# A poll and general discussion about interracial relationships **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353 "2010-03-30T18:13:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 10
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/181 "2010-04-13T02:40:05Z")
> [@raindog](#): > > Using that tortured logic, MOL’s preference for “swarthiness” can only be seen as rank racism and shouldn’t be tolerated around here. 😉 (redundant ;)) > > The fact is, I have no evidence of MOL’s racism (other than her dating preferences…) and she was used simply as a prop. (which she handled quite well…) > > I’m sure that she would make a _fine_ racist, should she ever wish to be one. I’d be the finest racist this state has ever seen! Look, I can get preferring physical appearance of this coloring over that. I’ve professed my highly racist slight preference for dark skin and hair. But to pronounce inability to be attracted to such and such race because of it is silly. 1) Really? So no one who has blonde hair is so cute to you that your ordinary preferences can’t set overridden? Seriously now? 2) The coloring and facial features of Race Q vary greatly, so I find it hard to get comfortable dismissing Q wholly upon physical appearance alone. Unless… unless it’s not about physical appearance at all! ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/182 "2010-04-13T02:52:51Z")
I hate black people for their _personalities_. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/183 "2010-04-13T03:22:26Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I hate black people for their _personalities_. Goddamn, me too! ---
**Author:** ![rhubarbarin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/eb9ed0/32.png) [@rhubarbarin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/rhubarbarin)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:32am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/184 "2010-04-13T03:32:49Z")
I honestly do feel that I could never be physically attracted enough to a man with blond or red hair and pale skin (particularly with freckles or a pink tone) that I would be able to have any sort of sexual relationship with said individual. It’s certainly never happened before. I can appreciate that a guy with blond hair and light skin is attractive, but they are like femme women to me: pretty, good to look at, might have many attractive characteristics, but no spark that would ever make me want to touch them. I like men with dark hair, darker skin and preferably facial features that aren’t stereotypically Caucasian, and boyish/androgenous women. I guess I am shallower than most. Of course personality matters a great deal to me, but looks come first - this is why I didn’t date very much. When I was still looking (I have been in a serious relationship for 5 years) I think I had the luxury of being picky because I am pretty good-looking. So I’ve never had to go outside my comfort zone. I don’t think excluding some people as potential sexual partners because they have one or more physical characteristics usually found in one racial or ethnic group is racist… necessarily. ---
**Author:** ![Chicagojeff](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/b19c9b/32.png) [@Chicagojeff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chicagojeff)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 4:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/185 "2010-04-13T04:01:39Z")
Wow… i answered other… currently in a relationship with a white lady… I’m black by the way… or I could go old school and say “colored”… I did get flack from my ex-wife who is black. But then again i probably would have gotten flack if it was one of those green ladies Capt Kirk hooks up with. The issue about the families kind of amazes me… even today? Wow… The only thing my dad ever said to me and my brother was that if you date/marry a white girl understand that at some point and time… society is going to throw you a big ol middle finger. So man up and expect it. I know we are generalizing in this thread… sometimes white women who date black men expect a certain type of brother. Face it… i prefer Led Zeppelin to Little John and my cultural influences had my friends on the south side of Chicago laughing their ass off… (imagine a skinny dark skin kid wearing a “choose life” sweatshirt…) I see waayyy more interracial couples here in Atlanta than years before. When i visited Minnesota and Seattle as a younger guy i was like… WHOAA WTF?? Chicago… except for Hyde park on the south side and Lincoln park and Evanston on the North weren’t exactly hot beds of diversity. So glad to see the discussion is about much more than black and white. I remember my best friend in undergrad (he’s japanese) bitching about not getting any love from other asian females. At that point i was kind of shocked. Here to this point I’d only considered the black and white of the thing… never the other races… nor religion. It would be fun if one could concoct a way people could meet and talk and never view one another until the very end… then at that point it would hit you right between the eyes… Also… as for the previous issue about Black women… I have no clue why sisters won’t venture out more. I think Mean ol lady has a valid point. But seriously… i’m down for the cause and have put in much work. At this age and stage I won’t be guilted… I’m in love and if you don’t like it… well… ---
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 8:58am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/186 "2010-04-13T08:58:25Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > I hate black people for their _personalities_. That reminds me of [this news story](http://www.theonion.com/video/man-attempts-to-assassinate-obama-but-not-because,17220/). ---
**Author:** ![AClockworkMelon](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/aclockworkmelon/32/10803_2.png) [@AClockworkMelon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AClockworkMelon)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 9:07am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/187 "2010-04-13T09:07:43Z")
Girls that I’ve _dated_? First girl I dated was white, like myself. Second was an American Indian. Third was half-Costa Rican, half-white. Fourth was white. I live in an area where whites are the minority. The three main friends that I hang out with: One is half-white, half-Hispanic. One is half-white, half-black. One is Hispanic. To be honest, I’m surprised that I’ve dated any white girls at all, given the mix. But then again, most of the Hispanic girls around here are interested in the tattooed, shaved-head gangbangers. And don’t get on me for calling them gangbangers. A lot of them are my friends and they are, indeed, gangbangers. It’s part of the culture for these guys where I live. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 10:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/188 "2010-04-13T10:24:20Z")
