# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 22
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 30, 2020, 5:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/421 "2020-05-30T17:47:07Z")
“Nobody eats parsley.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2020, 4:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/422 "2020-05-31T04:20:30Z")
“Oh, to be 70 again…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2020, 5:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/423 "2020-05-31T05:02:02Z")
“Consarn it, Deputy! I told you to round up a little _posse_!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2020, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/424 "2020-05-31T16:57:12Z")
:: blam :: “OK, he’s dead. Now what?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [May 31, 2020, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/425 "2020-05-31T17:30:07Z")
“You put his name in the book! This is _America_, and he’s got as much right to vote as anybody else!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2020, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/426 "2020-06-02T10:40:52Z")
“They’re meant for kids, but men like playing with them too.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2020, 1:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/427 "2020-06-03T01:20:54Z")
“Sorry. The doctor says you’re gonna die.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 3, 2020, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/428 "2020-06-03T02:01:47Z")
“‘Matador.’ ‘Picador.’ ‘Isidore.’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 3:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/429 "2020-06-04T03:41:50Z")
“He says you don’t have the _balls_ to pull that trigger.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/430 "2020-06-04T03:54:20Z")
“She puts them in the car.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/431 "2020-06-04T19:15:43Z")
“This is the Santa Clara Lighthouse. Your call.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 4, 2020, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/432 "2020-06-04T23:05:03Z")
“He would have put the ‘E’ back into NATO.” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 4:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/433 "2020-06-05T04:00:07Z")
Canine related… “He has a rough bark”. “He does his business on the sidewalk”. “When I open the door, in come Tax”. “It could be hailing taxis”. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/434 "2020-06-05T04:49:02Z")
A site for sure “Ayes.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 5, 2020, 12:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/435 "2020-06-05T12:58:12Z")
“A ‘Quayle.’” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2020, 4:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/436 "2020-06-06T04:54:15Z")
Not everybody who shits on you is an enemy Not everybody who pulls you out of shit is a friend If you are warm and happy in a pile of shit, KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2020, 10:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/437 "2020-06-06T10:35:57Z")
“They both knew Jack Kennedy.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2020, 5:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/438 "2020-06-06T17:33:00Z")
Never fired; thrown down once. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [June 6, 2020, 6:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/439 "2020-06-06T18:48:05Z")
“He didn’t have a major in college, but he had plenty of minors.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [June 8, 2020, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/440 "2020-06-08T04:01:53Z")
New Jersey got first pick. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=21) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=23)