# A polite person vents **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [August 17, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738 "2001-08-17T15:09:11Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 3:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/1 "2001-08-17T15:09:11Z")
I am, fundamentally, a nice guy. At least I believe I am, and others have said so too. I use “please” and “thank you”. I hold doors open for people regardless of gender, age or physical condition. I try to take into consideration other people’s views, and to interact with them in a constructive and helpful manner. That’s just the kind of guy I am. So please believe me when I say this: \*\* I Have Had E Nough. \*\* You people really piss me off. You know who you are. The ones who throw cigarette butts and litter wherever you please, making the street look like a complete dump, and then claim “Hey, I’m keeping someone in a job.” I’m sure the trashpickers of the world thank you. No, really. The customer service people who act as if I’m bothering them by asking them (very politely, mind you) to do the job they’re getting paid for. Don’t like your salary/work conditions? I sympathize, really I do, but it’s not my fault. Don’t take it out on me. The fake beggars (especially the mother-and-child acts), pickpockets, perverts, and muggers who infest the streets and transport system. It’s not your money, you’re not entitled to it, and you’re making people into hard, insensitive, paranoid zombies who are afraid to interact with their fellow human beings lest they get attacked or harassed. Get a real job, and stop ruining people’s lives. Now. The banks and oil companies and various other large corporations who claim that a) the various changes they’ve made are for my convenience rather than for the blindingly obvious financial gains they will bring the company [sub]and yes, Nat West, that means you too – “trendy wine bar”, my spotty white ass[/sub]; or b) gosh, they’d love to lower their prices but they can’t because the cost of crude oil/coffee beans/taxation/whatever is too high right now, and gosh, we don’t know where those billions in profits came from. You lying sacks of fetid monkey dung. Just admit that you’re greedy bastards, for chrissake – it would save so much effort on everyone’s part. All you people who take pleasure in intimidating, bullying, terrorizing others because the only way you can feel good about yourself is by putting other people down. Here’s a clue, you pignippled dickweeds: you’re still an insignificant pile of shit, but now you’re a BULLYING insignificant pile of shit. That must make you so proud. To all you blinkered, inconsiderate assweasels who spend your useless little lives without a single thought that maybe you’re fucking up the world for the rest of us in your pursuit of whatever it is you get off on, and to the rest of you: the people who think that God is a petty tyrant who speaks only to them; the people who hurt other people just because they can; those who prey on the innocent, the weak, and the trusting; the selfish and the greedy; the violent and hateful; and every single fucking one of you complete wastes of human skin for whom I have nothing but sheer unmitigated contempt. Guess what: the world doesn’t revolve around you. There are other people here who make a conscious effort not to piss off their fellow human beings. It’s not that hard, honest. But nooooo, that’s too much trouble for you lot. Every one of you makes me want to ram a shrimp fork up your left nostril until it comes out the top of your pointy little head, really you do. And remember: I’m saying this as a _nice_ person. Goddamn you all, you cockroach-humping motherfelching twatsniffing pubesuckers! Someone should grind your face into the ground and force you to lick up that stinking trail of rancid shit you’ve left in your wake your entire life. Look at it. _Look it at, goddamn you!_ This is your life. This is all you’ve contributed to the world, all you’ll be remembered for. And well done too. And so, in conclusion, I say this: This is not your personal dungheap for you to add more crap to. This is MY planet. GET THE FUCK OFF IT! **NOW!** [sub]Thank you for your kind attention.[/sub] ---
**Author:** ![dropzone](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/dropzone/32/7515_2.png) [@dropzone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dropzone)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/2 "2001-08-17T15:19:22Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > **This is MY planet. GET THE FUCK OFF IT! NOW!** So, it’s all about YOU, isn’t it? ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 3:26pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/3 "2001-08-17T15:26:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by dropzone \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > > **This is MY planet. GET THE FUCK OFF IT! NOW!** > > So, it’s all about YOU, isn’t it? \*\* For the duration of the rant, yes. ---
**Author:** ![Waverly](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/57b2e6/32.png) [@Waverly](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Waverly)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 3:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/4 "2001-08-17T15:32:44Z")
> [@](#): > > This is MY planet That is quite a plethora of pet peeves. I agree with most of them. As Pan-Gaian Planatary Dictator, I encourage you to remove these people post haste. ---
