# A perfected Jew **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [October 11, 2007, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375 "2007-10-11T19:36:12Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Terrifel](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/c68b51/32.png) [@Terrifel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Terrifel)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 1:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/81 "2007-10-12T01:55:04Z")
People have been talking about a perfected Jew since forever, but the engineering just isn’t there yet. The project assumes future advances in materials science that may never be met. It’s a nice concept on paper, but making it practical is a whole different story. There are some good people working on the problem, but we’re not going to see significant progress unless the market improves. It’s mostly a matter of economics. Probably the closest to perfection we’re ever likely to see was the classic 1955 Jew-- clean lines, excellent performance-- but even there you ran into trouble with overheating and stress fracture over time. Still, there are a fair number out there in excellent condition even today. Then there was Northrop-Grumman’s much-touted prototype X-Jew that came apart during field trials back in '68. What a mess that was. ---
**Author:** ![Revenant\_Threshold](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/f1d935/32.png) [@Revenant\_Threshold](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Revenant_Threshold)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/82 "2007-10-12T02:03:16Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] You wound me, sir. As a Roman Catholic, I certainly believe that the one, holy, Catholic, and apostolic Church is the best and most certain way to salvation. But I also believe in the doctrine of baptism of desire, that one who acts under the inspiration of grace, seeks to do good and know God sincerely and strive to fulfill His will as best he can, may be saved even if they know nothing of the Church or of Christ, and have not been traditionally baptized. In short, I do NOT believe it’s necessary to know Christ or be a Christian to be saved, and I repudiate any view to the contrary. [/QUOTE] If you think it’s needed that people seeks to know God and to fulfil his will, surely that implies knowing about and believing in Christ? I’m probably reading you wrongly, but this to me looks like you’re saying people don’t need to be Christian, they just have to try and believe in and follow God; seems like a good definition of Christian to me, unless your point is that you don’t consider a lack of baptism to be the big obstacle. ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/83 "2007-10-12T02:03:21Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] …one who acts under the inspiration of grace, seeks to do good and know God sincerely and strive to fulfill His will as best he can, may be saved… [/QUOTE] But what about the Jew who _had acted_ under such inspiration, who _had sought_ to do good, who _had known_ God and _had striven_ to fulfill His will? What about them? These are the souls that would be denied salvation per your law: they are – the _plu_perfected Jews. Okay, I apologize, and I’ll take the beating without posting again in this thread. But it does seem to me that the rules of religion are sometimes much like the rules of grammar: it should not _be_ so hard to make the contents of one’s heart understood. ---
**Author:** ![John\_Mace](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/john_mace/32/185_2.png) [@John\_Mace](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/John_Mace)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:08am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/84 "2007-10-12T02:08:40Z")
[QUOTE=wring] what surprised me was the target in this one. usually, she targets ‘librils’, or folks who criticize Bush (the 9/11 widows for example) or really safe targets like folks who practice Islam. even soulless bastids don’t generally like to appear as soulless bastids, attacking a main stream religion is risky. on the real plus size, I rarely start threads, but this one has had: a duplicate thread closed, an idiotic troll/sock banning, jokes, is now on it’s second page only hours after it’s birth. _::happy sigh::_ [/QUOTE] She might have been going after liberals. If you read the whole thing, she talks about her view of diversity vs what liberals think. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/85 "2007-10-12T02:37:18Z")
