# A Plea For Tolerance and Understanding **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [January 10, 2003, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694 "2003-01-10T05:45:32Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7cd45c/32.png) [@Misery\_Loves\_Co](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misery_Loves_Co)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 1:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/21 "2003-01-10T13:50:41Z")
[This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=155329) thread seems like more of the same, all the way around. The local tenor reminds me of high-school - or a bunch of dog fights: each participant going for the throat with an almost primal viciousness, often with little or no provocation. And the bullying in the **lee** thread _was_ something else. . . ---
**Author:** ![Algernon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/a183cd/32.png) [@Algernon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Algernon)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/22 "2003-01-10T13:51:45Z")
I completely concur with the OP. Perhaps I’ve been a bit naive, but reading some of these recent threads and reading immature, harsh, judgemental, assholish posts by Dopers I had previously held in high regard… well… it’s sad. ---
**Author:** ![yojimbo](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yojimbo/32/232_2.png) [@yojimbo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/yojimbo)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 1:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/23 "2003-01-10T13:52:26Z")
I have to say I enjoyed reading those threads. Maybe I’m an asshole but it always blows me away how people can get so wrapped up in this stuff. This place is better than any soap opera I have ever seen and you learn stuff evry now and then aswell. ---
**Author:** ![sailor](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a587f6/32.png) [@sailor](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sailor)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 1:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/24 "2003-01-10T13:56:48Z")
I hate it how they want to extend the Christmas season. When I was a kid it didn’t last more than two weeks and that is the only time we were expected to love and understand each other. The rest of the year we were free to hate each other’s guts. I’m a traditionalist. OTOH, I just stay away from those threads. If people enjoy being angry, that’s their Constitutional right. ---
**Author:** ![DeadlyAccurate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/ac91a4/32.png) [@DeadlyAccurate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DeadlyAccurate)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/25 "2003-01-10T14:11:35Z")
I concur with the OP, too. I’m still surprised by the lack of apologies by some of the more vicious posters in those particular threads. I posted to one of those threads, not meanly, but now I wish I hadn’t even done that. ---
**Author:** ![Jonathan\_Chance](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/jonathan_chance/32/701_2.png) [@Jonathan\_Chance](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jonathan_Chance)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/26 "2003-01-10T14:12:46Z")
\ It’s only for a week so have no fear! Be greatful that it doesn’t last all year! \ I agree with Scotti. It shouldn’t be difficult to disagree with people without popping your cork. That’s a sign of insecurity. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/27 "2003-01-10T14:15:38Z")
OK, fess up, dammit. Who else has got that fucking **Cher** song stuck in their head after merely reading the thread title? A pox on your house, **Scotticher**. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 2:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/28 "2003-01-10T14:24:13Z")
**Scotticher** I’m not sure if I can deliver on the understanding part, as I’m not that bright, but hey, I’ll give you some love baby. Anytime. ---
**Author:** ![CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/crankyasanoldman/32/11670_2.png) [@CrankyAsAnOldMan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CrankyAsAnOldMan)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/29 "2003-01-10T15:21:29Z")
Well, I think it would take an awful lot of ugliness to overcome the goodness on the boards. I’m thinking about the recent help people extended to Dopers in need. That said, I feel this place has been crankier, too. I don’t know why Dopers feel the need to lash out at another Doper. How much does such a person _truly_ affect your life? I mean really? Avoid them, ignore most of what they say, and then respond to the CONTENT only of the stuff you can’t let slide. Character assassinations, IMHO, say a lot more about the character of the one taking the aim. ---
**Author:** ![ioioio](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ioioio/32/316_2.png) [@ioioio](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ioioio)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/30 "2003-01-10T15:36:54Z")
Thank you, **Scotticher,** for opening this thread. I too have been appalled by the recent bloodfests. This spate of vitriolic personal attacks over petty matters is the SDMD at its worst. ---
**Author:** ![Eonwe](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/eonwe/32/240_2.png) [@Eonwe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eonwe)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 3:54pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/31 "2003-01-10T15:54:24Z")
Thank you **Scotti** , well said. ---
**Author:** ![scout1222](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/34f0e0/32.png) [@scout1222](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/scout1222)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 4:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/32 "2003-01-10T16:07:48Z")
Very well said. ---
**Author:** ![Judith\_Prietht](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/b19c9b/32.png) [@Judith\_Prietht](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Judith_Prietht)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/33 "2003-01-10T17:29:16Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Coldfire \* > \*\*OK, fess up, dammit. Who else has got that fucking **Cher** song stuck in their head after merely reading the thread title? > > A pox on your house, **Scotticher**. 😉 \*\* _not enough . . . love and understanding_ Happy now, **Coldfire**? ---
**Author:** ![Esprix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/esprix/32/7899_2.png) [@Esprix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Esprix)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/34 "2003-01-10T17:41:03Z")
Jeez, **Scotticher** - you are such an asshat! ( 😉 ) Esprix ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 5:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/35 "2003-01-10T17:55:58Z")
Every time I believe I couldn’t think any more highly of Scotticher, she comes along and proves me wrong. ---
