# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 20
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2020, 3:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/381 "2020-05-17T03:01:33Z")
“The Kennedy family.”\* \*This one was hilarious if you were around in the '70s and '80s! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Superdude](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/superdude/32/13450_2.png) [@Superdude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Superdude)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2020, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/382 "2020-05-17T03:20:43Z")
“They found her head & shoulders on the beach.” “With a dustbuster” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 17, 2020, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/383 "2020-05-17T03:51:21Z")
“No, silly! We call him ‘Porky’ 'cause he likes to fuck pigs.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 18, 2020, 6:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/384 "2020-05-18T18:24:50Z")
“The rooster opens one eye, points at the buzzards, and goes ‘Shhhhhhhh!’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 2:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/385 "2020-05-19T02:43:42Z")
“Fill it with water.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 7:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/386 "2020-05-19T07:33:46Z")
“The farmer stamps his foot and says ‘Goddammit, that’s the third qu\*\*r rooster I bought this month!’” :mad: ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 6:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/387 "2020-05-19T18:34:14Z")
“That sheep has always been a liar!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 19, 2020, 6:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/388 "2020-05-19T18:49:01Z")
“The mother sighs and says ‘They only come out when your father’s driving, dear.’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/389 "2020-05-21T05:01:33Z")
“I have very good news: now, we will _never_ have to return any land to the Palestinians!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 12:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/390 "2020-05-21T12:11:22Z")
“She bought ‘My Fault’ auto insurance.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 8:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/391 "2020-05-21T20:12:10Z")
“True change comes from within.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 21, 2020, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/392 "2020-05-21T20:30:59Z")
Two visuals: “Helen Keller yelling for help at the bottom of a well.” “Helen Keller singing and playing the piano.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/393 "2020-05-22T04:18:27Z")
They rearrange the furniture. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/394 "2020-05-22T04:27:00Z")
“Tonto know all this 'cause stampede went through half hour ago.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 4:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/395 "2020-05-22T16:47:00Z")
“It is. It isn’t. It is. It isn’t…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 22, 2020, 5:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/396 "2020-05-22T17:39:03Z")
“Beats me. All he does is come in, lick his eyebrows, and the girls just flock over to him.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/397 "2020-05-23T15:41:47Z")
She tried to read a waffle iron. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/398 "2020-05-23T15:48:28Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > She tried to read a waffle iron. I thought I said that?!? :dubious: 😕 Another joke from the East: “I wish my neighbor Vanya’s cow were dead.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/399 "2020-05-23T19:28:32Z")
“Scare me half to death.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 7:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/400 "2020-05-23T19:34:55Z")
“Next time, try putting the potato in the front of your trunks.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=19) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=21)