# A new Punch Line thread

**URL:** <https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364>\
**Category:** Cafe Society\
**Tags:** comedian-jokes\
**Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\
**Posts on this page:** 20\
**Page:** 12

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**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/221 "2020-04-19T23:11:05Z")

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“How much is a brazilian?”

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**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/222 "2020-04-19T23:14:25Z")

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“I didn’t say she was going crazy. I said she was fucking Goofy.”

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**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/223 "2020-04-19T23:18:12Z")

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“To wipe the Klingons off Uranus.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/224 "2020-04-19T23:21:22Z")

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“This time, you hold down the goddamned pigeons while I crap on them!”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/225 "2020-04-19T23:42:20Z")

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“The deaf nun looks up from her knitting and says ‘Father who? Father who?’”

“Kermit the Frog’s finger.”

“Kermit likes sweet and sour pork.”

“‘Frog Sticks Log in Hog.’”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 19, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/226 "2020-04-19T23:57:51Z")

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“Yeah, but doesn’t that suit look great?”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/227 "2020-04-20T03:34:47Z")

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“It’s always about the money with you Jews, isn’t it?”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 3:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/228 "2020-04-20T03:45:52Z")

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“No, you need extra large. Otherwise one ball will sit on top of the other and you’ll get one hell of a headache right between your eyes!”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/229 "2020-04-20T03:49:58Z")

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“Well, I’m not sure. But it sounded like ‘Pincus phuctus.’”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/230 "2020-04-20T04:20:09Z")

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“Eh, my wife is from Minsk!”

“That’s true, Moishe. But think of the job security!”

“Eh, I just like reading about how rich and powerful we are.”

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**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 5:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/231 "2020-04-20T17:44:59Z")

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“I… love a parade.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![furryman](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/furryman/32/99_2.png) [@furryman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/furryman)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 6:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/232 "2020-04-20T18:19:42Z")

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> [@Ranger\_Jeff](#):
>
> It MUST be the punchline of a joke you know. Not something that _could_ be the punchline of a joke. Examples and the first two.
> 
> 1. And the bartender asked him “Do you think I asked the genie for a 12 inch pianist?”
> 
> 2. And the Mother Superior answered “25 dollars, same as in town.”

I think the punch line to 1 is “The Genie was hard of hearing.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 20, 2020, 10:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/233 "2020-04-20T22:00:45Z")

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“When dago flat, dago ‘wop-wop-wop!’”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 2:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/234 "2020-04-21T02:59:01Z")

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He burned his lips trying to blow up a bus.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/235 "2020-04-21T04:21:03Z")

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“I was told to blow up as many cunts as I can.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/236 "2020-04-21T14:23:46Z")

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“Watson, you fool! Someone’s stolen our tent!”

Descartes says, “I think not,” and disappeared.

\>smack\< “Yeah, we get 'em all the time in this old bar.”

“It’s okay. The smartest man in the world just jumped out with my backpack!”

“Some people can tell a joke, and some can’t.”

“What you told me is perfectly true yet absolutely worthless.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 2:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/237 "2020-04-21T14:59:10Z")

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“Who said he \*wants \*to get married?”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 7:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/238 "2020-04-21T19:35:26Z")

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I’m totally broke.

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 7:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/239 "2020-04-21T19:39:41Z")

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“Five. One for advancing, four for retreating.”

“To see the \*old \*Italian navy.”

“A twelve-year-old who can outrun her brothers.”

“They couldn’t find three wise men and a virgin.”

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<div class="post-metadata">

**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\
**Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 8:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/240 "2020-04-21T20:06:35Z")

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A West Virginia unemployment line.

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