# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 26
**Author:** ![pkbites](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pkbites/32/204_2.png) [@pkbites](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pkbites)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2020, 1:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/501 "2020-07-20T01:14:08Z")
“There! Now you’re fucked!” ---
**Author:** ![Civil\_Guy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/d78d45/32.png) [@Civil\_Guy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Civil_Guy)\ **Post date:** [July 20, 2020, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/502 "2020-07-20T02:24:49Z")
“No, he’s not even from this village.” “I want two more just like it!” So the bartender gave it to her. ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/503 "2020-07-23T14:18:38Z")
Oh no, you got that when you bought the car! ---
**Author:** ![Kent\_Clark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kent_clark/32/105_2.png) [@Kent\_Clark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kent_Clark)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/504 "2020-07-23T14:23:02Z")
Twenty bucks, same as on the old Board. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 23, 2020, 3:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/505 "2020-07-23T15:57:21Z")
“What’s this button for?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 11:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/506 "2020-07-24T23:25:10Z")
“‘She Ain’t Heavy, She’s My Sister.’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/507 "2020-07-24T23:29:14Z")
“They told them they were edible.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/508 "2020-07-24T23:45:57Z")
“He hung himself with the cord.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 24, 2020, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/509 "2020-07-24T23:52:48Z")
“It’s when you get old and forget you were a Nazi.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 25, 2020, 1:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/510 "2020-07-25T01:58:45Z")
“Goose Green, Falkland Islands, SIR!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2020, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/511 "2020-07-26T03:30:08Z")
“I don’t care _who_ you know, sir.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2020, 4:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/512 "2020-07-26T04:08:06Z")
“Yeah, but this was just this morning.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2020, 4:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/513 "2020-07-26T04:12:25Z")
“Well, it’s only 2115 now.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2020, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/514 "2020-07-26T04:14:52Z")
“They want to be in top form for the chainsaw fights in the evening.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2020, 12:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/515 "2020-07-26T12:39:23Z")
“‘I’m so horny, not even the crack of dawn is safe around me!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 26, 2020, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/516 "2020-07-26T12:40:24Z")
“The package with the glass is marked HANDLE WITH CARE.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2020, 3:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/517 "2020-07-27T15:15:26Z")
Lefty. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 27, 2020, 11:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/518 "2020-07-27T23:52:52Z")
“A free-holey.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/519 "2020-07-28T15:49:54Z")
Answers to “Lucky.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [July 28, 2020, 6:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/520 "2020-07-28T18:20:16Z")
“El BJ.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=25) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=27)