# A nerd walks into a bar. **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [May 7, 2012, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137 "2012-05-07T06:57:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2012, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/21 "2012-05-07T23:14:18Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > Picking up members of the opposite (or, indeed, same) sex in bars is an entirely different matter, but it has been made fairly clear that that is _not_ what the OP is about. Well, that would certainly count as turning strangers into acquaintances/contacts/friends/activity partners. It’s not really something I’m specifically going after, however. ---
**Author:** ![Beastly\_Rotter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/45deac/32.png) [@Beastly\_Rotter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beastly_Rotter)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 12:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/22 "2012-05-08T00:40:38Z")
> [@blindboyard](#): > > But take less notes, so as not to alert the natives, and drink more alcohol so they believe you to be there to drink, not just to chat up strange men. Is this the Earth custom you call “the donnybrook”? ---
**Author:** ![DiosaBellissima](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/a8b319/32.png) [@DiosaBellissima](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DiosaBellissima)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/23 "2012-05-08T16:41:15Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > I’m not sure this changes anything, but I was using pen and paper. It wouldn’t ping my “weird” radar quite as much as, say, a laptop, but it’d still be a pretty strange sight in a bar. ---
**Author:** ![VinylTurnip](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/v/b2d939/32.png) [@VinylTurnip](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/VinylTurnip)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/24 "2012-05-08T17:24:14Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > I am still puzzled. I do not think most people find their friends by talking to random strangers in bars. I doubt whether it is a very effective way of doing it. But if that is the point, I think you are doing pretty well. Most times I have been into pubs or bars on my own, I never talked to anyone except the bartender to order my drink. You seem to be adequately socially competent. > > By the way, I originally opened this thread thinking the punchline would be “Ow!” _or:_ Bartender says, “we don’t serve their kind here!” ---
**Author:** ![pulykamell](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pulykamell/32/3166_2.png) [@pulykamell](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pulykamell)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/25 "2012-05-08T17:31:07Z")
It really does depend on the bar. At some it’s out of place; at others, I wouldn’t even notice. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/26 "2012-05-08T17:47:27Z")
> [@DiosaBellissima](#): > > It wouldn’t ping my “weird” radar quite as much as, say, a laptop, but it’d still be a pretty strange sight in a bar. I think it’d be a pretty funny schtick, to make a bunch of notes. When someone talks to you, you whip a tape measure out of your pocket and measure the distance between them and you, and scribble down some more notes. Then you look at them intently, carefully scanning them from head to toe, and scribble some more notes while muttering under your breath. You’re guaranteed a good conversation or a beat down. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 5:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/27 "2012-05-08T17:56:57Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > By the way, I originally opened this thread thinking the punchline would be “Ow!” I would’ve thought, “Pain, pain in the glayven!” ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 6:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/28 "2012-05-08T18:05:59Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > I think it’d be a pretty funny schtick, to make a bunch of notes. When someone talks to you, you whip a tape measure out of your pocket and measure the distance between them and you, and scribble down some more notes. Then you look at them intently, carefully scanning them from head to toe, and scribble some more notes while muttering under your breath. > > You’re guaranteed a good conversation or a beat down. Perhaps something to try. I was aware that wearing black wingtips, a black suit and a white shirt while wearing eyeglasses and having a shaved head might drive people away. Perhaps I could up it to a three piece suit with a conservative tie. ---
**Author:** ![Boyo\_Jim](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/87869e/32.png) [@Boyo\_Jim](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Boyo_Jim)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 6:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/29 "2012-05-08T18:36:09Z")
Also a hat that comes to a point. ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/30 "2012-05-08T18:49:52Z")
> [@Boyo\_Jim](#): > > Also a hat that comes to a point. I am merely a lvl12 nerd and so do not know what this references. Can someone cast an illumination spell on me? ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 6:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/31 "2012-05-08T18:53:34Z")
I can only guess at what Jim means, but otherwise… You should try to greet everyone you meet with “[I put on my robe and wizard hat](http://ashefire.net/bloodninja.shtml).” (NSFW text). They will instantly think you’re cool. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/32 "2012-05-08T19:57:32Z")
