# A Poetic Pitting of Irritating Israel-Insulters **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [June 1, 2002, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830 "2002-06-01T02:40:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/21 "2002-06-01T18:01:16Z")
Oh look! **wring** memorizes one word and all of a sudden she’s some kinda _international_… \ ---
**Author:** ![wring](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/838e76/32.png) [@wring](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wring)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/22 "2002-06-01T18:04:18Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by xenophon41 \* > \*\*\ \*\* where, of course, it’s easier to kick you… 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/23 "2002-06-01T18:10:50Z")
Hey, that’s my _forehead_ you’re kicking! Guess I’ll take summa that brie… ---
**Author:** ![xenophon41](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/xenophon41/32/253_2.png) [@xenophon41](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/xenophon41)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/24 "2002-06-01T18:15:52Z")
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**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 6:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/25 "2002-06-01T18:56:52Z")
Nice party, can I join? **Efrem stays standing, looks around carefuly, then steals most of the sliverware from the lunatic table (I left them the spoons, but they really shouldn’t have any sharp items on hand).** So, did I miss anything? **looks around again then spikes then punch of the “Liberal but not a fucking lunatic table” No reason, just had the opertunity while they were busy doing something (what’s that sound?) under the table** **Picks a seat at _Sparc_’s table close to the action and waits (Does have future plans to run away with the oldest bottle of wine and cutest female guest)** ---
**Author:** ![Sparc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Sparc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparc)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 7:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/26 "2002-06-01T19:45:58Z")
_:Sparc pours efrem a glass:_ “Salam Malekum **efrem**. You didn’t miss much, he’s only warming up with a preamble, all the confused verbal attacks in this general direction and most of ill founded gibberish is still to come.” _:Hides '46 bottle of Chateau Petrus while efrem looks around for chicks:_ ---
**Author:** ![Journeyman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/779978/32.png) [@Journeyman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Journeyman)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 8:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/27 "2002-06-01T20:07:00Z")
Mind if I join in? The Liberal but not a Fucking Lunatic table sounds right for me. \*sits down, orders a Regellitan soda (I think even the Resteraunt at the end of the Universe won’t serve alchohol to minors). ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [June 1, 2002, 8:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/28 "2002-06-01T20:50:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by wring \*Garcon! Some rootbeer, s’il vous plait! A & W on tap if you have it > > (snickering because we suspect that the use of French in the thread will remind a certain some one of a certain reporter…) **Passing the Smell Test** _Garbage_ – when it’s said in French, Doesn’t seem to have a stench. So, try debating \*en français \* Liberalism might make sense that way. ---
**Author:** ![Sparc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Sparc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparc)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 1:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/29 "2002-06-02T01:24:44Z")
_:Sparc chucks one very rotten tomato and a handful of very ripe fromage de chevre in the general direction of the stage and the specific direction of where december is standing at the microphone:_ “Come ooon old geezer! Give is better up! Sing something!” ---
**Author:** ![London\_Calling](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/49beb7/32.png) [@London\_Calling](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/London_Calling)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 1:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/30 "2002-06-02T01:52:10Z")
It’s been a while since I’ve heckled but somehow **december** rekindles the desire: Hey ! What about ‘Jersey Girl’ ??? “…Now baby won’t you come with me `Cause down the shore everything’s all right You and your baby on a Saturday night Nothing matters in this whole wide world When you’re in love with a Jersey girl…” Take it away, **december** …or better still, take him away ! 😃 ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 2:48am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/31 "2002-06-02T02:48:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by elucidator \* > \*\*\*Yet distinctly I remember, 'twas that putz, **December** > Nattering in pork couplets like a numbing posting bore > > “Tis some nabob, said I, nattering on my message board > Only this, and nothing more”\*. \*\* Had a dream; it was appalling. Outside snow was softly falling Inside, though, was London\_Calling Balling faster than before. Then there came a great debater Honored as **elucidator** Skidding like a hot potater Right across the kitchen floor. Knocking down the sacred vessel Spilling oil on the floor. Will a **Sparc** ignite the vessel? Must opponents always wrestle? Can we match the wit of **Cecil**? Quoth the Raven.“Nevermore.” ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 4:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/32 "2002-06-02T04:32:06Z")
And does Cecil rhyme with trestle? Quoth the raven, “nevermore.” ---
