# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 21
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 7:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/401 "2020-05-23T19:46:51Z")
He burned his lips trying to blow up a bus. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 23, 2020, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/402 "2020-05-23T20:07:49Z")
“The uniform looks great Hajukeiwicz, but we normally wear the jock strap on the inside.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 9:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/403 "2020-05-24T21:22:35Z")
“_Ouch_, OK, OK, _jeez_, I’m a raccoon, already!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/404 "2020-05-24T21:40:34Z")
“You’re not a miracle child. The Bishop was your father.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/405 "2020-05-24T21:53:53Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “_Ouch_, OK, OK, _jeez_, I’m a raccoon, already!” “We treat you like a King!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 24, 2020, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/406 "2020-05-24T23:41:14Z")
“I"m decomposing,” Beethoven said. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2020, 4:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/407 "2020-05-25T04:21:38Z")
“It’s cheap, not too bright, and real easy to spread.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2020, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/408 "2020-05-25T04:56:46Z")
It’s to keep the client from being billed twice for essentially the same service. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2020, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/409 "2020-05-25T05:22:18Z")
“A good start.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2020, 2:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/410 "2020-05-25T14:54:59Z")
So German troops can march in the shade. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 25, 2020, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/411 "2020-05-25T15:41:28Z")
“What shoes?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2020, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/412 "2020-05-27T04:29:46Z")
“Your parole officer hasn’t been born yet.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 27, 2020, 4:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/413 "2020-05-27T04:37:18Z")
“No, I play only with Ole’s packer.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2020, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/414 "2020-05-28T03:40:15Z")
The judge smiled and said kindly, “Well, just do the best you can.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2020, 4:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/415 "2020-05-28T04:09:58Z")
“So I was last in line, an’ when dey got t’me, I said ‘Sam’ t’ing.’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2020, 6:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/416 "2020-05-28T18:54:37Z")
A good start. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 28, 2020, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/417 "2020-05-28T19:09:42Z")
“When they got through Ellis Island, they had ‘TO N.Y.’ stamped on their foreheads.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 5:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/418 "2020-05-29T17:22:04Z")
Not enough sand. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 29, 2020, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/419 "2020-05-29T17:37:22Z")
“Jell-O wiggles when you eat it.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2020, 3:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/420 "2020-05-30T15:56:44Z")
Professional courtesy, of course. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=20) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=22)