# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/21 "2020-04-08T20:07:20Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “Hey, Masked Man! You left yer Injun runnin’ ouside!” > > “Ugh, what you mean ‘we,’ White Man?” > > “Ugh, me sorry Chief. That not bacon tree, that 'am bush.” > > “Well, ma’am, looks like this just ain’t your lucky day!” “It just goes to show, you don’t fuck with the Lone Ranger.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/22 "2020-04-08T20:10:17Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > “It just goes to show, you don’t fuck with the Lone Ranger.” “Kemo sabe, tribe say you wear that mask 'cause you ashamed of our relationship!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/23 "2020-04-08T20:19:12Z")
“Oh, not much. Sit around … watch porn flicks … eat Cheetos …” “Grape.” “Just give it a wash. Those are tobacco stains.” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/24 "2020-04-08T20:19:23Z")
“I don’t know what you’re praying for – I’m saying grace!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/25 "2020-04-08T20:25:47Z")
“Ooooh, wot’s this 'ere?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/26 "2020-04-08T20:30:15Z")
**"Fuck off, you red-nosed cunt!"** ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/27 "2020-04-08T20:32:54Z")
“What’s the sound you get when your sheep explodes?” Carnak, so reversed. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 9:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/28 "2020-04-08T21:00:15Z")
And she told him “You can if you want to… it’s your cow.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 9:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/29 "2020-04-08T21:50:11Z")
And my husband said, “Fuck him. Give him a dollar.” ---
**Author:** ![Yllaria](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yllaria/32/3452_2.png) [@Yllaria](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yllaria)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 10:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/30 "2020-04-08T22:25:08Z")
> [@silenus](#): > > “What’s the sound you get when your sheep explodes?” > > Carnak, so reversed. I was tickled that I knew that one. Wrecked 'im? Damn near killed 'im. I don’t know his name, but his face rings a bell. What, were you expecting feathers? ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 10:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/31 "2020-04-08T22:36:56Z")
“It’s an ambush! There are two of them!” ---
**Author:** ![Horatio\_Hellpop](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/e5b9ba/32.png) [@Horatio\_Hellpop](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Horatio_Hellpop)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 10:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/32 "2020-04-08T22:53:41Z")
“YOU’RE Thor? I’m so thor I can hardly pith!” ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/33 "2020-04-08T22:58:41Z")
God willing, that’s blood. And then the pig got up and walked away. I don;t know where you’ve been, but I see you won first prize! ---
**Author:** ![Tatterdemalion](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/43a26b/32.png) [@Tatterdemalion](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tatterdemalion)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 11:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/34 "2020-04-08T23:12:18Z")
And in honor of Jim Peebles, Loose lips zinc sheeps. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 11:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/35 "2020-04-08T23:47:02Z")
“Congratulations: You have just been screwed by Granny!” “Now, then: Who’s on first?” “No, I want to be Frank!” “That bastard! All these years, he’s been telling me it’s Gabriel’s Trumpet…” “You don’t have heartburn, lady. Your tit’s in the ashtray.” “You can tell them if you want. I ain’t swimming out there!” “Sure I can. But if I know you, you’ll switch it off as soon as I get up there!” “I was down in some guy’s basement, and boy! Does he have a set of electric trains!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 8, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/36 "2020-04-08T23:57:59Z")
“Keep the tip!” ---
**Author:** ![markn\_1](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f9ae1b/32.png) [@markn\_1](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/markn_1)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 12:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/37 "2020-04-09T00:13:50Z")
“Oy, the same thing happened to me! I sent my son to study in Israel and he came back a Christian!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 12:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/38 "2020-04-09T00:35:45Z")
“License and registration.” “That’s all right. This is an imaginary mongoose.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 12:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/39 "2020-04-09T00:39:38Z")
“No, I’m German. And how did you know my name was Walter?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 9, 2020, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/40 "2020-04-09T00:44:08Z")
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