# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 15
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/281 "2020-04-27T20:21:14Z")
“_Non_, _non_, _non_, monsieur! Not ze _peach_, ze _poussay_!” ---
**Author:** ![Scribble](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/scribble/32/3317_2.png) [@Scribble](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scribble)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 10:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/282 "2020-04-27T22:47:35Z")
Well, could be worse! At least I don’t have cancer! Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/283 "2020-04-27T23:05:52Z")
“No, just those who catch my eye.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2020, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/284 "2020-04-27T23:45:31Z")
“Oh, by the way: Have you heard Walter Mondale is fucking Jodie Foster?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 6:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/285 "2020-04-28T18:47:13Z")
“Oh, it’s just the O’Doyle twins, drunk again.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 7:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/286 "2020-04-28T19:33:21Z")
“Where’s the library at, asshole?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2020, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/287 "2020-04-28T20:31:38Z")
“How did you get their little legs apart?” ---
**Author:** ![FrenchDunadan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/frenchdunadan/32/5449_2.png) [@FrenchDunadan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FrenchDunadan)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 11:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/288 "2020-04-29T11:53:14Z")
“And now it gives liquid soap…” “Well, everyone of them” “myes, butm imt’s mnot mvery measy…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/289 "2020-04-29T13:52:18Z")
“A wedding with two organ grinders.” ---
**Author:** ![Dsorgnzd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Dsorgnzd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dsorgnzd)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/290 "2020-04-29T15:20:23Z")
But you know… sometimes I just wish I could wake up before eight a.m. ---
**Author:** ![Dsorgnzd](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/85e7bf/32.png) [@Dsorgnzd](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dsorgnzd)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 3:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/291 "2020-04-29T15:28:51Z")
“No. Do you know anything about gas stoves?” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 4:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/292 "2020-04-29T16:09:09Z")
“Hey Rose, what’s the name of that restaurant?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2020, 4:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/293 "2020-04-29T16:14:50Z")
“If I’da known vat’s vat, I’da gone in college.” “You see the one on the left? That’s the one I don’t go to.” “You’re velcome.” “You’re out of toilet paper in the Ladies’ Room.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2020, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/294 "2020-04-30T18:13:58Z")
“Well, I’m in the bar right next door to there.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2020, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/295 "2020-04-30T19:49:03Z")
“You get your dog, your woman, and your pickup back.” “New Age music.” “He was great on the piano, but sucked on the organ.” “So his friends would recognize him.” ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2020, 1:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/296 "2020-05-01T01:56:53Z")
“if you wait about one minute, I can save you $10,000” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2020, 2:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/297 "2020-05-01T02:02:42Z")
“We Be Toys an’ Shiiiiiit.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2020, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/298 "2020-05-01T02:17:30Z")
(in a drunk-sounding voice): “OK, whersh that girl who needsh her toenails clipped?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2020, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/299 "2020-05-01T02:24:31Z")
“He liked playing with his change.” “No, no. I said ‘Hand me the bouys!’” ---
**Author:** ![3trew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/3/13edae/32.png) [@3trew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/3trew)\ **Post date:** [May 1, 2020, 3:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/300 "2020-05-01T03:34:49Z")
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