# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 29
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 12, 2020, 9:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/561 "2020-08-12T21:14:50Z")
“Do you want me to stop or just slow down?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2020, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/562 "2020-08-13T00:36:28Z")
“Scrambled.” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2020, 4:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/563 "2020-08-13T04:51:25Z")
He’s clutching that lamp post and hasn’t coughed once! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 13, 2020, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/564 "2020-08-13T05:15:52Z")
“Would you like fries with that, sir?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2020, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/565 "2020-08-14T13:53:19Z")
“And that’s not a Porsche, by the way. It’s a BMW.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 14, 2020, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/566 "2020-08-14T16:33:15Z")
“What?!? And let the chickens out?!?” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2020, 4:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/567 "2020-08-15T04:55:17Z")
“Hold my beer.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 15, 2020, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/568 "2020-08-15T05:00:52Z")
“Aw, hell. You just peed in the refrigerator again.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 2:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/569 "2020-08-16T02:58:08Z")
“Ya’ll watch this.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 16, 2020, 3:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/570 "2020-08-16T03:05:29Z")
“Once upon a time, there were four bears…” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2020, 12:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/571 "2020-08-17T00:25:51Z")
“what’s eating you?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2020, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/572 "2020-08-17T02:08:21Z")
“The Texan just smiled and stoked the campfire with his dick.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2020, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/573 "2020-08-17T03:59:04Z")
“I can’t fix that with duct tape.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2020, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/574 "2020-08-17T15:21:32Z")
“That’s where you come in.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2020, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/575 "2020-08-18T15:47:44Z")
Six years old, and smuggled in from Russia. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 18, 2020, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/576 "2020-08-18T18:01:18Z")
“He got his face slapped.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2020, 4:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/577 "2020-08-19T04:38:43Z")
“Sure, I get slapped a lot. But I get laid a lot, too.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2020, 9:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/578 "2020-08-19T09:15:37Z")
“He left no tern unstoned.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2020, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/579 "2020-08-19T15:36:25Z")
If you take just one, he’ll drink all your beer. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2020, 5:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/580 "2020-08-19T17:26:37Z")
“Well hung.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=28) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=30)