# A one-act play chronicling my dog walk last night **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [July 10, 2013, 12:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130 "2013-07-10T12:53:39Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![BubbaDog](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bubbadog/32/333_2.png) [@BubbaDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BubbaDog)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/21 "2013-07-10T19:00:46Z")
Wait! You’re name’s Bailey and you were walking past a vacant house? Did you make a wish and throw a rock through the window? I’m guessing the half naked woman in the car was Buffalo Gal…and she came out that night. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/22 "2013-07-10T19:02:50Z")
> [@Loach](#): > > Are you pitting your dog? I pitting your dog! ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/23 "2013-07-10T19:11:27Z")
> [@Finagle](#): > > This is the part that strikes me as being somewhat classless. You’ve already said it’s past midnight. The folk in the car certainly have no reason to think they’d be offending passersby. I think the proper etiquette in this situation is to nod politely and continue on your way. When we got closer, we realized that the reason we could hear them is because the windows were open. We were all young once, so I expect people to know that the proper etiquette in a situation like this is to do the deed quietly and not use your “porn star” voice. Especially with the houses as close together as they are. > [@Bob Ducca](#): > > Wait, so is it a VACANT HOUSE or not? Because you said the lady had a key. > > Jeesh, let people have their fun. A few months ago, there was a fire at this house and it’s been vacant ever since while repairs go on. The owners (a middle-aged couple and their three small children) have given the keys over to a company to repair the house. The young woman in question definitely does not own it and it probably abusing her key privileges. There’s plenty of ways to have their fun. What happened is just kind of creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/24 "2013-07-10T19:15:35Z")
Oh, one more piece of information. The car had passed us on the road earlier during the walk. So they managed to drive to the house, park, and make the beast with two backs all within a few minutes. Methinks the lady’s theatrics were a bit… let’s go with _ **embellished** _. ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/25 "2013-07-10T19:25:56Z")
Unless they didn’t wait until they got to the driveway to, er, begin. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/26 "2013-07-10T19:47:57Z")
They would have gotten away with it too, if it wasn’t for those meddling neighbours and their dog. ---
**Author:** ![Cinnamon\_Imp](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/58956e/32.png) [@Cinnamon\_Imp](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cinnamon_Imp)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/27 "2013-07-10T19:49:05Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > It just doesn’t have the same zing if you aren’t parked in a secluded (but still quite public) area. And, ummm, it helps if you chose the vehicle for this activity rather carefully, especially if neither one of the couple is as limber as they used to be. I know what \*you \*did last summer! ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 10, 2013, 10:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/28 "2013-07-10T22:10:41Z")
“Do you mind if I cut in?” ---
**Author:** ![SmellMyWort](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ea5d25/32.png) [@SmellMyWort](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SmellMyWort)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 9:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/29 "2013-07-11T21:54:35Z")
Your wife sounds jealous. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 10:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/30 "2013-07-11T22:01:37Z")
Oh good, we’ve reached the “drooling moron” portion of any pitting. ---
**Author:** ![Loach](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/loach/32/350_2.png) [@Loach](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Loach)\ **Post date:** [July 11, 2013, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/31 "2013-07-11T22:40:39Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Oh good, we’ve reached the “drooling moron” portion of any pitting. [Yep.](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showpost.php?p=16458719&postcount=1) ---
**Author:** ![pravnik](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/8edcca/32.png) [@pravnik](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pravnik)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 1:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/32 "2013-07-12T01:30:33Z")
As a title, may I suggest _Waiting for Dog to Go_. ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 2:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/33 "2013-07-12T02:23:42Z")
> [@Justin\_Bailey](#): > > Oh good, we’ve reached the “drooling moron” portion of any pitting. C’mon, we just had a Samuel Beckett joke. ---
**Author:** ![SeaDragonTattoo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/df705f/32.png) [@SeaDragonTattoo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SeaDragonTattoo)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 3:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/34 "2013-07-12T03:54:24Z")
That’s all right. I’m just enough of a creeper who likes to make her own comedy, and I carry a flashlight in my bag. So, quietly approaching, and then saying “Whatcha doin’?” while clicking on the light, is not beyond the realm of possibilities. They might not think it’s funny, but I would giggle all the way home. ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 4:31am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/35 "2013-07-12T04:31:26Z")
> [@SeaDragonTattoo](#): > > So, quietly approaching, and then saying “Whatcha doin’?” . No no no! That is the time when you do your best deep baritone and give an “Olright, whut’s all this then!” ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 5:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/36 "2013-07-12T05:21:42Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > No no no! That is the time when you do your best deep baritone and give an “Olright, whut’s all this then!” I like this. I also thought that if you didn’t have a barking dog and happened to have a hooked prosthetic hand with you, you could very quietly hook it to one of the door handles. ---
**Author:** ![Ranger\_Jeff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ranger_jeff/32/2065_2.png) [@Ranger\_Jeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ranger_Jeff)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 5:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/37 "2013-07-12T05:25:01Z")
> [@Lynn\_Bodoni](#): > > It just doesn’t have the same zing if you aren’t parked in a secluded (but still quite public) area. And, ummm, it helps if you chose the vehicle for this activity rather carefully, especially if neither one of the couple is as limber as they used to be. Who the Hell did they think they were kidding with that “back seat” in any Camaro or Firebird made between 1970 and 1992 anyway? Probably any one after 1969, for that matter. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 7:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/38 "2013-07-12T07:16:47Z")
> [@wolfman](#): > > Which half was naked? The outside. ---
**Author:** ![Justin\_Bailey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/justin_bailey/32/8792_2.png) [@Justin\_Bailey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Justin_Bailey)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 12:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/39 "2013-07-12T12:37:08Z")
> [@Little\_Nemo](#): > > C’mon, we just had a Samuel Beckett joke. I have to admit, I wasn’t expecting that in a thread about public sex. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [July 12, 2013, 12:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130/40 "2013-07-12T12:50:03Z")
> [@bup](#): > > I hope the answer to this is a surprise - like, the left half, or the lower left quadrant and the upper right quadrant. The outside half. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-one-act-play-chronicling-my-dog-walk-last-night/663130.md?page=3)