# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/1 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")
It MUST be the punchline of a joke you know. Not something that _could_ be the punchline of a joke. Examples and the first two. 1. And the bartender asked him “Do you think I asked the genie for a 12 inch pianist?” 2. And the Mother Superior answered “25 dollars, same as in town.” ---
**Author:** ![cmkeller](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmkeller/32/118_2.png) [@cmkeller](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmkeller)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 6:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/2 "2020-04-08T18:14:04Z")
“Maybe I should have said Joe Dimaggio?” ---
**Author:** ![RealityChuck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/realitychuck/32/195_2.png) [@RealityChuck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RealityChuck)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 6:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/3 "2020-04-08T18:21:09Z")
“There goes the bell. Now we have to go in and string beads.” “Who’s confessing? I’m bragging.” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 6:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/4 "2020-04-08T18:25:19Z")
“You don’t eat a pig like that all at once!” ---
**Author:** ![jaycat](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jaycat/32/3015_2.png) [@jaycat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/jaycat)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 6:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/5 "2020-04-08T18:27:51Z")
He had snap and crackle, but no pop. ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/6 "2020-04-08T19:05:18Z")
“Hey! It’s a talking muffin!!” ---
**Author:** ![Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tim_r.mortiss/32/142_2.png) [@Tim\_R.Mortiss](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tim_R.Mortiss)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/7 "2020-04-08T19:08:41Z")
“Okay, coffee break is over. Everyone back on your heads.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/8 "2020-04-08T19:15:55Z")
“Move over, girls. I have to gargle.” “Hell, no. I’m trying to get the taste out of my mouth.” “Excuse me, you gonna eat that?” “They took her picture off the box because her box is in pictures.” “Neither have I. Must be the cobbles.” “Yes it does, doesn’t it?” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/9 "2020-04-08T19:17:40Z")
The old guy looks around, and makes sure that nobody is listening, and leans to the man, and he says: “but if you fuck one sheep…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/10 "2020-04-08T19:27:16Z")
“Don’t worry, we’ve got another one in the boot.” “You don’t usually come in before four o’clock, Father.” “Hey! I can see your house from up here!” “Gee whiz, Mom! You’re always spoilin’ my tricks!” “I didn’t have holes in my feet the last time!” “Anybody wanna buy a fly?” ---
**Author:** ![Shoeless](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/shoeless/32/7099_2.png) [@Shoeless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shoeless)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/11 "2020-04-08T19:28:26Z")
“I don’t know… maybe you should just pet him first.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/12 "2020-04-08T19:30:35Z")
“Move the cat and I will.” ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/13 "2020-04-08T19:34:39Z")
“Dick van Dyke.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/14 "2020-04-08T19:36:08Z")
“What is this, some kind of joke?” ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/15 "2020-04-08T19:37:12Z")
“The aristocrats!” “You can keep the duck.” “Admit it, you’re not here to hunt are you?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/16 "2020-04-08T19:43:30Z")
“You’re so freakin’ smart, you tell me!” “I was talking to the duck!” “BITCH!” “I learned to say ‘How very nice!’ instead of ‘Fuck you, bitch!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/17 "2020-04-08T19:57:30Z")
“Hey, Masked Man! You left yer Injun runnin’ ouside!” “Ugh, what you mean ‘we,’ White Man?” “Ugh, me sorry Chief. That not bacon tree, that 'am bush.” “Well, ma’am, looks like this just ain’t your lucky day!” ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 7:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/18 "2020-04-08T19:59:34Z")
“So the bear grabs the rabbit and wipes his ass with it.” ---
**Author:** ![Paintcharge](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/paintcharge/32/7946_2.png) [@Paintcharge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Paintcharge)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/19 "2020-04-08T20:04:09Z")
“Yeah, and it’s deep, too.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/20 "2020-04-08T20:04:33Z")
“That’s okay. My name is Kevin, and I’m on my way to a costume party.” [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=2)