# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 14
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2020, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/261 "2020-04-24T23:20:19Z")
“Gentlemen! Have you no Holmes to go to?” “Big World.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2020, 12:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/262 "2020-04-25T00:56:54Z")
“Flo.” “Wanda.” “Muffy.” “Mmm-mmmm! Eliza!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2020, 4:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/263 "2020-04-25T04:48:33Z")
“Was it moose cock?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2020, 5:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/264 "2020-04-25T05:58:08Z")
“A submarine.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2020, 4:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/265 "2020-04-25T16:48:40Z")
A stick. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2020, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/266 "2020-04-25T19:38:16Z")
“No, but I’ve had a novel experience with a vicar.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/267 "2020-04-26T05:30:04Z")
“Oh, since I was a puppy.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/268 "2020-04-26T05:38:39Z")
“Nothing to do with me. I’m a helicopter!” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 6:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/269 "2020-04-26T06:31:04Z")
“Well, then you’re gonna HATE Thursdays” “I’ve NEVER eaten a parakeet! Now, I might have had a cockatoo…” “So he picks her up and throws her on the ocean. ‘Now, you’re fucked’.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 7:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/270 "2020-04-26T07:30:04Z")
“Then I saw she had a huge dick, and holy crap! I can’t swim!” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 1:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/271 "2020-04-26T13:16:54Z")
“Shut up, or I’ll nail your other foot to the floor”. “Shut up, and reload”. “She drew a prophet from a rush on the bank”. “Did you ever see someone bowl 300 and lose?” “You oscillate its tit a lot”. “Everyone ran for cover when ‘B-52’ was called”. “He had an Apple in one hand and a Wang in the other”. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 2:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/272 "2020-04-26T14:29:21Z")
And now she has athletes fetus ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/273 "2020-04-26T15:19:33Z")
“The term ‘Mad Cow Disease’ was already taken.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 7:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/274 "2020-04-26T19:54:51Z")
“I just have to tell someone: you’re not gonna _believe_ who I’ve been sleeping with…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/275 "2020-04-26T21:50:40Z")
“Shhhhhh! Quiet, dude! I’m having her now!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2020, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/276 "2020-04-26T22:02:51Z")
“Holy shit! Look at all them goddamned fucking Indians!” ---
**Author:** ![FrenchDunadan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frenchdunadan/32/5449_2.png) [@FrenchDunadan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrenchDunadan)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 11:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/277 "2020-04-27T11:42:55Z")
“So, do you have any beefsteak?” “You’re right! it really looks like you’re f\*\*\*ing !” “a chocolate bar” “We never had any problem like that, me and the _Charlemagne_’ buddies…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/278 "2020-04-27T15:21:54Z")
“The Ignited Negro Fund.” ---
**Author:** ![DesertDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/desertdog/32/11503_2.png) [@DesertDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DesertDog)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 3:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/279 "2020-04-27T15:51:27Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Holy shit! Look at all them goddamned fucking Indians!” I must have had the kids’ version: “Holy cow! Lookit all them cotton pickin’ Indians!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 5:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/280 "2020-04-27T17:40:24Z")
“I have to admit, I almost said something when my wife fell out of the plane.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=13) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=15)