# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 35
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [November 28, 2020, 6:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/681 "2020-11-28T06:06:54Z")
“The mailman died!” 😭 ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [December 1, 2020, 10:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/682 "2020-12-01T22:18:40Z")
“We’re going to pull her up again tomorrow”! ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 2, 2020, 1:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/683 "2020-12-02T01:06:12Z")
“You would too if you had hair like that on your head!”\* \*Bowdlerized version. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2020, 10:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/684 "2020-12-12T22:29:50Z")
So my husband said, “Fuck him. Give him a dollar.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 12, 2020, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/685 "2020-12-12T23:20:54Z")
“Lounging around under the palm trees, eating their dates.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2020, 2:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/686 "2020-12-13T02:49:31Z")
“In … out! In … out!” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2020, 3:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/687 "2020-12-13T03:24:38Z")
“It is… it isn’t… it is… it isn’t…” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 13, 2020, 3:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/688 "2020-12-13T03:38:31Z")
“‘Inflate to 22 lbs.’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 4:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/689 "2020-12-17T04:29:27Z")
“Well, you see, old boy, it’s like this: When one sights the fox, one shouts ‘Tally-Ho! The fox!’ Not ‘There goes the sonuvabitch!’” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2020, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/690 "2020-12-17T05:11:37Z")
“Ha, ha! Gotcha again!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2020, 6:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/691 "2020-12-18T18:03:57Z")
“Mon, when it like _dat_, who de hell wanna go whitefishin’?!?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 24, 2020, 3:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/692 "2020-12-24T15:49:01Z")
“Target.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 5:41am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/693 "2020-12-25T05:41:13Z")
“You’re not really here for the hunting, are you?” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2020, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/694 "2020-12-25T15:47:12Z")
“It keeps their knuckles from dragging in the ground.” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2020, 12:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/695 "2020-12-26T12:42:13Z")
“He only comes once a year.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 26, 2020, 1:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/696 "2020-12-26T13:37:06Z")
“It protects them from bird droppings.”\* \*Bowdlerized version. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2020, 4:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/697 "2020-12-27T04:58:37Z")
One is thin, plastic, and dangerous for children to play with - and the other, you use to carry your groceries home. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 27, 2020, 5:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/698 "2020-12-27T05:15:12Z")
“They suffer adverse effects over 20,000 ft.”\* \*Bowdlerized version. ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2020, 3:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/699 "2020-12-30T15:01:15Z")
One is about an aging criminal facing his inevitable loss of power, and the other is a movie. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [December 30, 2020, 3:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/700 "2020-12-30T15:22:32Z")
“‘If I had married him, he’d be President.’” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=34) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=36)