# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 13
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 8:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/241 "2020-04-21T20:18:07Z")
“She could taste her blood on her son’s dick.” “Weren’t room enough in that bed to go like _this_, so we all went like _this_.” “But Paw, her li’l ol’ arm gits so tired!” “She ain’t good enough fer her own kinfolk, she ain’t good enough for me!” ---
**Author:** ![RTFirefly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/c77e96/32.png) [@RTFirefly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RTFirefly)\ **Post date:** [April 21, 2020, 10:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/242 "2020-04-21T22:24:54Z")
“Goldberg, iceberg, what’s the difference?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 12:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/243 "2020-04-22T00:10:04Z")
“Ah! At last, a hot meal!” ---
**Author:** ![divemaster](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/divemaster/32/78_2.png) [@divemaster](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/divemaster)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 1:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/244 "2020-04-22T01:12:48Z")
“That’s nacho cheese! That’s na-cho cheese!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 1:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/245 "2020-04-22T01:21:59Z")
“Good thing we didn’t step in it!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/246 "2020-04-22T03:00:37Z")
“I feel sorry for Larry. He brought watermelons.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/247 "2020-04-22T03:04:42Z")
“Ja, sure. Jus’ keep dat fresh air comin’!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/248 "2020-04-22T07:33:12Z")
“You don’t know where you are, you don’t know how you got there, and you expect me to save your ass.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/249 "2020-04-22T13:57:37Z")
“He didn’t know where he was going when he left, he didn’t know where he was when he was there, and he didn’t know where he’d been when he got back—and he did it all on other people’s money.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/250 "2020-04-22T16:47:13Z")
“Hey, demon! Get off the fuckin’ car!” “Because he was a little more on.” “Well, he keeps the children entertained and, goodness knows, we can use the eggs.” They’d come to see _Closed for Winter._ “Here’s a spoon, then. We ain’t got no 'lectricity.” “We need to start using all these big city amenities, Ma. Call the Fire Department.” The coffin stopped. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/251 "2020-04-22T20:09:25Z")
“Your light was on.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 22, 2020, 9:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/252 "2020-04-22T21:45:10Z")
“They usually just spit them out.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/253 "2020-04-23T04:39:32Z")
“I just put in a personal check for $15,000, and took out my change.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 6:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/254 "2020-04-23T06:37:13Z")
“A ‘surge.’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 4:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/255 "2020-04-23T16:59:22Z")
A graduate student who’s reloading. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 9:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/256 "2020-04-23T21:47:24Z")
“Roll her in flour and aim for the wet spot.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/257 "2020-04-23T22:52:22Z")
Mexico and Canada. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 23, 2020, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/258 "2020-04-23T23:48:36Z")
“Everybody who can run, jump, or swim is already in the United States.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2020, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/259 "2020-04-24T20:24:36Z")
“What’s that sound?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2020, 9:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/260 "2020-04-24T21:25:52Z")
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