# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 18
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2020, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/341 "2020-05-07T20:09:04Z")
“Reservations.” “She can’t stand to see someone else having a good time.” “Forget the lightbulb, I’ll just lie here all alone in the dark.” “A Rottweiler eventually lets go of you.” “_ **Debbie Does Dishes** _.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2020, 12:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/342 "2020-05-08T00:57:13Z")
“They can’t figure out who Sochal Distan Singh is.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2020, 3:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/343 "2020-05-08T03:17:27Z")
“I bet him _two_ million dollars that I could get the president of the Chase Manhattan Bank to expose himself to me in his office today.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2020, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/344 "2020-05-08T05:30:51Z")
“The nonstop beeping and flashing light were making her dizzy and nauseated.” “How do you give shoulders?” “Nothing at all.” “They wanted to kill us, we won. Let’s eat!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2020, 5:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/345 "2020-05-08T05:46:43Z")
> [@Johnny\_Q](#): > > “Welcome to Jamaica, mon. Have a nice day!” No, no! It’s “Welcome to Jamaica, mon! Hope you have a wonderful time!” 🆒 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2020, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/346 "2020-05-09T00:18:11Z")
“We use it as a fan.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2020, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/347 "2020-05-09T00:35:06Z")
“She drops her nail file.” “MAIDS.” “Under the vacuum cleaner.” “Is anything alright?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2020, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/348 "2020-05-09T05:34:12Z")
On her way to get it she tripped over a cow. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2020, 6:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/349 "2020-05-09T06:56:35Z")
“No, I’m an ex-Tractor fan.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2020, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/350 "2020-05-09T21:23:38Z")
“She’s also got worms, and I LOOOOve fishing!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 9, 2020, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/351 "2020-05-09T23:41:44Z")
“Nope, but it’s twitchin’ a mite.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 12:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/352 "2020-05-10T00:29:28Z")
“No, but I am breathing heavily.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/353 "2020-05-10T05:45:49Z")
“A set of jumper cables at a/an **[…]**\* wedding.” \*Insert favorite impoverished minority group. ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/354 "2020-05-10T10:00:32Z")
“What’s all this ‘beep beep’ shit?” “Go get your mother” “Well, can you stick it back in the mud?” “Touch? Yes. Suck? No. I used to be six feet tall” “I have? Well, what do I owe you, then?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 10:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/355 "2020-05-10T10:18:31Z")
“They squint every time they go ‘Suck _what_?’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 7:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/356 "2020-05-10T19:48:31Z")
Trump stared at her and said, “Well, what’s in it for me?” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 10:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/357 "2020-05-10T22:31:15Z")
The Brothers Johnson. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 10, 2020, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/358 "2020-05-10T22:39:08Z")
“She knows she’s given her last blowjob.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2020, 2:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/359 "2020-05-11T02:54:23Z")
“I’m [fill in the name of a hated politician]. Now get off my damned throne.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2020, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/360 "2020-05-11T05:03:32Z")
“Oh, when I _die_. I thought you were gettin’ a load up _now_.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=17) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=19)