**Author:** ![Beadalin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3be4f8/32.png) [@Beadalin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beadalin)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/36 "2003-01-10T18:10:33Z")
Amen. ---
**Author:** ![LurkMeister](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/3da27b/32.png) [@LurkMeister](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/LurkMeister)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/37 "2003-01-10T21:13:27Z")
I almost beat you to doing this by a few days, **Scotticher** , but I still feel like enough of a newbie that I couldn’t quite work up the nerve (besides, I doubt I would have been nearly as eloquent as you). What started me thnking about it was a post by **KellyM** in the ChiDope thread that she was no longer interested in attending this, or likely any other, ChiDope. I had been looking forward to meeting her (among others) and was wondering what had changed her mind about attending. From the phrasing of her post I suspected that it was somehow related to something that had happened on the SDMB rather than a strictly personal matter, and my curiousity was piqued to the point where I did a search of her recent posts looking for a clue. (I get like that sometimes; I’ve been known to spend an hour or more Googling and following links trying to track down some obscure fact.) Anyway, this led me to **lee** ’s thread cited above. I had read the first few posts when it had started and then stopped following it because I had little interest in the Disney/bad parent topic. Reading through it again, I was amazed and not a little stunned by the changes in topic and the viciousness of the attacks being made. Then a few days later the **jarbabyj** / **Duck Duck Goose** thread erupted and I thought “WTF is going on here? Have I wandered across into some Bizarro SDMB universe?” I couldn’t have been any more surprised if **His4Ever** had come out of the closet, or \*\*FairyChatMom had gone on a three-state killing spree. (Nothing personal about either of you, BTW, I just tried to think of the most improbable things I could and that’s what arose from my battered subconscious.) I used to have some serious anger issues myself, and I can understand getting carried away in an argument and saying things you know you’re going to regret later. And I can see how the relative anonymity of a message board can lead people to say things they would never say face to face. But before you hit the “Submit Reply” button, read over what you just typed and think, “How would I react if someone said this to me?” Believe me, there were times I wished I could have done this before I spoke. Take advantage of the opportunity to edit yourself when you have it. ---
**Author:** ![Scotticher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e9c0ed/32.png) [@Scotticher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scotticher)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/38 "2003-01-10T21:20:07Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by happyheathen \* > \*\*Ah, hell - there’s no where NEAR enough blood on the floor yet! > > Come on, folks -let’s get some decent “veins-in-my-teeth” action going! > > [sub]all this “kumbaya” crap makes me _sick_ - fuckin’ sick[/sub] \*\* Well, darlin’…in general I think highly of you, and would like to give you several hugs. But right now I don’t feel like singing “kumbaya” to YOU, either. I also don’t feel like the situation warrants ripping your guts out verbally, calling you names or hitting you in the face with a glove…prior to meeting you at dawn. You DO see the difference, don’t you? I am not asking everyone to stand around being nice. I fully understand that sometimes things being discussed are “hot button” issues that are going to cause “flame wars.” I don’t LIKE it, but I don’t get all upset and twittery about it. The two threads I linked appeared to me to be issues that could and SHOULD have been discussed without name calling, flaming and so forth. I’m not going to say they were petty matters, because I don’t think they WERE for those who were involved. BUT…they certainly weren’t threads that I think should have descended into hatefests the way they did. What bothered me about those two threads is the overwhelming flood of vitriol that ensued…in threads in which it SHOULD have been possible for people to discuss these things in a civilized manner. > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MLC \* > \*\*[This](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?threadid=155329) thread seems like more of the same, all the way around. > > \*\* You know, dear, I am not going to visit that thread. I appreciate your mentioning it, and have been told that I should have linked to THAT one as well…but I hadn’t read it. I am going to be nice to myself today and avoid it like the plague. As usual when I have started a thread, I woke up this morning and realized that I had not titled this thread correctly. I am NOT asking you all to “love” each other…I should have called for TOLERANCE and understanding. Thank you to all who have said kind things here, and in email. I appreciate the fact that I am not alone in my feelings about this. I also appreciate that not all of you agree with me, and still didn’t start throwing names and flaming me. I hope that at least I have people some “food for thought”…if you think about it and decide I am wrong, I accept that. I just thought maybe people needed to think about this. ---
**Author:** ![D\_Odds](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/d_odds/32/2882_2.png) [@D\_Odds](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/D_Odds)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/39 "2003-01-10T21:26:51Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Wang-Ka \* > I mean, come on. Show me ANY group of more than fifty people, and within one hour, I will show you the asshole within. It’s part of the group dynamic of the human race, folks… not that this excuses bad behavior or trolling or whatever, but it is GOING to happen… ‘The’ asshole, as in one? Hell, show me any group of 50 people and I’ll find 49 (none of whom are named, quite interestingly, d\_odds). Whaddaya mean the other 49 are pointing at me… 😛 ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21825_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2003, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694/40 "2003-01-10T21:35:09Z")
Thank you, **Scotti** , for saying what I, and apparently others, have been thinking. I felt dirty just scanning some of those threads. Even where I might have agreed with what had been said, I was sickened by the way it was expressed. I weep for the death of civilized discourse. I would also like to sit a few bottoms in “Time Out” for a bit of soul-searching. However, I’m opting for the “ignore it and it’ll go away” approach, seeking instead the silly, fun threads I prefer. And **LurkMeister** , regarding the three-state killing spree, my attorneys have advised me not to comment. :eek: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-plea-for-tolerance-and-understanding/147694.md?page=3)