# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 28
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2020, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/541 "2020-08-01T23:40:38Z")
“The bubbles hurt my nose.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2020, 11:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/542 "2020-08-01T23:41:37Z")
“No, but I married his widow.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 1, 2020, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/543 "2020-08-01T23:45:16Z")
“I could never get into the habit.” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/544 "2020-08-02T13:43:21Z")
“OK Monica, you can go” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 2, 2020, 5:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/545 "2020-08-02T17:18:01Z")
“His new chauffeur was Jacques Cousteau.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 3, 2020, 1:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/546 "2020-08-03T13:31:30Z")
“St Valentine’s Day moussaka.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2020, 2:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/547 "2020-08-05T02:31:10Z")
“Paddy O’Furniture.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2020, 10:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/548 "2020-08-06T22:26:48Z")
“You picked a fine time to leave me, loose wheel.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2020, 11:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/549 "2020-08-06T23:57:48Z")
“Other than that, Mrs Kennedy, how did you like Dallas?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2020, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/550 "2020-08-08T03:53:16Z")
“Well, you just had your Lab test.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2020, 6:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/551 "2020-08-08T06:15:07Z")
“Oooooh, what a way to go1” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2020, 3:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/552 "2020-08-08T15:31:34Z")
“Now we’ve completed the cat scan.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 8, 2020, 5:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/553 "2020-08-08T17:07:12Z")
“Iz dat so?” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2020, 1:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/554 "2020-08-09T01:53:20Z")
“Oh I wish I were an Oscar Mayer wiener…” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2020, 2:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/555 "2020-08-09T02:17:04Z")
“I don’t know him, but his face rings a bell.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2020, 4:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/556 "2020-08-09T04:39:56Z")
“Uncle Ted taught him how to navigate.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2020, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/557 "2020-08-09T21:20:16Z")
“Don’t fuck with grandpa when he’s drunk.” “He’s a dead ringer for his brother.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 9, 2020, 9:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/558 "2020-08-09T21:33:32Z")
“Uncle Ted killed just one woman when he crashed into the ocean.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 4:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/559 "2020-08-11T04:24:28Z")
“I couldn’t say, but he’s a dead ringer for the other guy!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 11, 2020, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/560 "2020-08-11T21:40:02Z")
“He’s not crazy. Just deaf.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=27) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=29)