# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 37
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 27, 2021, 2:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/721 "2021-01-27T14:45:23Z")
"To hit the goalie with the puck in the neck." ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2021, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/722 "2021-01-29T05:11:01Z")
“The bottle has a hole in it, and the girl doesn’t.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2021, 5:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/723 "2021-01-29T17:25:06Z")
“Soap on a rope.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2021, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/724 "2021-01-29T19:50:55Z")
‘Walk him and pitch to the rhino.’ ‘It works fine, but it keeps shoving peanuts up my ass!’ ‘Addadicktome.’ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2021, 8:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/725 "2021-01-29T20:04:01Z")
“How would _you_ like hearing 20,000 people yell ‘They’re off!’?” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [January 29, 2021, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/726 "2021-01-29T22:10:02Z")
‘Everybody!’ (That’s the punchlines to two different jokes.) ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 9:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/727 "2021-02-08T21:48:41Z")
“A black man.” “That’s him!” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 8, 2021, 9:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/728 "2021-02-08T21:53:15Z")
‘Miss Crunt!’ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 9, 2021, 12:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/729 "2021-02-09T00:31:48Z")
“El runno and el punto.” ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2021, 3:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/730 "2021-02-11T03:31:14Z")
“Tourette’s. Now go fuck yourself, you cocksucking asshole!” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2021, 7:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/731 "2021-02-11T07:51:05Z")
“That’s what grows in an Italian forest.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2021, 5:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/732 "2021-02-11T17:59:56Z")
“The Frisians ate them all.”\* \*Translated from German. “They’re both King of the Apes.”\*\* \*\*Translated from Finnish. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2021, 6:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/733 "2021-02-11T18:09:29Z")
“I’m pink; therefore, I’m Spam!” “You’re cruller blind.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [February 11, 2021, 9:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/734 "2021-02-11T21:05:17Z")
They tried to get away with the Monet but they couldn’t make the van go. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2021, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/735 "2021-02-12T03:10:43Z")
“I think that blade would come down farther if you took that knot out of the rope.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2021, 3:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/736 "2021-02-12T03:14:02Z")
> [@terentii](#): > > “I think that blade would come down farther if you took that knot out of the rope.” ‘I think you need to lube the tracks.’ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2021, 3:29am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/737 "2021-02-12T03:29:50Z")
“The third guy yells ‘FIRE!!!’” ---
**Author:** ![GaryM](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/garym/32/241_2.png) [@GaryM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GaryM)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2021, 4:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/738 "2021-02-12T04:57:14Z")
The third statistician says “We got him”! ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2021, 5:12am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/739 "2021-02-12T05:12:55Z")
They get taller. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [February 12, 2021, 5:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/740 "2021-02-12T05:34:50Z")
“That’s not him … That’s not him … This one’s not from our village … That’s not him …” [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=36) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364.md?page=38)