# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 33
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [October 15, 2020, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/641 "2020-10-15T23:45:23Z")
“One is a Florida Key, and the other is the Rockettes.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 16, 2020, 12:36am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/642 "2020-10-16T00:36:24Z")
“Endless love.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [October 19, 2020, 11:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/643 "2020-10-19T23:48:06Z")
Christopher Walken ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 20, 2020, 1:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/644 "2020-10-20T01:48:06Z")
“The last one who did got shot.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 21, 2020, 10:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/645 "2020-10-21T22:45:43Z")
“The older they get, the easier they are to pick up.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/646 "2020-10-28T19:14:14Z")
“Then STOP CLAPPING, YA BASTARD!!!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 28, 2020, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/647 "2020-10-28T20:09:43Z")
“He is not aware of his ethnicity.”\* \*Bowdlerized version. ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 1:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/648 "2020-10-29T13:45:34Z")
The Constable replied “We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 29, 2020, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/649 "2020-10-29T14:45:14Z")
“Because he’s married.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2020, 3:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/650 "2020-10-30T03:35:11Z")
“But how does it _know_?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 30, 2020, 4:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/651 "2020-10-30T04:25:31Z")
“‘This is the most violent book I’ve ever read!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [October 31, 2020, 10:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/652 "2020-10-31T22:09:05Z")
“1. ‘I’m from the _government_, and I’m here to _help_ you.’ 2. ‘The check is in the mail.’ 3. ‘I promise I won’t come in your mouth.’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/653 "2020-11-03T20:01:24Z")
“A sturdy birdie with a hurdy-gurdy.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 3, 2020, 8:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/654 "2020-11-03T20:23:29Z")
“That’s what I’ve been tryin’ t’tell ya!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 5, 2020, 9:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/655 "2020-11-05T21:06:09Z")
“Really? That’s the only way I’ve ever seen them.” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2020, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/656 "2020-11-06T05:11:10Z")
“Mom’s out on the porch roof chasing squirrels”! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2020, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/657 "2020-11-06T13:05:28Z")
“Jimmy Hoffa.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2020, 11:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/658 "2020-11-06T23:13:11Z")
“Shit.” ---
**Author:** ![Crane](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crane/32/3495_2.png) [@Crane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Crane)\ **Post date:** [November 6, 2020, 11:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/659 "2020-11-06T23:56:22Z")
She was not prone to argue ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 7, 2020, 12:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/660 "2020-11-07T00:34:54Z")
“Mary Beth Whitehead’s next three kids.” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=32) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=34)