# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 25
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 9, 2020, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/481 "2020-07-09T23:39:58Z")
“A pair of shopping bags.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2020, 2:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/482 "2020-07-11T14:26:12Z")
“The guy with the dog says ‘Get in line!’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2020, 6:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/483 "2020-07-11T18:26:00Z")
The clown can stay, but the Ferengi in the gorilla suit has to go. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2020, 8:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/484 "2020-07-11T20:17:52Z")
“There’s an oil slick in the bathtub.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2020, 3:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/485 "2020-07-12T03:52:42Z")
“Lucky I didn’t tell them about the dirty knife.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 13, 2020, 6:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/486 "2020-07-13T18:11:53Z")
“Just one, but it’s worth a credit at Iowa State.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 14, 2020, 2:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/487 "2020-07-14T14:19:25Z")
“I built it so that it could be the synagogue I _never_ go into.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2020, 12:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/488 "2020-07-15T00:50:00Z")
“To keep the cheerleaders from grazing at halftime.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2020, 4:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/489 "2020-07-15T04:06:22Z")
“The food is terrible, and the servings are too small.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2020, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/490 "2020-07-15T05:16:23Z")
“You’d raise the IQ of both states.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 15, 2020, 6:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/491 "2020-07-15T18:18:38Z")
This is the piece of cod which surpasseth all understanding. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 16, 2020, 12:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/492 "2020-07-16T00:11:28Z")
“‘Attention, K-Mart shoppers!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 17, 2020, 4:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/493 "2020-07-17T16:19:53Z")
“‘Cheap! Cheap! Cheap!’” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2020, 3:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/494 "2020-07-18T03:49:53Z")
“Big nose! Big nose!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2020, 9:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/495 "2020-07-18T09:33:49Z")
The way I heard it, the guy said “Well, fuck you, cunt-face!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 18, 2020, 9:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/496 "2020-07-18T09:40:39Z")
“Yell ‘IMMIGRATION!!!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2020, 6:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/497 "2020-07-19T06:34:28Z")
“Doesn’t matter. The winner was some Japanese horse named ‘Yarmulke.’” ---
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2020, 1:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/498 "2020-07-19T13:03:17Z")
“The two guys holding down ol’ Joe. He don’t go for that shit either”. “You screwed a stork, Pop?” “Because the road crossed the chicken. Paybacks are a bitch!” “Actually I’m happy to see you AND I have a banana in my pocket”. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2020, 1:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/499 "2020-07-19T13:24:22Z")
Not bad for a priest with a small parish and no car ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 19, 2020, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/500 "2020-07-19T19:52:47Z")
“Chug buttermilk until you puke.” “Say, that shapeless black dress certainly doth become thee.” “Doest thou come to these barn-raisings often?” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=24) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=26)