I took the first option, and I wanted to explain a bit, because it makes me look bad to say I would only date within my own race. I picked that option mainly because the only guys that I seem to be physically attracted to have blue eyes. I don’t think I’ve ever dated anyone without blue eyes, and I haven’t been all that much of a wallflower. That kind of limits my dating pool to white people. It’s definitely not a deliberate decision on my part, and I have never actually looked at someone and though, brown eyes, bleh. It’s just that there’s no attraction on my part. I’m happily married and will hopefully never date again, because I’ve found the blue-eyed guy for me 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/189 "2010-04-13T14:23:45Z")
Well, what about a black guy with blue contacts? ---
**Author:** ![Asimovian](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asimovian/32/172_2.png) [@Asimovian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Asimovian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/190 "2010-04-13T14:33:43Z")
> [@Gyrate](#): > > That reminds me of [this news story](http://www.theonion.com/video/man-attempts-to-assassinate-obama-but-not-because,17220/). That made my morning; thank you. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 2:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/191 "2010-04-13T14:51:20Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > Well, what about a black guy with blue contacts? Creepy. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/192 "2010-04-13T15:30:17Z")
Though presumably not as creepy as [a blue man with black contacts.](http://www.concertshots.com/Aug%2003%20Images/cs-BlueManGroup4-Atlanta82303.JPG) ---
**Author:** ![Electric\_Sky](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/9de0a6/32.png) [@Electric\_Sky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Electric_Sky)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 3:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/193 "2010-04-13T15:38:52Z")
> [@Asimovian](#): > > - Is race ever a factor for you with regard to your dating choices? > - Do other interracial couples you run across grab your attention more than a same-race couple? If so, why? > - Would you be turned off, unaffected, or complimented if someone new you were dating told you that they were mainly/only interested in dating people of your race? - No. Culture is, but not race. - Not really. - Frankly, I’d be a bit boggled. _Is_ there someone out there only dating mixed race but whiteish-looking Jews? If someone thought I was white and told me they’d only date white people, I’d probably enjoy my “gotcha” moment before dumping them, though. 😛 ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 4:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/194 "2010-04-13T16:33:55Z")
Blue contacts don’t count at all, in fact they look hideously unattractive. My brother has green eyes but wants blue, so occasionally he’ll wear them, so I know how ugly they are. Yuck. Might as well be wearing those red cats eye lenses. ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 4:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/195 "2010-04-13T16:39:44Z")
Here’s a good idea of how ugly they are (I don’t know who this guy is btw): [![](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3261/2716143841_38c0da5517.jpg?v=1220185610) ](https://farm4.static.flickr.com/3261/2716143841_38c0da5517.jpg?v=1220185610) ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 4:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/196 "2010-04-13T16:51:36Z")
I picked : “I’ve both dated and had sex with someone of another race (but we didn’t marry).” However, the problem with that option is that it doesn’t say whether you would or would not marry someone of another race. Those relationships simply didn’t work out for me, race was not a factor in why the relationships didn’t work out. ---
**Author:** ![Shot\_From\_Guns](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/ccd318/32.png) [@Shot\_From\_Guns](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shot_From_Guns)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 5:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/197 "2010-04-13T17:05:30Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > Here’s a good idea of how ugly they are (I don’t know who this guy is btw): > > [http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3261/2716143841\_38c0da5517.jpg?v=1220185610](http://farm4.static.flickr.com/3261/2716143841_38c0da5517.jpg?v=1220185610) One of my coworkers has blue eyes that are naturally somewhat similar to that color. One day, I’m not sure why, but they were almost exactly that shade of blue, and it creeped the hell out of me. ---
**Author:** ![Skammer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/skammer/32/143_2.png) [@Skammer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Skammer)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 6:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/198 "2010-04-13T18:30:40Z")
Oh! I just remembered! I voted “Never, but I wouldn’t mind.” But I just remembered that in high school I had a big crush on a friend of mine who was Japanese-American. The timing was never right, though, and one of us was always dating someone else when the other one was free. Plus I was never sure if she liked me “that” way. Until we met up at our 5-year reunion and she confessed that she had always wanted me to ask her out. So I did, we went out twice while I was in town, and made out on her couch. Then I flew back home. So anyway I probably should have voted “dated/no sex.” ---
**Author:** ![Elysian](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/c77e96/32.png) [@Elysian](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Elysian)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/199 "2010-04-13T19:14:12Z")
It’s not the shade of blue that bothers me, it’s the defined edge between the iris and pupil, and the shallowness of the colour, since it lays on top of the cornea. It’s like they’ve painted the colour directly on top of their eyes. _shudder_ ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/200 "2010-04-13T19:29:12Z")
> [@rhubarbarin](#): > > I honestly do feel that I could never be physically attracted enough to a man with blond or red hair and pale skin (particularly with freckles or a pink tone) that I would be able to have any sort of sexual relationship with said individual. It’s certainly never happened before. By the way, I find this interesting. Just when I was tempted to start furiously scouring the planet for examples of exceptions, you said you can recognize that a blonde/red person is objectively (as objective as it’s going to get with looks, anyway) is attractive, but you can’t bring yourself to feel the magic, which I found even more interesting. > [@](#): > > I don’t think excluding some people as potential sexual partners because they have one or more physical characteristics usually found in one racial or ethnic group is racist… necessarily. No, not necessarily, but in most cases. What I think really boils down to even if you do have a preference for thing X, surely there are exceptions. And besides, even if race Q doesn’t usually have X characteristic(s), some people in race Q do, so why say, summarily, I don’t/won’t date Q? But I’m just repeating myself now. I’ve said this already. Back to the creepiness of colored contact lenses. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353.md?page=9) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353.md?page=11)