What you need is a bar on trivia night. I’ll assume it’s becoming commonplace all over, as I can think of at least a half-dozen places within 10 miles of me that have them on various nights. Go there, but not to play. Show up 15 minutes after the game starts and take a seat near (no more than one seat away from) whomever you’d like to speak with. Eventually they’ll be stumped for an answer and they’ll start glancing around. Quietly give them the answer. After you do this two or three times, they’re going to invite you to move over to the adjoining seat and fully participate\*. I have my core group of friends I’ve known all my life, but there is a second group of people I’ve become very good friends with, all of whom I’ve met directly or indirectly through playing bar trivia. \*Of course, all of this hinges on you knowing your stuff when it comes to trivia. ---
**Author:** ![thelurkinghorror](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/7c8e57/32.png) [@thelurkinghorror](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/thelurkinghorror)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/33 "2012-05-08T20:06:14Z")
I think that’s very good advice. Being a nerd, he probably knows trivia. If the categories one day are along the lines of “1970s running backs” you can back out and try next week. If you’re really good, you can also play by yourself and hope you kick ass enough to get an invite. Plus there’s a chance of free drinks. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/34 "2012-05-08T20:15:37Z")
If they’re playing bar trivia, it’s a nerdbar already. ---
**Author:** ![Kimballkid](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b5a626/32.png) [@Kimballkid](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kimballkid)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2012, 8:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/35 "2012-05-08T20:16:57Z")
> [@njtt](#): > > By the way, I originally opened this thread thinking the punchline would be “Ow!” I thought it would be: “I should have ducked.” > [@TriPolar](#): > > I have a bunch of friends as a result of talking to random strangers in a bar. But it was as indirect process, it happened over years from being a regular and see the same people over and over again. But you have to start somewhere. It’s especially good if you’ve just moved to a new town. ---
**Author:** ![Hal\_Briston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a9a28c/32.png) [@Hal\_Briston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hal_Briston)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/36 "2012-05-09T13:09:46Z")
> [@TriPolar](#): > > If they’re playing bar trivia, it’s a nerdbar already. I don’t know about any place else, but around here, every bar is getting in on the bar trivia craze. There’s one hardcore trivia bar, which has an awesome nerd scene, but all the other places are your standard dive bars (and one TGI Friday’s) trying to pull in new faces. Hey, fine by me – I get to go out twice a week and get free food and beers (and woohoo, last night I won a bike!). ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 1:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/37 "2012-05-09T13:13:51Z")
Ties are unusual to wear to work? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![MichaelEmouse](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/michaelemouse/32/101_2.png) [@MichaelEmouse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MichaelEmouse)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2012, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/38 "2012-05-09T18:20:17Z")
> [@Freudian\_Slit](#): > > Ties are unusual to wear to work? 😕 It’s unusual for straight men to go out of their way to get the ties they wear for work. ---
**Author:** ![Becky2844](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/91b2a8/32.png) [@Becky2844](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Becky2844)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/39 "2012-05-10T03:30:27Z")
Sounds like you did good, **MichaelEmouse.**** Hal’s** suggestion about the trivia game is a good one. Here’s my two cents: lose the suit and wingtips. If your objective is to meet people then don’t alienate them by upping it to a three-piece. Dress more casual and maybe you’ll feel more casual. It’ll probably make you blend better, too. Always befriend the bartender. It’s “his house.” (Or her’s.) If you plan on becoming a regular , if he “don’t” like you chances are nobody else will, either. I wouldn’t take notes. That would be off-putting to me. Do have something you can do with your hands, tho, even if it’s just peeling off the label of your long neck. _Lots_ of people do that. And drink booze, not cokes or water. If you don’t think you can handle two or three in an evening, order something light. Or nurse one for an hour. People do that, too. You did well! People actually talked to you. It wouldn’t have seemed forward if you’d walked around to “conversate” with the tourist, as you all had something in common that would have been enjoyable to share. ---
**Author:** ![Freudian\_Slit](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/5daacb/32.png) [@Freudian\_Slit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Freudian_Slit)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2012, 12:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137/40 "2012-05-10T12:33:00Z")
> [@MichaelEmouse](#): > > It’s unusual for straight men to go out of their way to get the ties they wear for work. So how do most straight men acquire ties for work? [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-nerd-walks-into-a-bar/621137.md?page=3)