**Author:** ![JDM](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/90db22/32.png) [@JDM](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JDM)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 6:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/33 "2002-06-02T06:18:53Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by december \* > \*\*Skidding like a hot potater > Right across the kitchen floor. > > Knocking down the sacred vessel > Spilling oil on the floor. > > \*\* We’re in Ashcroft’s kitchen? JDM p.s.- “_upon_ the floor” would scan better ---
**Author:** ![istara](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/e79b87/32.png) [@istara](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/istara)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 11:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/34 "2002-06-02T11:33:54Z")
There once was a man called **december** Who found it quite hard to remember That Muslims and Arabs Aren’t all evil scarabs Despite the events of September And let’s take a man like **Sharon** Even threatened by suicide bomb Not all his decisions Are born out of wisdom And some are quite patently wrong And likewise if Yass **Arafat** Could just stop his endless combat He’d remove the excuse That Sharon likes to use That Jenin was just tit-for-tat ---
**Author:** ![Efrem](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/d78d45/32.png) [@Efrem](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Efrem)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/35 "2002-06-02T12:48:25Z")
_Stands up and claps_ Encore! Encore! _throws a rose on stage_ You rock **istara**! _ducks as to dodge the barage of on-coming flowers while taking another sip of wine_ ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 1:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/36 "2002-06-02T13:53:08Z")
A guy from Dubai named **Istara** Wrote poems like there was no tomorra’ …He took over first place …In the limerick race When **december** couldn’t find a last line. ☹ ---
**Author:** ![december](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/838e76/32.png) [@december](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/december)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 1:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/37 "2002-06-02T13:55:34Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by matt\_mcl \* > \*\*And does Cecil rhyme with trestle? > Quoth the raven, “nevermore.” \*\* **Matt** here in the US one hears both see-sul and seh-sul. Do you know that Mr. Adams uses the former? ---
**Author:** ![stofsky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/dfb087/32.png) [@stofsky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stofsky)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 4:55pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/38 "2002-06-02T16:55:48Z")
I saw the best minds of my generation destroyed by madness, starving hysterical naked, dragging themselves through **december** threads at dawn looking at an angry twit, angelheaded posters burning for the ancient heavenly connection to the starry dynamo of the logic of the cite, who confused and tatters and hollow-eyed and cross-eyed sat up smoking in the supernatural darkness of cold-water flats floating across the tops of cities contemplating murder Much as I’d like to do the whole thing, it’d take up 2 pages of posts. My apologies to Mr. Ginsberg who once signed my copy of _Cosmopolitan Greetings_ while remarking, “Is this a conference or a fucking autograph signing?” ---
**Author:** ![Sparc](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Sparc](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sparc)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 7:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/39 "2002-06-02T19:22:20Z")
:Sparc Raises glass to stofsky: Amen! Here’s to you and ol’ Ginsberg! ---
**Author:** ![Xavier](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/2bfe46/32.png) [@Xavier](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xavier)\ **Post date:** [June 2, 2002, 10:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830/40 "2002-06-02T22:58:41Z")
So on and on goes this most foreboding show Through hail and rain, sleet and snow Looks like **December’s** lost his touch Though **Sparc** seems to think it was never much **istara** stole the show Made **December** look like a two-bit hoe **Sparc** comes along and raises his glass And shoves it up **December’s** ass December get’s pissed Raves about Israel and **Sparc** Who claims it was all a good lark “So they get blown up” he screams and shouts “It doesn’t hurt, I really doubt” **December’s** not happy: “you’re supporting murder” **matt\_mcl** comes along and takes it further, “I do believe, your rhyme is incorrect” To which **December** does object “Here in the US” he claims “We use both pronounciations”- for shame Why can’t things be simpler? “A E I O U” - in the words of Henry Winkler **Efrem** joins the show too late Forgets this is not a great debate So he picks himself a chair And ensures he steals the silverware Looks around and hollers at **Sparc** Eyes wide open, like a shark For he’s on the prowl, for a cute female guest “wouldn’t mind” he thinks, “if she let’s me near her chest” **istara** makes his point “Not all Arabs, blow up the joint” “Not all Muslims personify evil” “Take a look at Sharon, he’s hardly regal” Along comes **stofsky** , he seems distraught I don’t understand His exact thought It seems a bit confusing My mind is just refusing To take in what he has said Whatever it was, I’ll bet B]December\*\* see’s red Alas, I think it is a pity Considering I thought he was someone pretty No really, I mean it - I knew not he was a man Upon first impression, I was an awestruck fan Thinking of a distant red-haired beauty Who reminded me of my duty To give to her a kiss to remember I can barely recall her name: Holy shit, it was December! [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poetic-pitting-of-irritating-israel-insulters/111830.md?page=3)