[QUOTE=dropzone] With all the links to Perfected Jews, I thought we could use a [Perfected Jewess.](http://images.askmen.com/galleries/actress/natalie-portman/pictures/natalie-portman-picture-6.jpg) [/QUOTE] What, this many posts and no Adam Sandler ‘Hanukkah Song’ quote yet? “That’s one Fine Lookin’ Jew…!” [QUOTE=Indistinguishable] Incidentally, what I’m still curious about is what the hell Ann Coulter was talking about with her bit about Federal Express. [/QUOTE] They’re the only men in uniform that will visit her bedroom on a regular basis? (End even they say that, in the delivery game, they’d rather see what [brown](http://assets.bloomingdales.com/img/shoppingServices/brownBag.jpg) could do for her… 😛 ) ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/86 "2007-10-12T02:45:00Z")
[QUOTE=Revenant Threshold] If you think it’s needed that people seeks to know God and to fulfil his will, surely that implies knowing about and believing in Christ? [/quote] Not at all. If you’ve never heard of Christ, to take an easy case, how could you be expected to know anything about Him? No, there’s nothing that requires knowledge of Christ in this doctrine. ---
**Author:** ![Bricker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/977dab/32.png) [@Bricker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Bricker)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 2:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/87 "2007-10-12T02:46:11Z")
[QUOTE=The King of Soup] But what about the Jew who _had acted_ under such inspiration, who _had sought_ to do good, who _had known_ God and _had striven_ to fulfill His will? What about them? [/quote] What about them? There’s nothing standing in the way of their salvation. > [@](#): > > These are the souls that would be denied salvation per your law: they are – the _plu_perfected Jews. Huh? How so? ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/88 "2007-10-12T03:10:44Z")
> [@](#): > > Originally posted by **Liberal** > How did she know you were gay? Because **Li’l Pluck** prefaces all conversations with “I’m a gay, black, jew”. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/a87d85/32.png) [@The\_King\_of\_Soup](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/The_King_of_Soup)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/89 "2007-10-12T03:13:05Z")
[QUOTE=Bricker] What about them? There’s nothing standing in the way of their salvation. Huh? How so? [/QUOTE] Hi, **Bricker**. It was a bad joke, that’s all. A grammar joke, based on the shared seeming arbitrariness of grammatical and religious rules. I thought it would be funny to combine the religious idea of perfect with the schoolmarm’s ideal of pluperfect, and apparently I was wrong. Really, really wrong. I really am sorry, because I would not stand between even a stranger and his salvation. ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:13am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/90 "2007-10-12T03:13:18Z")
[QUOTE=jtgain] Doesn’t every Christian believe this? [/QUOTE] No no no! While the New Testament does state one has to know Jesus to enter Heaven, this verb ‘to know’ in this instance is not one of understanding in the theological sense. One gets into Heaven by being a righteous person, not by acing a theology exam. The Jews have a covenant with God and that is enough to know Christ through action to one’s neighbors, which is what the ‘know’ verb in the Gospel means. The above was a Catholic interpretation, so you can go hogwild on the Fundies if you like. ---
**Author:** ![Indistinguishable](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/90ced4/32.png) [@Indistinguishable](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Indistinguishable)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/91 "2007-10-12T03:15:43Z")
[QUOTE=Autolycus] No no no! While the New Testament does state one has to know Jesus to enter Heaven, this verb ‘to know’ in this instance is not one of understanding in the theological sense. [/QUOTE] Ah, yes, the so-called Biblical sense of “know”… ---
**Author:** ![Autolycus](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@Autolycus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Autolycus)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/92 "2007-10-12T03:20:15Z")
[QUOTE=Indistinguishable] Ah, yes, the so-called Biblical sense of “know”… [/QUOTE] There are translations of the Bible into English from Koine that frequently lead to misunderstanding. For instance, “God is Love.” I’m guessing you were just joking, but I felt like clarifying my point. ---
