# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 19
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2020, 5:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/361 "2020-05-11T05:32:00Z")
“Oh, when I _die_. I thought you were gettin’ a load up _now_.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2020, 6:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/362 "2020-05-11T18:51:54Z")
“Name them.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2020, 10:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/363 "2020-05-11T22:55:06Z")
“The Bishop looks at her and says ‘Well, goddammit, let him try!’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 6:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/364 "2020-05-12T18:17:40Z")
“You look stressed; you need to unwind. Why not go to the theatre?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2020, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/365 "2020-05-12T20:38:40Z")
“Helen Curly Brown.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 3:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/366 "2020-05-13T15:12:21Z")
He opened the last envelope and read, _Prepare three envelopes._ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 3:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/367 "2020-05-13T15:35:45Z")
“… And third, you’re black.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/368 "2020-05-13T17:04:13Z")
“Well, I have to tell you, She’s pissed, and She’s black.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2020, 5:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/369 "2020-05-13T17:06:43Z")
“They hate Russians and they piss oil.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2020, 4:26am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/370 "2020-05-14T04:26:54Z")
“I know what you mean, but there are a lot of popes up here, and he’s the first lawyer.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2020, 11:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/371 "2020-05-14T11:01:38Z")
“Hey! Who’s that up there with Harry?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2020, 1:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/372 "2020-05-14T13:23:25Z")
“It’s better than pork, isn’t it?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2020, 1:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/373 "2020-05-14T13:47:36Z")
“I promised you Eternity with 72 Virginians. What did you think I said?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2020, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/374 "2020-05-14T15:34:17Z")
“Write him a ticket, Yuri.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2020, 3:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/375 "2020-05-14T15:53:58Z")
“But Comrade Brezhnev! They’re eating with chopsticks!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/376 "2020-05-15T17:17:24Z")
The Tsar put his hand over the receiver and said, “I don’t know, Gromyko. What do you think?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/377 "2020-05-15T18:38:13Z")
“You may enter, former Vice-President Quayle.” ---
**Author:** ![solost](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/solost/32/11776_2.png) [@solost](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/solost)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 6:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/378 "2020-05-15T18:57:21Z")
“Aye laddie, I dinna ken what ye were up to last night, but looks like ye took first prize!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2020, 7:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/379 "2020-05-15T19:05:12Z")
“Every time you turn around, I step out of the circle!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2020, 2:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/380 "2020-05-17T02:55:16Z")
“They pretend to pay us, and we pretend to work.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=18) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=20)