# A Penis Question **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 13, 2009, 10:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145 "2009-12-13T22:21:31Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Jack\_Batty](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jack_batty/32/3201_2.png) [@Jack\_Batty](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jack_Batty)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 8:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/21 "2009-12-15T20:35:15Z")
It becomes a member when it pays its dues. Can I get a amen? ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/22 "2009-12-15T20:49:16Z")
Jaysus, what a rotton thread to have open when the IT guy comes by to check on the Vista upgrade. No kidding, this just happened. I feel like such a memberhead. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 10:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/23 "2009-12-15T22:19:16Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You beat me to it. > > But I’m glad you’re only a guest here. I’d hate to have a member beat ME. In Russia… ---
**Author:** ![picunurse](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/7bcc69/32.png) [@picunurse](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/picunurse)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 10:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/24 "2009-12-15T22:49:07Z")
> [@tdn](#): > > You beat me to it. > > But I’m glad you’re only a guest here. I’d hate to have a member beat ME. I was a charter member, once. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![billfish678](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/7bcc69/32.png) [@billfish678](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/billfish678)\ **Post date:** [December 15, 2009, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/25 "2009-12-15T22:56:33Z")
“I ensue, therefore I am” ---
**Author:** ![Quasimodem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/q/e274bd/32.png) [@Quasimodem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Quasimodem)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/26 "2009-12-16T01:52:23Z")
> [@jack batty](#): > > it becomes a member when it pays its dues. > > Can i get a amen? **AMEN!!!** 😉 And mine’s paid it’s dues many, _many_ times!🙂 Quasi ---
**Author:** ![Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/le_ministre_de_l_au-dela/32/12181_2.png) [@Le\_Ministre\_de\_l\_au-dela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Le_Ministre_de_l_au-dela)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 3:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/27 "2009-12-16T03:44:19Z")
It goes back to latin usage as well. From Carmina Burana - (Amatoria. Potatoria. Lusoria 136 - fol, 69b) Si puer cum puellula moraretur in cellula Felix coniunctio. Amore suscrescente, pariter e medio avulso procul tedio fit ludus ineffabilis _ **membris** _, lacertis, ladiis, si puer cum puellula moraretur in cellula, Felix coniunctio. Rough translation - If a boy and a girl are shut in a small room, Happy is their union. Love swells, and for both restraint is banished from their midst making an ineffable game come over their _ **members** _, their shoulders, their lips. If a boy and a girl are shut in a small room, Happy is their union. ---
**Author:** ![Manduck](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/manduck/32/256_2.png) [@Manduck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Manduck)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 3:59am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/28 "2009-12-16T03:59:28Z")
A penis is a warm gun. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/29 "2009-12-16T13:53:13Z")
> [@Manduck](#): > > A penis is a warm gun. So that’s what Heston is talkin about. ---
**Author:** ![BestWifeEver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/838e76/32.png) [@BestWifeEver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BestWifeEver)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 7:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/30 "2009-12-16T19:38:04Z")
> [@Quasimodem](#): > > And who thinks of goofy shit like calling a penis a “member”??? > > Q Reminds me of those trashy romance novels with the picture of Fabio on the front holding a swooning, cleavage-showing damsel: \*Randall held Christine in his strong, manly arms…\*something something… _throbbing member…something something…heaving breasts_…etc… Man I ate those up in high school… ---
**Author:** ![Irishman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/b487fb/32.png) [@Irishman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Irishman)\ **Post date:** [December 16, 2009, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/31 "2009-12-16T20:31:51Z")
It became particularly popular usage after the movie “Goldmember”, that Austin Powers flick. I had that as a clue in charades once. Since I don’t think of “member” as a standard euphamism for the “fuckstick”\*, I couldn’t solve it even with the chick emulating a giant phallus. I got “gold”… * * * \*Never heard that one before, but it is obvious. Unless you mean a dildo. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Annie-Xmas](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecc23a/32.png) [@Annie-Xmas](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Annie-Xmas)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 2:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/32 "2009-12-17T14:05:13Z")
So I guess Lorena Bobbit really “dismembered” her husband John. ---
**Author:** ![norinew](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/eb9ed0/32.png) [@norinew](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/norinew)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2009, 9:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145/33 "2009-12-17T21:08:33Z")
> [@BestWifeEver](#): > > Man I ate those up (snipped for the sake of comic effect) Duuuuuude! No wonder you’re the **Best Wife Ever**! 😃 [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-penis-question/521145.md?page=1)