**Author:** ![Cheesesteak](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cheesesteak/32/3694_2.png) [@Cheesesteak](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cheesesteak)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 3:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/5 "2001-08-17T15:43:55Z")
Ok, lets see: litterers… check customer service… check greedy corporations… check bullys… check Ok, we got the topics well covered now for the terminology: pignippled dickweeds… check assweasels… check twatsniffing pubesuckers… check and for the dismount: Thank you for your kind attention… check Very nice, you get a 10! Step right over here to receive your fabulous prize… ---
**Author:** ![Abe\_Babe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/3ab097/32.png) [@Abe\_Babe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Abe_Babe)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 3:47pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/6 "2001-08-17T15:47:07Z")
Excellent rant (or was that egg salad rant?) The thing that bugs me is the cigarette butts. Smokers who stamp them out on the sidewalk, toss them out of car windows, etc. don’t even seem to think that it’s littering. Sure it’s small, but IT’S FUCKING LITTERING!!! It’s only a matter of degree between that and tossing your McDonald’s wrappers out of your car window. PICK THE FUCKING THINGS UP!!! Gaaa, my four year old knows not to do that. Goodby and thank your for your support. ---
**Author:** ![matt\_mcl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/7ab992/32.png) [@matt\_mcl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/matt_mcl)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 4:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/7 "2001-08-17T16:22:22Z")
As a service person (polite, BTW, even last night when I went off my rocker after exceeding the recommended monthly allowance of days in a row without a break and started fantasizing I was Laura Secord frantically making ice cream to defend York from the hated Americans), let me just say that litter has reduced me to tears. YOU ARE NOT KEEPING ME IN A JOB BY LITTERING, COCKFLANGE. My job is to make ice cream, prepare novelties, help the cashiers, and keep the restaurant clean, all of which would be made easier if YOUR LITTERING ASS would walk the ONE METRE to our BIG HAPPY TRASH BINS and deposit your OWN FUCKING TRASH INTO IT. That, believe it or not, is why we put the trash bins in the restaurant area, instead of keeping them in the back, as restaurants that employ **actual buspeople** do. _Our restaurant is not your personal dump!_ OOoh, and my FAVOURITE is when they build the trash into neat little piles and leave it on the table or (better yet) on the GROUND. This shows they put _thought_, even _premeditation_ into BEING LAZY FUCKING SLOBS! ---
**Author:** ![tevya](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/4491bb/32.png) [@tevya](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tevya)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 5:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/8 "2001-08-17T17:17:45Z")
I’d just like to say that I loved you in **Falling Down**. ---
**Author:** ![Hamlet](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/hamlet/32/2818_2.png) [@Hamlet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hamlet)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 6:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/9 "2001-08-17T18:41:13Z")
Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe to your newsletter. ---
**Author:** ![Elenfair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/cc9497/32.png) [@Elenfair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elenfair)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 7:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/10 "2001-08-17T19:09:41Z")
ANYBODY who quotes Sluggy Freelance in their sig deserves my undyin’ support, affection, and Happy Fun Squad attention. ::: sending in the cake and the dancing girls ::: 😃 Elly ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 8:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/11 "2001-08-17T20:49:04Z")
Up here near Calgary a farmer lost $50,000 worth of his crop because some genius threw a cigarette out the window of their car. They have some serious karmic camel dung coming there way, if I’m not mistaken… ---
**Author:** ![alice\_in\_wonderland](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/alice_in_wonderland/32/176_2.png) [@alice\_in\_wonderland](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/alice_in_wonderland)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 8:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/12 "2001-08-17T20:51:07Z")
The crop was burned, BTW. ---
