# A mushroom is not a fucking garden vegetable! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 4, 2008, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102 "2008-11-04T18:54:18Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Sapo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ec9cab/32.png) [@Sapo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sapo)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/81 "2008-11-06T17:27:47Z")
> [@Skald\_the\_Rhymer](#): > > I assume you’re kidding. As I am even as we speak procrastinating on working on my novel, I am surrounded by dictionaries, and neither the Shorter Oxford nor Merriam-Webster’s notes any non-standard plural. Interestingly, though, there is an archaic variant, [mushrump](http://www.fromoldbooks.org/Brewer-DictionaryOfPhraseAndFable/m/mushroom.html). Live and learn! And I was kidding of course. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/82 "2008-11-06T17:35:26Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > Don’t get me started on Prego spaghetti sauce. Talk about deceptive advertising. Do you realize there’s not even a trace of fetus in it? You might be a little disappointed with Gerber Baby Food, then. And you should probably stay far away from Purina Cat Chow. ---
**Author:** ![gigi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/a587f6/32.png) [@gigi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gigi)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/83 "2008-11-06T17:41:59Z")
> [@acsenray](#): > > If you’re going to be idiotic about vocabulary, then you should also be complaining about tomatoes and bell peppers being included, when they’re “really” fruits. They need to change the name to Chunky “Garden” “Vegetable” . Unless it’s not even Chunky? ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/84 "2008-11-06T17:46:16Z")
> [@Measure\_for\_Measure](#): > > Are mushrooms good for you? Yes and no, according to some people: [http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA400053](http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA400053) ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2008, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/85 "2008-11-06T17:56:11Z")
I have mushrooms growing in _my_ garden. Just sayin’. ---
**Author:** ![Nanoda](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/ce73a5/32.png) [@Nanoda](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nanoda)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/86 "2008-11-07T05:13:27Z")
May I say that a mushroom _can_ taste delicious? Admittedly it was only the once, and they were wild mushrooms over roast beef prepared at a fine dining restaurant at an [equally upscale](http://www.wickinn.com/) west coast Vancouver Island hotel, but still possible. ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/87 "2008-11-07T17:11:46Z")
Just a request- many of your fellow members have asked for no profanity in thread titles. Just a request. Thanks ---
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 5:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/88 "2008-11-07T17:51:29Z")
> [@Cisco](#): > > I guess this is another example of the difference between me and the rest of the world. I cannot comprehend buying any food without reading the ingredients and nutritional information, while it has recently come to my attention that most people don’t do this at all. And this is exactly why you’ve never found yourself in a situation where you felt the need to vent your bitter shame across the Internet, having allowed yourself to be duped by pretty pictures instead of exercising basic reading skills. This speaks well of you, and the [USDA Mushroom Council](http://www.mushroomcouncil.com/)surely appreciates the wisdom and prudence of your consumer habits. As the saying goes: “It is better to read a single label than to curse the mushrooms.” Or something like that. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/89 "2008-11-07T19:05:48Z")
> [@Terrifel](#): > > As the saying goes: “It is better to read a single label than to curse the mushrooms.” Or something like that. I thought it was “It’s better to drink a light beer than curse dark chocolate.” ---
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/90 "2008-11-07T19:39:26Z")
> [@Winston\_Smith](#): > > I have mushrooms growing in _my_ garden. > > Just sayin’. That happened to me once. Got a shot from the doctor … cleared it right up. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/91 "2008-11-07T19:50:08Z")
> [@DrDeth](#): > > Just a request- many of your fellow members have asked for no profanity in thread titles. Just a request. Thanks Consider it done heretofore! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/92 "2008-11-07T21:06:17Z")
