# A mysterious light **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 10, 2011, 5:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203 "2011-10-10T17:46:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![SeldomSeen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/7ba0ec/32.png) [@SeldomSeen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeldomSeen)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 10:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/21 "2011-10-10T22:28:37Z")
Is this located in [Castle Rock Maine](http://stephenking.wikia.com/wiki/Castle_Rock,_Maine)by any chance? ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/22 "2011-10-10T22:50:50Z")
> [@Dallas\_Jones](#): > > The bank who owns the property has sent someone to prepare the old dump for sale. You know what your problem is, Pal? Your problem is that you keep confusing people with the facts, that’s you problem! 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/23 "2011-10-10T23:05:22Z")
I am now convinced the house is haunted. By what, I don’t know. > [@Balance](#): > > Clearly, what you’ve got yourself there is a gardinel. As that eminent folklorist, [Silver John](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Silver_John) put it: > Yours must be a subspecies that has developed a bioluminescent organ that mimics a porch light. It hasn’t been getting enough prey lately, so it’s putting out another lure. > 😉 This, perhaps. See, coming home from classes just now, I passed the house, as I must do every day. The porch light was on. First time in six weeks, and the day I post about it in the Dope, the porch light is on during the day. It must be trying to tell me something. > [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Obtain the following items/people– > [ul] > [li]An Ascot[/li][li]A nerdy girl[/li][li]A sexy redhead[/li][li]A Stoner[/li][li]A Great Dane[/li][/ul] > > Investigate. > > You will discover it is Old Man Perkins, & he is trying to fool people into think the place is haunted, to hide the fact that he is looking for buried treasure. What? I don’t get it. Of course, if there are any sexy redheads/nerdy girls that want to come investigate with me, just send me a pm :p. I don’t know what ascots, dogs and stoners have to do with anything. Speaking of stoners, that’s a real possibility: somewhere to grow weed or cook meth. When I say the roof is bad, it isn’t actually caving in. It’s a metal roof, and the sheets have separated. So its very possible to be in the house without being actively rained on: I’m sure the celing simply drips everywhere. With a tarp a mattress and some blankets, a hobo would feel right at home. ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/24 "2011-10-10T23:07:11Z")
> [@carnivorousplant](#): > > You know what your problem is, Pal? > Your problem is that you keep confusing people with the facts, that’s you problem! > > 🙂 I too preferred the idea of a living monster luring people in for supper. Or even the “THAT LIGHT’S BEEN BUSTED FOR 20 YEARS!” Boo to reality! Yay for fun narratives! ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/25 "2011-10-10T23:09:39Z")
> [@Bosda\_Di\_Chi\_of\_Tricor](#): > > Obtain the following items/people– > [ul] > [li]An Ascot[/li][li]A nerdy girl[/li][li]A sexy redhead[/li][li]A Stoner[/li][li]A Great Dane[/li][/ul] > > Investigate. > > You will discover it is Old Man Perkins, & he is trying to fool people into think the place is haunted, to hide the fact that he is looking for buried treasure. **GODDAMN IT!** :smack: :mad: The ghosts have prevented my brain from recognizing references to pop culture! What am I going to do? ☹ ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/26 "2011-10-10T23:21:16Z")
And another thing: I had the bright idea to stop at the nearest neighbors’ house to ask about the haunted place. I knocked on the door, and while I was waiting, cooking up a lie about being interested in purchasing that house, a woman hollered from inside the house that she was naked, just out of the shower, and would I please leave because if I didn’t she would let the dogs out and they would eat me? The ghosts must have possessed her in an attempt to keep strangers away and their little secret a secret. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/27 "2011-10-10T23:29:34Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > [SIZE=“5”] > What am I going to do? > > ☹ Be quite glad that you do not recognize references to Scoopy Doop or whatever that moronic cartoon is. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/28 "2011-10-10T23:36:05Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > And another thing: I had the bright idea to stop at the nearest neighbors’ house to ask about the haunted place. I knocked on the door, and while I was waiting, cooking up a lie about being interested in purchasing that house, a woman hollered from inside the house that she was naked, just out of the shower, and would I please leave because if I didn’t she would let the dogs out and they would eat me? > > The ghosts must have possessed her in an attempt to keep strangers away and their little secret a secret. I think the ghosts–or man-eating plants–may be the less scary of your neighbors. That’s a bizarre response to a knock on the door. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2011, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/29 "2011-10-10T23:39:27Z")
And be glad that you edit your posts far better than I. ---
**Author:** ![phall0106](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/phall0106/32/5934_2.png) [@phall0106](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/phall0106)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:28am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/30 "2011-10-11T00:28:33Z")
An abandoned house in the middle of the country that suddenly has a light on? Crack house would be my guess. Notify your local law enforcement office and ask them to stop by and check it out. I know everyone wants a spooky response, but I’m just too damn practical. ---