**Author:** ![Chas.E](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e99b99/32.png) [@Chas.E](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chas.E)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 9:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/13 "2001-08-17T21:03:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by alice\_in\_wonderland \* > \*\*The crop was burned, BTW. \*\* What was this inflammable crop, tobacco? BTW, every time I hear something like this, I cannot help but recall a video clip I saw on the national news after some major flood. A farmer comes on and says “the flood wiped out my entire crop of beets, okra, and brussel sprouts!” And the children rejoiced. ---
**Author:** ![Ross](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e274bd/32.png) [@Ross](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ross)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 9:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/14 "2001-08-17T21:35:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by jr8 \* > \*\*This is MY planet. GET THE FUCK OFF IT! **NOW!** I’m with you, dude. I knew I’d find my people one day. Lead on. I will follow. ---
**Author:** ![caircair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/91b2a8/32.png) [@caircair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/caircair)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 11:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/15 "2001-08-17T23:00:23Z")
May I add another group to the list? The _awkkch-schput!_ of spitters makes me want to hurl. Hearing it is bad enough, having someone do it in front of me is worse. I don’t feel like walking in your spittle, thank you very much! It’s unsanitary, disgusting, and gross. ---
**Author:** ![Coldfire](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/a587f6/32.png) [@Coldfire](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Coldfire)\ **Post date:** [August 17, 2001, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/16 "2001-08-17T23:59:09Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by tevya \* > \*\*I’d just like to say that I loved you in **Falling Down**. \*\* You stole my line, dammit. _cue Iron Maiden, Man on the Edge…_ ---
**Author:** ![Rilchiam](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/2bfe46/32.png) [@Rilchiam](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rilchiam)\ **Post date:** [August 19, 2001, 6:25am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/17 "2001-08-19T06:25:21Z")
I will walk fifty yards to put a cigarette butt in the trash rather than drop it on the ground. ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 12:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/18 "2001-08-20T12:01:32Z")
Wow…cakes, dancing girls, and a perfect 10 rant rating. You guys are great! > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by tevya:_ > I’d just like to say that I loved you in Falling Down. Nonsense – I’d look silly with that sort of haircut. And I’m not sure they’d let me take a bazooka on the train with me. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Hamlet:_ > Your ideas intrigue me and I would like to subscribe > to your newsletter. Don’t **even** tempt me… > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Ross:_ > I’m with you, dude. I knew I’d find my people one day. > Lead on. I will follow. Wait a minute – I was following _you_. No wonder we’re going in circles. > [@](#): > > _Originally posted by Rilchiam:_ > I will walk fifty yards to put a cigarette butt in the trash rather than drop it on the ground. I thank you, and the trashpickers thank you. I’m not so sure about the people who put out trash can fires, but hey, you can’t please everyone. [sub] _cue Dorothy Parker_ If I had a shiny gun I could have a world of fun Speeding bullets through the brains Of the folk who give me pains… [/sub] ---
**Author:** ![Francesca](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/9fc348/32.png) [@Francesca](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Francesca)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 1:07pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/19 "2001-08-20T13:07:10Z")
I’d just like to add that I can vouch that **jr8** really _is_ a nice beardy guy. Excellent rant. ---
**Author:** ![TwistofFate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/cdc98d/32.png) [@TwistofFate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TwistofFate)\ **Post date:** [August 20, 2001, 1:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738/20 "2001-08-20T13:32:49Z")
> [@](#): > > So please believe me when I say this: > > I > > Have > > Had > > E > > Nough. Attention **Kicker**. Someone is a little cranky this morning. Some Horlicks and a quiet pipe to smoke\* is recommended for when he gets home from work. Or just a subscription to Valium. [aside] hi Fran!![/asode] \*[sub] alternatively, just a pipe to put in his mouth while he puts his feet up by the fire.[/sub] [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-polite-person-vents/76738.md?page=2)