# A New Evil Is Upon Us: Hello Kitty Haiku Contest **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [October 2, 2004, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134 "2004-10-02T01:45:41Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 8:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/21 "2004-10-02T20:15:06Z")
Kitty in my lap, Purrs loudly and is so warm, I was in heat too ---
**Author:** ![Shirley\_Ujest](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shirley\_Ujest](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shirley_Ujest)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/22 "2004-10-02T21:47:00Z")
These are most excellent. It is frightening to think of such intelligent dopers sitting there at their cubicles with visions of Hello Kitty swimming in their inner vision and counting on their fingers. ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 9:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/23 "2004-10-02T21:55:15Z")
Popular pink pussy, mouthless insatiable cat. Pikachu wants some. ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 9:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/24 "2004-10-02T21:58:33Z")
Ah, Hello Kitty. I scream her name with passion As I screw Garfield ---
**Author:** ![Mockingbird](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c68b51/32.png) [@Mockingbird](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mockingbird)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/25 "2004-10-02T21:59:32Z")
For those who never experienced the glory that once was alt.sex.hello-kitty: [http://www.angelfire.com/la/carlosmay/MomenKitty.html](http://www.angelfire.com/la/carlosmay/MomenKitty.html) ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 10:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/26 "2004-10-02T22:46:41Z")
There’s a Hello Cthulhu icon halfway down that page, **Mockingbird**. This confirms something I’ve always suspected. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 2, 2004, 10:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/27 "2004-10-02T22:54:44Z")
Cute pink stalking-horse Looks so harmless to us now– Broken minds later. Ancient evil spawns Silly pinkish merchandise. Camouflage is fun! Japanese schoolgirls Drag their parents to the store. Soon evil will feed. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/28 "2004-10-03T02:30:53Z")
Have no mouth, can’t eat Have no anus, can’t excrete But hey, surf’s up, dude! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/29 "2004-10-03T02:50:34Z")
The dog waits nearby His “cat fud” sign on the wall Can Kitty read it? ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/30 "2004-10-03T02:55:26Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > There’s a Hello Cthulhu icon halfway down that page, **Mockingbird**. This confirms something I’ve always suspected. Dead, she waits and dreams The cities of man shall fall, Fear Kitty’s return! ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/31 "2004-10-03T02:58:02Z")
That’s good, **DocCathode**! Can I use it on a T-shirt? ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/32 "2004-10-03T03:40:06Z")
Kitties run and hide they don’t want to be buggered by men from Philly You’re a sick puppy, Doc-but I like you, anyway 😉 ---
**Author:** ![DocCathode](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/doccathode/32/18773_2.png) [@DocCathode](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DocCathode)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 3:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/33 "2004-10-03T03:55:56Z")
> [@Sunspace](#): > > That’s good, **DocCathode**! Can I use it on a T-shirt? If sold on web site, I must get credit and shirt My size- extra large ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/34 "2004-10-03T04:39:11Z")
> [@DocCathode](#): > > If sold on web site, > I must get credit and shirt > My size- extra large To fight the evil, No sacrifice too large. I Will send you email. ---
**Author:** ![danceswithcats](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/9e8a1a/32.png) [@danceswithcats](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/danceswithcats)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/35 "2004-10-03T05:10:34Z")
Hello Kitty hate gives rise to business model Fifth avenue is proud ---
**Author:** ![Shalmanese](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/45deac/32.png) [@Shalmanese](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shalmanese)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/36 "2004-10-03T05:42:54Z")
Kitty with Green Beans? Four dorrah ninety seven. I deliver now. ---
**Author:** ![Sunspace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sunspace/32/1250_2.png) [@Sunspace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sunspace)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/37 "2004-10-03T05:58:29Z")
And thus it begins. Even revolt is rendered Safe. Hello Kitty! ---
**Author:** ![Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d26b3c/32.png) [@Mr.Blue\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mr.Blue_Sky)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/38 "2004-10-03T13:47:39Z")
Strange Hello Kitty Japanese people are weird Oh wait, we have Cher ---
**Author:** ![Greywolf73](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/d9b06d/32.png) [@Greywolf73](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Greywolf73)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/39 "2004-10-03T14:33:31Z")
Warm Hello Kitty Goes well with a side of fries Hmmm, how many carbs? ---
**Author:** ![Saitou](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/8c91f0/32.png) [@Saitou](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Saitou)\ **Post date:** [October 3, 2004, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134/40 "2004-10-03T15:43:40Z")
Evil saluting cat Living the endless summer - Buried in the sand [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-evil-is-upon-us-hello-kitty-haiku-contest/267134.md?page=3)