# A New Evil Is Upon Us: Hello Kitty Haiku Contest **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134 "2004-10-02T01:45:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/1 "2004-10-02T01:45:41Z")
Yes, I was lured into the pretty, pink world of the cat with no mouth Store yesterday. Hypnotized by the crack that is filtered in through the system, I made my purchase and noticed this little gem: **Hello Kitty’s Haiku Contest Official Entry Form** Create a haiku of everyone’s favorite pussy about what she is doing in picture A ( standing on a beach at sunset/sunrise with a surf board at the ready though it could be a missile, its in the shadows. and Picture B, Sliding down a slide. What else do you have to do on a Friday night but drink, cruise the boards and make up Hello Kitty Haiku’s. Here is my first effort: **Hello Kitty Dear Rainbow Sweet Wholesomey Good Spawn of the devil.** ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 1:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/2 "2004-10-02T01:46:54Z")
There are Hello Kitty Waffle Irons that imprint everyone’s favorite pussy onto the pancake batter for the low,low price of $54. ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/3 "2004-10-02T01:55:39Z")
A: Surf’s up sweet Kitty Become one with the ocean Where’s that shark, he’s late! B: Slide, Hello Kitty On a path of razor blades Kitty hash for lunch ---
**Author:** ![koeeoaddi](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/koeeoaddi/32/408_2.png) [@koeeoaddi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/koeeoaddi)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 2:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/4 "2004-10-02T02:11:03Z")
Apostate of Hell oh feline monstrosity — bow around your ear. ---
**Author:** ![susan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/susan/32/17537_2.png) [@susan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/susan)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/5 "2004-10-02T03:32:49Z")
Honolulu dusk. Sayonara, kitty in every store window. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/6 "2004-10-02T04:19:57Z")
Lame hello kitty Real kitties eat dead rodents Leaving me the heads ---
**Author:** ![Jenaroph](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/e8c25b/32.png) [@Jenaroph](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jenaroph)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/7 "2004-10-02T04:40:05Z")
Mouthless, she mutters, “Hello Kitty, goodbye soul.” Adjusts her bow, laughs. ---
**Author:** ![The\_world\_s\_most\_deadliest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/bc79bd/32.png) [@The\_world\_s\_most\_deadliest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_world_s_most_deadliest)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/8 "2004-10-02T04:52:38Z")
2-D mouthless cat harbinger of J-pop fads aren’t you cheesy yet? ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/9 "2004-10-02T04:57:09Z")
Ambassador of Cute conformity, you rise Like the sun, brightly. Hello kitty! I Want to run away. But there Is nowhere to go. Hello Kitty tam- pons and vibrators. Your shi- ny world has shadows. (Yes, I know that one is off-kilter. That’s not an accident.) Pink fuzzy cuteness. Everyone regresses. We Can no longer fight. I want to smother Pink Kitty’s vapidity. A pillow here please. Years of writing Devilbunny stories has trained me for this fight. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Sternvogel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/bc79bd/32.png) [@Sternvogel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sternvogel)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 5:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/10 "2004-10-02T05:13:28Z")
Kitty’s on surfboard, A tsunami approaches – Water _is_ your foe. Slide down this nice board! Sure, we’re in Phoenix at noon, But it’s a **dry** heat! ---
**Author:** ![The\_Hamster\_King](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/8edcca/32.png) [@The\_Hamster\_King](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_Hamster_King)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 5:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/11 "2004-10-02T05:47:59Z")
I, [Pochacco](http://www.sanrio.com/main/charactersection/pc.html), am Cuter than that fucking cat! (Props to [Badtz Maru](http://www.sanrio.com/main/charactersection/xo.html).) ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/12 "2004-10-02T06:35:39Z")
I lament losing pretty kitty vibrator. Oh, the shame and tears. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/13 "2004-10-02T06:38:51Z")
Oh glucose temptress, causing insulin coma. Bite my honky ass. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/14 "2004-10-02T06:42:20Z")
Sunscreen lathered tramp, swathed in pink perversity. Mary Kay hates you. ---
**Author:** ![Lsura](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7993a0/32.png) [@Lsura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lsura)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/15 "2004-10-02T09:40:13Z")
All for little girls Hello Kitty! is a trap To brainwash females ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/16 "2004-10-02T14:46:01Z")
God made deep blue ocean God made red of sunset Pink kitty spoils view Real cat not pink Real cat hates slide Real cat rip out Hello Kitty’s eyes ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 2:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/17 "2004-10-02T14:55:36Z")
One Hello Kitty One 1920’s style death ray Makes Goodbye Kitty ---
**Author:** ![Otto](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/bbe5ce/32.png) [@Otto](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Otto)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/18 "2004-10-02T18:11:59Z")
Slash the “one” out your second line and you’re in the pattern… Hello Kitty sucks Grotesque mouthless cat beast DIE Badtz maru kicks ass ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/19 "2004-10-02T19:26:42Z")
Hello Kitty gone Room for just one on this board Hi there, Opal Cat! ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/20 "2004-10-02T20:07:43Z")
I pet Kitty’s fur, so very soft and cuddly Glad I skinned the corpse [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134.md?page=2)