# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 32
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 21, 2020, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/621 "2020-09-21T23:59:01Z")
“Land mines.” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 1:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/622 "2020-09-22T13:26:06Z")
“I could have been a sophomore”! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 22, 2020, 5:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/623 "2020-09-22T17:10:57Z")
“Smurf semen.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2020, 12:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/624 "2020-09-25T00:55:02Z")
Art… ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 25, 2020, 1:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/625 "2020-09-25T01:00:27Z")
“Bird farts.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 29, 2020, 7:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/626 "2020-09-29T19:26:43Z")
“That’s nothing. Wait 'til you see how we make jelly donuts.” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2020, 1:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/627 "2020-09-30T13:09:23Z")
“Shut up, and reload.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [September 30, 2020, 2:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/628 "2020-09-30T14:21:38Z")
“Michael Jackson\s other glove.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/629 "2020-10-07T14:38:35Z")
“We got it!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 2:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/630 "2020-10-07T14:46:59Z")
“I doubt it, ma’am. Major Goldman seldom makes mistakes.” ---
**Author:** ![Cardigan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cardigan/32/187_2.png) [@Cardigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cardigan)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 2:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/631 "2020-10-07T14:50:59Z")
“Okay, where’s the library at, asshole.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 7, 2020, 3:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/632 "2020-10-07T15:06:03Z")
“The end came up at the beginning.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2020, 4:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/633 "2020-10-08T04:47:36Z")
“Shut up or everyone will want one!” “Hey, only one to a customer!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 8, 2020, 5:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/634 "2020-10-08T05:01:49Z")
“Tonto. Tonto Goldstein. But my friends call me Bubba.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 10, 2020, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/635 "2020-10-10T17:30:48Z")
One, but he has to _want_ to change. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 11, 2020, 12:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/636 "2020-10-11T00:51:45Z")
“Help me, help me! There’s _sharks in these waters!_” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2020, 9:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/637 "2020-10-12T21:59:14Z")
“Nope. And that ain’t butter, neither.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 14, 2020, 11:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/638 "2020-10-14T23:26:01Z")
“You know, for a fat girl, you don’t sweat much.” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 3:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/639 "2020-10-15T03:30:04Z")
Why do you ask, Two dogs fucking? ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/640 "2020-10-15T03:51:48Z")
“She came across on the Mayflower.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=31) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=33)