[Apparently, the stink horn varieties of mushroom looks just like a penis](http://www.wildmanstevebrill.com/Mushrooms.Folder/Ravenel's%20Stinkhorn.html). (Not edible.) I thinkPenii and mushrooms must share a genetic fractal… An archetypical geometry of purpose. I’ll bet statistically that more women like mushrooms than men, for freudian-jungian reasons. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/93 "2008-11-07T21:18:35Z")
Anybody ever eaten a penis? I’ve heard it described by Zimmerman and Bourdain, and it seems like a chewy version of a mushroom in texture. Is the humble mushroom the Dick of the Earth? ---
**Author:** ![Winston\_Smith](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e95f7d/32.png) [@Winston\_Smith](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Winston_Smith)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/94 "2008-11-07T21:24:36Z")
> [@Jack\_Batty](#): > > That happened to me once. > > Got a shot from the doctor … cleared it right up. I got pills… ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/95 "2008-11-07T21:35:55Z")
I’m gonna go ahead and make a Darwinian Evolutionary prediction. Eventually there will be a fungal “flower” of some sort that will be the grail to the mushrooms. It might not even be fungal…it might be a plant with an appropriate dynamicism or parasiticism to the mushroom. I’ll bet that it will even have a “cervix” that the head of the mushroom will activate for full sporification. Yes, I predict there will be a mushroom pussy plant. ---
**Author:** ![devilsknew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/4da419/32.png) [@devilsknew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/devilsknew)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/96 "2008-11-07T22:55:04Z")
Those [mushroom people and mushroom antromorphiztions](http://images.google.com/images?hl=en&q=mushroom%20people&um=1&ie=UTF-8&sa=N&tab=wi) generally creep me out. Bow down to your cute and wise, if not outright evil, fungal overlord. Personally, I welcome my spongiform superiors. Despite the chill in my spine. They are delicious. ---
**Author:** ![The\_Second\_Stone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bbe5ce/32.png) [@The\_Second\_Stone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Second_Stone)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2008, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/97 "2008-11-07T23:39:14Z")
> [@GorillaMan](#): > > Count me in the club. HORRIBLE things. I can’t handle them without getting that shuddery I-hate-this impulse reserved by some for spiders. Mushrooms are the most disgusting things in the entire universe. Ewww. They look like cat turds and are grown in feces. I read every label in the supermarket to eliminate hated mushrooms from my diet. Mold and yeast, OTOH, are really cool. ---
**Author:** ![adhemar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3da27b/32.png) [@adhemar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/adhemar)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/98 "2008-11-08T19:38:44Z")
> [@cher3](#): > > Yes and no, according to some people: > > [http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA400053](http://www.drweil.com/drw/u/id/QAA400053) I knew celery had to be bad for you! It is nasty in every form I have ever had it. Much like the OP thinks of mushrooms. ---
**Author:** ![Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e9bcb4/32.png) [@Hazle\_Weatherfield](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hazle_Weatherfield)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/99 "2008-11-08T21:27:08Z")
> [@adhemar](#): > > I knew celery had to be bad for you! It is nasty in every form I have ever had it. Much like the OP thinks of mushrooms. Au Contraire. How else would I stir my Bloody Mary and poke around for errant olives? ---
**Author:** ![Kyla](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/eada6e/32.png) [@Kyla](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kyla)\ **Post date:** [November 8, 2008, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102/100 "2008-11-08T21:53:37Z")
> [@Captain\_Carrot](#): > > Raw mushrooms are okay. Cooked mushrooms are like overcooked slimy tentacle. Actually, I enjoy sushi, so I’d probably eat overcooked slimy tentacle with more gusto than mushrooms. Blech! I like raw mushrooms too, but I recently heard a mycologist (I think that’s what mushroom-scientists are called?) on Science Friday on NPR say that we shouldn’t eat them. Apparently mushrooms have some chemical in them that isn’t good for you, but the cooking process renders it harmless. Foo. I had a mushroom epiphany on my birthday this year. My family went to Chez Panisse (the cafe, not the actual restaurant) in Berkeley to celebrate and I had some kind of cheese and morel dish that was unbelievable. I have never tasted such rich and flavorful mushrooms in my life. It made me want to go mushroom hunting like Michael Pollan does in _The Omnivore’s Dilemma_ because I don’t think you can get mushrooms like this in an ordinary grocery store. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mushroom-is-not-a-fucking-garden-vegetable/471102.md?page=6)