**Author:** ![Crazyhorse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crazyhorse/32/31_2.png) [@Crazyhorse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crazyhorse)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/31 "2011-10-11T00:33:42Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > This pic was taken _with,_ and sent _from_ an Android smartphone, so my apologies that its only a couple hundred pixels. But it gives you some idea of what I’m talking about. There’s the whole problem. The tiny image makes it impossible to see fine details that could provide some more clues. Imaginations are free to run wild, anything could be possible. I took the liberty of zooming and enhancing the [image](http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/8092/imag0388x.jpg). After all this paranoid speculation maybe it can finally be settled. The whole big secret behind this mysterious porch light turns out to be nothing more than a demonic spirit who dwells in the upstairs of the house. Thirsty for human blood but unable to leave the house in which he has been imprisoned, he probably just turns on the porch light hoping it will bring someone to investigate. ---
**Author:** ![Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b38774/32.png) [@Attack\_from\_the\_3rd\_dimension](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Attack_from_the_3rd_dimension)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/32 "2011-10-11T00:39:41Z")
> [@phall0106](#): > > An abandoned house in the middle of the country that suddenly has a light on? Crack house would be my guess. Notify your local law enforcement office and ask them to stop by and check it out. > > I know everyone wants a spooky response, but I’m just too damn practical. This was also my thought. ---
**Author:** ![Lancia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/lancia/32/17174_2.png) [@Lancia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lancia)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/33 "2011-10-11T01:13:28Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > There’s the whole problem. The tiny image makes it impossible to see fine details that could provide some more clues. Imaginations are free to run wild, anything could be possible. > > I took the liberty of zooming and enhancing the [image](http://img31.imageshack.us/img31/8092/imag0388x.jpg). After all this paranoid speculation maybe it can finally be settled. The whole big secret behind this mysterious porch light turns out to be nothing more than a demonic spirit who dwells in the upstairs of the house. Thirsty for human blood but unable to leave the house in which he has been imprisoned, he probably just turns on the porch light hoping it will bring someone to investigate. Great. So what does it take to get rid of it? Bible thumpin’? Garlic? Virgins? ---
**Author:** ![DMark](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e68b1a/32.png) [@DMark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DMark)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/34 "2011-10-11T01:56:21Z")
Ya know, back in my day we used to describe people like **Lancia** with the phrase, “The porch light’s on, but nobody’s home.” Looks like he is taking this literally. How many Dopers does it take to screw in a haunted house lightbulb? ---
**Author:** ![Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/regallag_the_axe/32/445_2.png) [@Regallag\_The\_Axe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Regallag_The_Axe)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/35 "2011-10-11T03:18:43Z")
> [@Lancia](#): > > Great. So what does it take to get rid of it? Bible thumpin’? Garlic? Virgins? Porn. Porn everywhere. Magazines all over the lawn, posters tacked to the walls, huge pornographic billboards. Trust me, it’ll work. ---
**Author:** ![blondebear](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/blondebear/32/1022_2.png) [@blondebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/blondebear)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/36 "2011-10-11T03:25:37Z")
> [@Crazyhorse](#): > > …he probably just turns on the porch light hoping it will bring someone to investigate. Time to call in a land shark…stand back and watch 'em go at it! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/37 "2011-10-11T03:33:45Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > How many Dopers does it take to screw in a haunted house lightbulb? Only one, really…but he could use some more to keep his spirits up. ---
**Author:** ![carnivorousplant](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/carnivorousplant/32/3563_2.png) [@carnivorousplant](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/carnivorousplant)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 11:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/38 "2011-10-11T11:35:51Z")
> [@DMark](#): > > How many Dopers does it take to screw in a haunted house lightbulb? One to change the bulb and five to argue about it in the pit. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![NGC2024](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/f475e1/32.png) [@NGC2024](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NGC2024)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/39 "2011-10-11T22:39:01Z")
I’m really not going to be satisfied if this mystery isn’t solved. I’m troubled by the lack of inquiries on this page today. Was the light on this morning? Can you go back and ask the lady if she’s put on some clothing so you can talk to her? I really must know how this ends. ---
**Author:** ![IvoryTowerDenizen](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ivorytowerdenizen/32/17937_2.png) [@IvoryTowerDenizen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/IvoryTowerDenizen)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2011, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203/40 "2011-10-11T22:46:30Z")
> [@NGC2024](#): > > I’m really not going to be satisfied if this mystery isn’t solved. I’m troubled by the lack of inquiries on this page today. Was the light on this morning? Can you go back and ask the lady if she’s put on some clothing so you can talk to her? I really must know how this ends. Ditto- I subscribed to this thread two days ago just so I can get resolution. I need to know! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-mysterious-light/599203.md?page=3)