**Author:** ![Li\_l\_Pluck](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/ee59a6/32.png) [@Li\_l\_Pluck](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Li_l_Pluck)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 3:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/93 "2007-10-12T03:51:51Z")
[QUOTE=pool] Because **Li’l Pluck** prefaces all conversations with “I’m a gay, black, jew”. 😛 [/QUOTE] LIES, I TELL YOU! All lies! But good try, sir. We have some lovely parting gifts for you at the door. 😉 Oh, and you forgot “atheist”. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![cwthree](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/9de0a6/32.png) [@cwthree](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cwthree)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/94 "2007-10-12T04:01:28Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] People have been talking about a perfected Jew since forever, but the engineering just isn’t there yet. The project assumes future advances in materials science that may never be met. It’s a nice concept on paper, but making it practical is a whole different story. There are some good people working on the problem, but we’re not going to see significant progress unless the market improves. It’s mostly a matter of economics. Probably the closest to perfection we’re ever likely to see was the classic 1955 Jew-- clean lines, excellent performance-- but even there you ran into trouble with overheating and stress fracture over time. Still, there are a fair number out there in excellent condition even today. Then there was Northrop-Grumman’s much-touted prototype X-Jew that came apart during field trials back in '68. What a mess that was. [/QUOTE] This thread has a new winner! ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:49am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/95 "2007-10-12T04:49:48Z")
[QUOTE=Terrifel] People have been talking about a perfected Jew since forever … What a mess that was. [/QUOTE] Pretty sure it was '67, not '68. Had an ad campaign all lined up, with the Beach Boys set to release a single “Little Shofar Girl”, b-sided with “Be True to Your Shul” ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 4:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/96 "2007-10-12T04:56:19Z")
[QUOTE=cwthree] This thread has a new winner! [/QUOTE] and another ---
**Author:** ![Little\_Nemo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/little_nemo/32/3120_2.png) [@Little\_Nemo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Little_Nemo)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 7:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/97 "2007-10-12T07:50:10Z")
Let’s get back on track. To update the OP, it’s not just the Jews that got critiqued by Crazy Annie this week. She also discussed women: > [@](#): > > “If we took away women’s right to vote, we’d never have to worry about another Democrat president,” Coulter told The New York Observer. “It’s kind of a pipe dream, it’s a personal fantasy of mine, but I don’t think it’s going to happen. And it is a good way of making the point that women are voting so stupidly, at least single women.”([cite](http://www.indystar.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20071009/OPINION/710090323/-1/LOCAL17)) I know, a controversial stand. But stop and think about it for a moment. Ann Coulter says single women have stupid opinions and shouldn’t be allowed to express their political views. Ann Coulter is a single woman. Ann Coulter has stupid opinions. And I think we’d all be happier (especially conservatives, who undoubtedly are having another “she said what?” moment) if Ann Coulter was legally prohibited from expressing her political views. It all holds together: like flag burning and gay marriage, this country needs a constitutional amendment outlawing Ann Coulter. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 8:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/98 "2007-10-12T08:38:53Z")
And I keep wondering about the ecology of it all. I mean, how many of these people can be supported entirely by saying nasty things about my ilk. I can think of at least ten, more like twenty, right off the top of my head. Top of the dog pile, got your O’Reilly, your Limbaugh, the delightfully equine Coulter, then your second stringers, Malkin, Beck, Hannity, Hewitt, Medfly. Reagan, all the way to the bottom feeders like Savage. And somehow, they all make a pretty good living saying the exact same shit! I mean, its not even Coors to Miller Lite, its warm pee to warm pee! ---
**Author:** ![Dead\_Badger](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/848f3c/32.png) [@Dead\_Badger](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dead_Badger)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 9:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/99 "2007-10-12T09:01:59Z")
Time for one more [stupid joke](http://img248.imageshack.us/img248/8910/perfectjewom6.jpg)? ---
**Author:** ![Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/sticks_and_scones/32/16951_2.png) [@Sticks\_and\_Scones](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sticks_and_Scones)\ **Post date:** [October 12, 2007, 9:34am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375/100 "2007-10-12T09:34:24Z")
I thought I was The Perfected Jew… Born Jewish, raised Baptist. [Insert your religious stereotype jokes here] 😃 You know, something like all the casseroles but half the guilt. Or all the guilt and half the donuts! Pass the communion plates, hold the manischevitz. Oy vey! A cheeseburger! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-perfected-jew/422375.md?page=6)