72 "2008-11-06T05:29:37Z")
> [@](#): > > I need the name of that spaghetti sauce brand, please. > [@](#): > > Preg-ooooooh, wow! Don’t get me started on Prego spaghetti sauce. Talk about deceptive advertising. Do you realize there’s not even a trace of fetus in it? ---
**Author:** ![Measure\_for\_Measure](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/measure_for_measure/32/557_2.png) [@Measure\_for\_Measure](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Measure_for_Measure)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/73 "2008-11-06T05:40:51Z")
Are mushrooms good for you? ---
**Author:** ![Inner\_Stickler](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/inner_stickler/32/318_2.png) [@Inner\_Stickler](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Inner_Stickler)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/74 "2008-11-06T05:58:50Z")
> [@devilsknew](#): > > The only reason most Americans don’t like mushrooms is because their base of reference are the farmed, white, button mushrooms. I’ll eat an entire carton of those raw. They’re delicious. _Sits in the food philistine section._ ---
**Author:** ![chowder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/977dab/32.png) [@chowder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chowder)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/75 "2008-11-06T08:32:23Z")
> [@Cluricaun](#): > > ``` > I can't think of one thing that could possibly be improved by mushrooms. > > ``` Mushroom soup? ---
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/76 "2008-11-06T12:10:39Z")
And by the way, since we are getting picky and technical on the definitions, please remember that the plural of mushroom is not mushrooms, but mushra. Or is it mushrii? ---
**Author:** ![Wile\_E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/c37758/32.png) [@Wile\_E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Wile_E)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/77 "2008-11-06T15:56:23Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Don’t get me started on Prego spaghetti sauce. Talk about deceptive advertising. Do you realize there’s not even a trace of fetus in it? I am so glad I wasn’t drinking my coffee when I read this or it would have spewed out my nose and all over the monitor. ---
**Author:** ![Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ecccb3/32.png) [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skald_the_Rhymer)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 4:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/78 "2008-11-06T16:04:43Z")
> [@Sapo](#): > > And by the way, since we are getting picky and technical on the definitions, please remember that the plural of mushroom is not mushrooms, but mushra. Or is it mushrii? I assume you’re kidding. As I am even as we speak procrastinating on working on my novel, I am surrounded by dictionaries, and neither the Shorter Oxford nor Merriam-Webster’s notes any non-standard plural. Interestingly, though, there is an archaic variant, [mushrump](http://www.fromoldbooks.org/Brewer-DictionaryOfPhraseAndFable/m/mushroom.html). ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 4:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/79 "2008-11-06T16:06:12Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I don’t think we have to condemn the entire fungal diaspora. I see what you did there. 😃 > [@Sapo](#): > > And by the way, since we are getting picky and technical on the definitions, please remember that the plural of mushroom is not mushrooms, but mushra. Or is it mushrii? Mushy. (I am a fan of mushrooms, for what it’s worth, and converted my mushroom-averse husband to loving them. However, his father apparently preferred the canned things cooked into rubbery, metallic-tasting oblivion, and so he grew up assuming that all things mushroom must be that same vileness.) ---
**Author:** ![Henrichek](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/5daacb/32.png) [@Henrichek](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Henrichek)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/80 "2008-11-06T16:41:52Z")
I couldn’t agree more with the OP. Fungi are absolutely disgusting. Actually, it’s probably not so much about the taste (which I’ve only felt by accident when the abominations have been well hidden in a dish), rather the inherent total repugnance of the filthy fungi. The repulsive nature probably stems somewhere from the fact that they are associated with food going bad, which is probably part of why most people also find insects disgusting. However, I can’t explain the irrationality of not objecting to bread, but there’s just something about mushrooms that trigger the same disgust as eating insects or animal droppings for me. I get the same feeling when seeing mushrooms in the forest while taking a walk in the autumn. They are slimy, nasty and downright evil creatures (yes, they are more like animals than plants). Please stop ruining perfectly good food with these foul fungi. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102.md?page=3) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102.md?page=5)