# A poll and general discussion about interracial relationships **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [March 30, 2010, 6:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353 "2010-03-30T18:13:19Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 8\ **Page:** 11
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/201 "2010-04-13T19:41:56Z")
Oh, and **rhub** , that question wasn’t directed at you. I’m usually working on the assumption that there either are exceptions. For some, apparently, there are not. Makes me wonder what’s up with that, but hey, whatever. What _really_ makes me think some racism is afoot, rather than have a mild suspicion that could potentially be explained away pretty easily, is when people say they won’t date someone of race Q, even when the person has traits X, Y and Z which the person finds desirable. Oh, you won’t? \*Now \*what’s the problem? :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@Swallowed\_My\_Cellphone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Swallowed_My_Cellphone)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 7:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/202 "2010-04-13T19:49:22Z")
> [@Elysian](#): > > It’s not the shade of blue that bothers me, it’s the defined edge between the iris and pupil, and the shallowness of the colour, since it lays on top of the cornea. It’s like they’ve painted the colour directly on top of their eyes. _shudder_ I found Brandon Routh’s eyes quite distracting when he played Superman for that very reason. In some camera shots he just looked like Eerie-Contacts-Boy. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/203 "2010-04-13T20:45:13Z")
> [@MeanOldLady](#): > > What _really_ makes me think some racism is afoot, rather than have a mild suspicion that could potentially be explained away pretty easily, is when people say they won’t date someone of race Q, even when the person has traits X, Y and Z which the person finds desirable. Oh, you won’t? \*Now \*what’s the problem? :dubious: For at least one person in this thread, it was “my family will have a shit fit and/or murder my darkie boyfriend and I don’t want to deal with that”. ---
**Author:** ![lindsaybluth](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/90db22/32.png) [@lindsaybluth](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lindsaybluth)\ **Post date:** [April 13, 2010, 9:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/204 "2010-04-13T21:23:02Z")
> [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](#): > > For at least one person in this thread, it was “my family will have a shit fit and/or murder my darkie boyfriend and I don’t want to deal with that”. My parents went against their parents’ wishes and married outside their race/religion/culture. They were fully aware that they would have a strained relationship with their families from that point on. It’s pretty hard to say “fuck you” to your family, knowing you sink everything you have in the world with the person you’re marrying. Lucky for me, when I came along a year after they were married (5 years after they’d gotten engaged), a cloud was seemingly lifted. All was right in the world, now that a grandchild had come along. I can’t say I’d fault people for it, though, even as the product of an interracial marriage. It’s easier to condemn them for not wanting to deal with it, but it’s not a small undertaking. I had _no_ idea all of my grandparents hated my parents’ marriage and didn’t attend their wedding until I was in high school. (In line with this thread, my grandfathers were only slightly miffed at the coupling while my grandmothers were stricken). My grandparents showered me with love, and there’s no way I would have suspected it, but it’s lucky for me that it turned out that way. It could have easily continued down the estrangement road. ---
**Author:** ![Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/e8c25b/32.png) [@Really\_Not\_All\_That\_Bright](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Really_Not_All_That_Bright)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 12:06am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/205 "2010-04-14T00:06:36Z")
I’m not passing a value judgment. I’m just pointing out that it was the rationale somebody mentioned. I’ve posted here before about my last LTR before meeting my soon-to-be-wife; her father was a preacher from Arkansas and he and her mother were… rather traditional. She drove to Florida and duped my roommate into letting her into my apartment so she could search my room. “I saw that book. _The Satanic Verses_! You’re a follower of _Satan_!” I would have had to think long and hard about marrying her, even though we were hopelessly in love. ---
**Author:** ![MeanOldLady](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/meanoldlady/32/10737_2.png) [@MeanOldLady](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MeanOldLady)\ **Post date:** [April 14, 2010, 3:37am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/206 "2010-04-14T03:37:12Z")
I was commenting on the physical attraction thing. If you don’t want to deal with the shitstorm your family would start if you dated race Q, I can see why you’d avoid it. I’d rather you not, but I’d be a hypocrite to the nth degree if I said you were wrong or bad for avoiding the storm, rather than fighting the good fight. Seriously, my parents don’t even know I don’t believe in god(s), and I haven’t for almost 20 years. I will fight anyone on anything if I believe I am right, and if I think it’s worth the trouble, but for whatever reason, I’ll simply appease my family. It’s worth the trouble, but I’d rather they be happy. Fuck me running, I’m not the badass I’d like to be. Sometimes your lofty ideas don’t work perfectly in the real world. Re: the looks thing. Yeah, all that shit I said earlier. ---
**Author:** ![SomeBodyUK](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9d8465/32.png) [@SomeBodyUK](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SomeBodyUK)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 4:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/207 "2010-08-10T16:34:50Z")
> [@Anaamika](#): > > I am currently in a racial combo I almost never see - Indian and Chinese. Sometimes I joke that if we ever find a couple with an Indian man and a Chinese woman we’ll be BFFs forever. 🙂 I’m 34, if you need to know that. I have a friend in UK with an Indian dad and a Chinese mother…The combo is rare in the US, but it’s very common in Singapore. The kids are known as “Chindians”! ---
**Author:** ![Dangerosa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/22d042/32.png) [@Dangerosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Dangerosa)\ **Post date:** [August 10, 2010, 5:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353/208 "2010-08-10T17:00:00Z")
I’ve dated interracially. I am at this point the white mom of an Asian kid - brown on the outside, white on the inside - except a lot of his friends are Asian - I think he gets a lot more Asian culture than we know about. Its a different sort of “interracial relationship” but its still an interracial relationship. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-and-general-discussion-about-interracial-relationships/534353.md?page=10)