# A new Punch Line thread **URL:** \ **Category:** Cafe Society\ **Tags:** comedian-jokes\ **Created:** [April 8, 2020, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364 "2020-04-08T17:58:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 40
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 24, 2021, 6:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/781 "2021-04-24T18:29:47Z")
‘Yes, but the name’s Daisy!’ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2021, 2:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/782 "2021-04-25T14:44:18Z")
‘The sadist said, “No.”’ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2021, 3:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/783 "2021-04-25T15:16:17Z")
‘When the bear comes to take a pea, you kick him in the ice hole.’ ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 25, 2021, 6:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/784 "2021-04-25T18:12:32Z")
“I am _totally_ broke.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2021, 5:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/785 "2021-04-26T17:02:04Z")
“They’re afraid they might wing the wong number.” ---
**Author:** ![Philliam](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/philliam/32/3011_2.png) [@Philliam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Philliam)\ **Post date:** [April 26, 2021, 6:46pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/786 "2021-04-26T18:46:42Z")
“Not today, kid - it’s your week in the barrel” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2021, 5:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/787 "2021-04-27T05:00:38Z")
“I bet him two million dollars that I could grab the chairman of Chase Manhattan by the balls.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2021, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/788 "2021-04-27T18:13:46Z")
“A dumb, rich nymphomaniac who owns a pub.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2021, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/789 "2021-04-27T19:29:29Z")
> [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](#): > > “This is the Newton Point Lighthouse. Your call.” I thought it was the Santa Clara lighthouse? 🤔🤨 ---
**Author:** ![Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/7cd45c/32.png) [@Elendil\_s\_Heir](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elendil_s_Heir)\ **Post date:** [April 27, 2021, 8:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/790 "2021-04-27T20:21:36Z")
It can be whatever lighthouse you want. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2021, 3:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/791 "2021-04-28T15:08:22Z")
“We don’t know. We’ve never caught one.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2021, 5:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/792 "2021-04-28T17:45:39Z")
‘But not half as surprised as the Invisible Man’ and… ‘You’re a real prick when you’re drunk, Superman.’ ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2021, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/793 "2021-04-28T19:38:08Z")
“That’s okay. You can have the duck.” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2021, 8:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/794 "2021-04-28T20:39:53Z")
You’re right. The smaller he gets, the cuter he looks. ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 28, 2021, 9:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/795 "2021-04-28T21:40:26Z")
“Seven days on honeymoon make one hole weak.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 29, 2021, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/796 "2021-04-29T19:01:59Z")
“Whenever she walked, her boobs collided.” ---
**Author:** ![terentii](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/terentii/32/212_2.png) [@terentii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/terentii)\ **Post date:** [April 30, 2021, 7:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/797 "2021-04-30T19:30:46Z")
“René des à la Carte.” ---
**Author:** ![Mark\_Finn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/34f0e0/32.png) [@Mark\_Finn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mark_Finn)\ **Post date:** [May 2, 2021, 11:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/798 "2021-05-02T11:19:53Z")
“Did you ever see someone bowl 300 and lose?” ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_L.A](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/johnny_l.a/32/1084_2.png) [@Johnny\_L.A](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_L.A)\ **Post date:** [May 7, 2021, 4:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/799 "2021-05-07T16:31:52Z")
‘He should have stopped while he was a head.’ ---
**Author:** ![Johnny\_Q](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/898d66/32.png) [@Johnny\_Q](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Johnny_Q)\ **Post date:** [May 8, 2021, 7:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-new-punch-line-thread/851364/800 "2021-05-08T19:20:42Z")
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