This is such an emotional issue that it is hard to look at ANY aspect objectively. I have been in court and heard a middle class parent basically say “I’m not taking my kid back into my home, so you better find a place for him to live” and I’ve heard a mom who openly admitted she made her living by prostitution beg to be given her child back. Both stories broke my heart, but in different ways.
A collateral family member adopted 2 children and promptly became pregnant against all odds. Fast forward a bit and the mom, particularly, is (IMHO opinion, and the opinions of many others) not treating them right. I was SERIOUSLY considering asking to take the adopted children as my own. They had been abused by their original parents and had some emotional issues. They did, however, stay with their adoptive family, who ultimately realized that they needed family counseling. Fortunately, this family had medical insurance that paid for the counseling.
One thing that might enter in here: as I understand it, bio parents can surrender a child fairly simply, but adoptive parents can’t surrender their child as easily.
TL: DR, Parenting is hard, and seems to be even harder for adoptive parents.
Here (in addition to the obvious) is what I don’t understand: How does it happen where both parents agree this is a good idea?
“So, honey…I’m just throwing this out there…what say we kill Junior and burn the house down? You don’t have to answer now, you can think about it.”
mmm
Part of me wonders if the kid was killed accidentally (maybe in an extreme attempt at disciplining?) and the house fire was hatched as a plot to cover it up?
I personally know of a case where a disabled child died of natural causes, but his foster family thought they’d done something, and covered it up, because no one had told them his condition could result in sudden death (or no one would take him). They ended up not being charged with homicide, but with a host of other things, like failure to report a death, and tampering with a body, and a bunch of other stuff that put the father in jail for several months and the mother on house arrest (and they had to pay stiff fines). They lost their other foster kids, their natural kids spent a week or so with relatives while the whole thing got straightened out. They are not permitted to be foster parents or work with children anymore (the mother has a teaching degree). So she ended up back in school.
Last I heard, she was working the system, having herself declared depressed so she could get on disability, and have Vocational Rehabilitation pay for her school. Albeit, she probably was plenty depressed after what happened.
It was weird. They never would say what exactly they thought they’d done once the ME said the kid had died because of his medical problems. They must have done something to him, though, if they honestly thought they’d killed him.