# A pill CANNOT enlarge your penis!! **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 24, 2007, 5:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273 "2007-01-24T17:43:04Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 10:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/41 "2007-01-24T22:37:55Z")
[QUOTE=Mtgman] Now we know why the T-Rex was always so cranky… [/QUOTE] Nah. Arms too short to, ah, well, you know… ---
**Author:** ![pool](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/pool/32/4152_2.png) [@pool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/pool)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 10:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/42 "2007-01-24T22:39:40Z")
On a serious note, if the pills all of these companies sell don’t work, then how the hell is that not false advertising? ---
**Author:** ![Tinkertoy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/f19dbf/32.png) [@Tinkertoy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tinkertoy)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 10:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/43 "2007-01-24T22:50:12Z")
[QUOTE=Seven] To the point, I don’t think dickless fucks are wanting such a pill. Girls already know they’re out of luck in the penis department. [/QUOTE] Fortunately their’s always some one willing to lend us one. ---
**Author:** ![sturmhauke](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e47c2d/32.png) [@sturmhauke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sturmhauke)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/44 "2007-01-24T23:00:08Z")
[QUOTE=VunderBob] I don’t know about pills, but rubbing them with toilet paper should do it. My sister rubs her ass with the stuff all the time, and you should see how much junk she has in that trunk… [/QUOTE] Dude, stop ogling your sister’s ass! :eek: Let me do it for you… 😃 ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 24, 2007, 11:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/45 "2007-01-24T23:05:12Z")
She was only a banker’s daughter, but there was a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. ---
**Author:** ![Seven](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3d9bf3/32.png) [@Seven](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Seven)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/46 "2007-01-25T00:46:18Z")
[QUOTE=Tinkertoy] Fortunately their’s always some one willing to lend us one. [/QUOTE] We like to share with those without. Some even like to share with those who already have one. ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 1:05am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/47 "2007-01-25T01:05:37Z")
[QUOTE=Antinor01] What about that pill that enlarges breasts? Don’t tell me that’s a scam too!! [/QUOTE] I don’t now about that, but apparently, [Beer does](http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21060623-13762,00.html). ---
**Author:** ![silenus](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/silenus/32/166_2.png) [@silenus](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/silenus)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 1:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/48 "2007-01-25T01:16:09Z")
[QUOTE=pool] On a serious note, if the pills all of these companies sell don’t work, then how the hell is that not false advertising? [/QUOTE] Who’s gonna file a complaint? 😃 ---
**Author:** ![threnodyangelfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/ecc23a/32.png) [@threnodyangelfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/threnodyangelfire)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 3:09am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/49 "2007-01-25T03:09:10Z")
[QUOTE=threnodyangelfire] I don’t now about that, but apparently, [Beer does](http://www.news.com.au/story/0,23599,21060623-13762,00.html). [/QUOTE] Gah. _Know_ not _now_. Durn the durn not proofreading :smack: ---
**Author:** ![DrDeth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b487fb/32.png) [@DrDeth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DrDeth)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 4:30am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/50 "2007-01-25T04:30:51Z")
Well, it can. Really. Not a lot, and most such pills are worthless, but you can get a fuller harder erection with several Prescription drugs, and if your penis is fuller and harder it’s “bigger”. Some herbal pills have some possible results is helping blood flow. But they are dangerous and overpriced. ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 5:03am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/51 "2007-01-25T05:03:54Z")
Dangerous, yeah, so I’ve heard, “immediate medical care”, and so on. But, you know, if the last 4 hours of your life are a really _great_ 4 hours, and you drop dead, that’s kinda cool. You might not know if you were coming or going, but still… ---
**Author:** ![BrainGlutton](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/82dd89/32.png) [@BrainGlutton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BrainGlutton)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 5:38am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/52 "2007-01-25T05:38:03Z")
[QUOTE=NurseCarmen] **A pill CANNOT enlarge your penis!!** [/QUOTE] Mind telling us what **would?** Being as you’re a nurse, with some medical knowledge . . . ---
**Author:** ![elucidator](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/8edcca/32.png) [@elucidator](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/elucidator)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/53 "2007-01-25T06:18:56Z")
Bicycle pump. One of those football inflating needles. Painkillers. Lots of those. ---
**Author:** ![Malacandra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/45deac/32.png) [@Malacandra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Malacandra)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 2:16pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/54 "2007-01-25T14:16:46Z")
Which is where we bring in the story about Cletus getting into a bar-room conversation with a black man about the size of their schlongs and, like, you folks have such big ones, how’s that? And the black guy says, it’s not genetic, it’s cultural. From adolescence we tie a length of string to it and attach a big weight to the other end, and eventually that stretches them. So Cletus says, like wow, I’m gonna try that! And next week Cletus is in the bar again and there is a noticeable bulge halfway down his trouser leg, as of a heavy weight tied to a piece of string, and the same black guy is in the bar and says, I see you’re giving it a try. How’s that working out for you? And Cletus says, It’s starting to work - it’s turned black already! ---
**Author:** ![Madd\_Maxx](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/5f9b8f/32.png) [@Madd\_Maxx](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Madd_Maxx)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 2:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/55 "2007-01-25T14:36:36Z")
[QUOTE=betenoir] A pill cannot make your penis bigger. But I can. Give me a call 🙂 [/QUOTE] And your number is… ---
**Author:** ![Lord\_Ashtar](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ea924/32.png) [@Lord\_Ashtar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lord_Ashtar)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 3:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/56 "2007-01-25T15:23:03Z")
[Evil Sean Connery] I’ve got to ask you about the Penis Mighter. Will it really mighty my penis, man? You’re sitting on a gold mine, Trebek! [/ESC] ---
**Author:** ![AtomicDog](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ac91a4/32.png) [@AtomicDog](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AtomicDog)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 3:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/57 "2007-01-25T15:27:25Z")
[QUOTE=Alan Smithee] I had the perfect response lined up, but then I remembered that Flintstones vitamins only come in Wilma, not Betty. ☹ [/QUOTE] Oh, I’d go out with Betty…but I’d be thinking of Wilma… ---
**Author:** ![drachillix](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/48db29/32.png) [@drachillix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drachillix)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 4:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/58 "2007-01-25T16:41:32Z")
[QUOTE=elucidator] She was only a banker’s daughter, but there was a substantial penalty for early withdrawal. [/QUOTE] I met a woman who needed a sperm bank, not a man. Unfortunately the sperm bank does not offer direct deposit. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![DirkGntly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d9b06d/32.png) [@DirkGntly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DirkGntly)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 4:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/59 "2007-01-25T16:44:35Z")
[QUOTE=drachillix] I met a woman who needed a sperm bank, not a man. Unfortunately the sperm bank does not offer direct deposit. 😃 [/QUOTE] I’m pretty sure the battery-powered electronic transfer doesn’t work so well, either. ---
**Author:** ![NurseCarmen](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/5daacb/32.png) [@NurseCarmen](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NurseCarmen)\ **Post date:** [January 25, 2007, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273/60 "2007-01-25T20:24:08Z")
[QUOTE=BrainGlutton] Mind telling us what **would?** Being as you’re a nurse, with some medical knowledge . . . [/QUOTE] Not a nurse. Not a Carmen. Not living in a Zen Arcade. Male computer geek from Minnesota actually. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-pill-cannot-enlarge-your-penis/389273.md?page=4)