# A Petition for the Teeming Millions..... **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [August 22, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268 "2000-08-22T05:07:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Falcon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/49beb7/32.png) [@Falcon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Falcon)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/1 "2000-08-22T05:07:52Z")
As many of you know, recently our dear **Mr. Cynical** changed his name to **Portnoy**. Now, a few of us are not in favor of this change…dammit, we LIKED having him as Mr. C! Therefore, I’m starting this petition to get him to change his name back! (Not like it’ll work, but it seemed like a good idea at 1 in the morning.) Who’s with me?!?!? ---
**Author:** ![ricepad](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/b38774/32.png) [@ricepad](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ricepad)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/2 "2000-08-22T05:11:00Z")
I have to agree. **Mr. Cynical** evokes many and varied images, and implies a complex personality. **Portnoy** on the other hand, was just the groundhog in Bloom County/Outland. Yeah, yeah…I know about the Complaint and all…but when I think **Portnoy** , I think _groundhog_. ---
**Author:** ![techchick68](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ea5d25/32.png) [@techchick68](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/techchick68)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/3 "2000-08-22T05:16:39Z")
I told him in person on Saturday that I wanted him to change his name back to Mr. Cynical…SOOOOOOOOO I am signing this petition for Portnoy to return to his self as Mr. Cynical. ( you didn’t get approval from a judge so legally you are still Mr. Cynical ) hehe * * * Back to Mr. Cynical, Back to Mr. Cynical ---
**Author:** ![purrplebear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/90ced4/32.png) [@purrplebear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/purrplebear)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/4 "2000-08-22T05:17:50Z")
Here, here! I want my Mr ‘C’ back~~~! Change it back! Change it back! Change it back! Change it back! Change it back! \ ---
**Author:** ![Minxsmom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d07c76/32.png) [@Minxsmom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Minxsmom)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/5 "2000-08-22T05:30:39Z")
::holding a sign and marching around the computer:: We want Mr. Cynical! We want Mr. Cynical! Portnoy sucks! Portnoy sucks! Change it back! Change it back! We want Mr. Cynical not a freakin’ groundhog! ---
**Author:** ![Monster104](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c6cbf5/32.png) [@Monster104](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monster104)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/6 "2000-08-22T05:33:25Z")
Mr. Cynical was definitely a better name, IMHO. ---
**Author:** ![Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c77e96/32.png) [@Speaker\_for\_the\_Dead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Speaker_for_the_Dead)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/7 "2000-08-22T05:38:59Z")
I’ve decided not to be original, in this thread anyway, so I’ll just pretend this is my own: Yeah! I have to agree. **Mr. Cynical** evokes many and varied images, and implies a complex personality. **Portnoy** on the other hand, was just the groundhog in Bloom County/Outland. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DeathLlama](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/f07891/32.png) [@DeathLlama](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeathLlama)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/8 "2000-08-22T05:51:55Z")
why not “Portnoy the Cynical” or some other combination? I kind of like Portnoy, personally. ---
**Author:** ![TroubleAgain](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e480ec/32.png) [@TroubleAgain](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TroubleAgain)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 7:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/9 "2000-08-22T07:03:10Z")
Portnoy is “cute”. Mr. Cynical rocks! Consider this my vote to change it back, please. (Of course, I don’t know his reasons for changing…if I did, I might agree with him…) ---
**Author:** ![pipefitter](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/97f17d/32.png) [@pipefitter](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pipefitter)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/10 "2000-08-22T08:32:24Z")
Another vote to change it back!!! ---
**Author:** ![Anniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/cc9497/32.png) [@Anniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Anniz)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 8:47am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/11 "2000-08-22T08:47:11Z")
I don’t know why he changed it, but Mr. Cynical sounds cooler. So I vote for change it back. ---
**Author:** ![Booker57](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/b9e5f3/32.png) [@Booker57](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Booker57)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 9:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/12 "2000-08-22T09:30:11Z")
Hey Portnoy! I’ve got a complaint. When I read or hear that name all I think of is the book. And liver. Change back. ---
**Author:** ![Typo\_Negative](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/typo_negative/32/484_2.png) [@Typo\_Negative](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Typo_Negative)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 9:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/13 "2000-08-22T09:48:05Z")
…chanting… Cynical forever, Portnoy never. Cynical forever, Portnoy never. Cynical forever, Portnoy never. Cynical forever, Portnoy never. Count me in! ---
**Author:** ![fierra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/58956e/32.png) [@fierra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fierra)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/14 "2000-08-22T10:24:11Z")
change it back, it was much better before - besides, you’ve screwed up Silver\_Fire’s sig & there can be no greater evil than that! ---
**Author:** ![SwimmingRiddles](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/43a26b/32.png) [@SwimmingRiddles](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SwimmingRiddles)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/15 "2000-08-22T12:17:48Z")
Consider me signed. Sure, he has a kid, he feels the need to change. Feh. ---
**Author:** ![Mullinator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/c2a13f/32.png) [@Mullinator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Mullinator)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 12:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/16 "2000-08-22T12:38:42Z")
Oh cynicalize me. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 12:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/17 "2000-08-22T12:45:02Z")
Count me in! ---
**Author:** ![Milossarian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3ec8ea/32.png) [@Milossarian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Milossarian)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 12:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/18 "2000-08-22T12:54:53Z")
Change is bad. We fear change. Mr. Cynical. ---
**Author:** ![Jester](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jester/32/8223_2.png) [@Jester](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jester)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/19 "2000-08-22T13:29:35Z")
Well, I figure I’ll use all of the immense influence that I have on this message board :rolleyes:, and join the petition. Cynical all the way! ---
**Author:** ![Balance](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ccd318/32.png) [@Balance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Balance)\ **Post date:** [August 22, 2000, 1:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268/20 "2000-08-22T13:30:44Z")
\ It’s really simple: “Mr. Cynical” is cool; “Portnoy” evokes images of round, obnoxious rodents and makes you a target for Scylla. You figure it out. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-petition-for-the-teeming-millions/30268.md?page=2)