# A Poll for Married Dopers **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [August 4, 2008, 10:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851 "2008-08-04T22:52:34Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![What\_Exit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/what_exit/32/10652_2.png) [@What\_Exit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/What_Exit)\ **Post date:** [August 5, 2008, 8:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/81 "2008-08-05T20:00:06Z")
[QUOTE=Asimovian] Does she like baseball, at least? And if so, is she a Red Sox fan? šŸ˜‰ [/QUOTE] She tolerates baseball and lightly roots for the Yanks, she hates football. I have to put up with being dragged to Disney every other year, so that evens out with the baseball games. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 1:35am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/82 "2008-08-06T01:35:06Z")
Gay, almost 21 years. 62 and 45. He would say A. I would say A minus. Not that my commitment is less, but my insecurity is more. Heā€™s extremely charismatic, hot, and younger. Everybody (male and female) flirts with him, and he flirts back; itā€™s just the way he is. We have discussed this at length over the years. I accept his flirting, and he accepts my insecurity. ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/83 "2008-08-06T02:01:52Z")
[QUOTE=mnemosyne] Somewhere between A and B, but for it to be B, as another poster said, one of us/life would have to change drastically. [/QUOTE] More or less the same for me. With the exception of infidelity, persistent vegetative states and a severe change of a similar nature, weā€™d stick it out together. Weā€™ve been through some rough financial times together, and it hasnā€™t caused the relationship to sink. 99% A. Iā€™m in a hetero relationship, am 25, heā€™s 28, and weā€™ve been together for over five years and are getting married next year. ---
**Author:** ![Suburban\_Plankton](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/suburban_plankton/32/219_2.png) [@Suburban\_Plankton](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Suburban_Plankton)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 2:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/84 "2008-08-06T02:56:44Z")
A. Without a doubt. We wouldnā€™t have agreed to ā€œ'til death do us partā€ if there was any question on the matter. ---
**Author:** ![Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walker\_in\_Eternity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walker_in_Eternity)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 8:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/85 "2008-08-06T08:18:55Z")
B, married for 9 years, together for twelve, two daughters. I only picked B because you can never predict the future. Iā€™d like to think A is possible. ---
**Author:** ![AngelicGemma](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/439d5e/32.png) [@AngelicGemma](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AngelicGemma)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 10:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/86 "2008-08-06T10:40:05Z")
B Weā€™re both 23. Together for over 5 years and married for 3 months. ---
**Author:** ![monavis](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e0b2c6/32.png) [@monavis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/monavis)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 12:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/87 "2008-08-06T12:00:53Z")
Was married 57 years ago in June. (Hetro) longer than a lot of dopers were on earth. Monavis ---
**Author:** ![PunditLisa](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/4af34b/32.png) [@PunditLisa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/PunditLisa)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 12:13pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/88 "2008-08-06T12:13:13Z")
A Weā€™re like peas and carrots. Both of us are 42. Hetero. Married 19 years, together 22 years, 2 kids and a dog ---
**Author:** ![Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/a88e4f/32.png) [@Eleanor\_of\_Aquitaine](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Eleanor_of_Aquitaine)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 1:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/89 "2008-08-06T13:36:35Z")
Close to an A. I canā€™t imagine either of us getting along so well with anybody else. Weā€™ve been married almost 15 years, two kids. ---
**Author:** ![Lanzy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/74df32/32.png) [@Lanzy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lanzy)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 1:51pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/90 "2008-08-06T13:51:41Z")
AAAAAAAAAA 37 years together! ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 2:12pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/91 "2008-08-06T14:12:46Z")
I guess I would go with A-, because of stuff like Alzheimerā€™s. Chronic vegetative states are more like ā€œdeathā€. Male, hetero. Iā€™m 52, she - isnā€™t. Married 26 years. Our motto for marriage > [@Jack Benny](#): > > We have never considered divorce. Murder, yes, divorce, no. Regards. Shodan ---
**Author:** ![dre2xl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/34f0e0/32.png) [@dre2xl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dre2xl)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 2:18pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/92 "2008-08-06T14:18:20Z")
ā€œAā€ without children, ā€œCā€ with children. ---
**Author:** ![fervour](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/ce7236/32.png) [@fervour](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/fervour)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 3:34pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/93 "2008-08-06T15:34:36Z")
A+B. If I have to choose one Iā€™ll go with A. Itā€™s the qualifiers that makes the choice difficult. They seem to be comparing things that are orders of magnitude different. In ā€œAā€ the qualifier, ā€œpitfallsā€, connotes things like loss of job, house fire, or tornado devastation. Whereas in ā€œBā€ the wording implies fundamental changes in who the person is ā€”brain damage in which the person loses all ability to recognize his SO, disease which causes a personality change in which the SO is incapable of experiencing love, etc. I wouldnā€™t expect my SO to stay with me if my personality fundamentally altered and could not be re-adjusted. I donā€™t think he would expect otherwise from me either. Iā€™ll ask when he gets back. Specs: 42, gay, partnered for 11+ years, known him for 12+ years. ---
**Author:** ![Misnomer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/misnomer/32/14897_2.png) [@Misnomer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Misnomer)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 4:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/94 "2008-08-06T16:45:54Z")
B. Iā€™m 36, heā€™s 34; together for 1.5 years; living in sin for 2.5 months. [QUOTE=Duck Duck Goose] Weā€™re _here_, with Us. [/QUOTE] We sometimes refer to ourselves as ā€œUs,ā€ too ā€“ complete with the capital ā€œU.ā€ šŸ™‚ ---
**Author:** ![chela](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chela/32/21582_2.png) [@chela](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/chela)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 4:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/95 "2008-08-06T16:53:04Z")
Just for the record, iā€™ll say B. :dubious: ---
**Author:** ![Walkabout](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/46a35a/32.png) [@Walkabout](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Walkabout)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 5:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/96 "2008-08-06T17:04:34Z")
I think Iā€™d choose D, but Iā€™d definitely word it differently. Maybe ā€œResigned to the fact that our marriage will stay the same, but maybe Iā€™ll finally take a chance and leave.ā€ Weā€™ve been married for 26 years, but I donā€™t think itā€™s really been a real marriage for the past 20 years. If anyone ends it, it will be me. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 6:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/97 "2008-08-06T18:00:24Z")
Not married now, but I was for 18 years, and for 18 years I knew it was E. I was in it for the long haul. He wasnā€™t and I knew it from early on. Grass is always greener, ya know (to him). ---
**Author:** ![Monstera\_deliciosa](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/monstera_deliciosa/32/109_2.png) [@Monstera\_deliciosa](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstera_deliciosa)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 7:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/98 "2008-08-06T19:10:26Z")
[QUOTE=Rascalā€™s Mom] Not married now, but I was for 18 years, and for 18 years I knew it was E. I was in it for the long haul. He wasnā€™t and I knew it from early on. Grass is always greener, ya know (to him). [/QUOTE] Donā€™t feel like youā€™re the only one. My husbandā€™s first marriage lasted for 18 years also, and according to him, it was bad almost from the start. (A ā€œDā€ in this poll.) At first, it seemed fixable, and by the time he realized it wasnā€™t (E), there were kids, so he stuck it out as long as he could. ---
**Author:** ![Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/a698b9/32.png) [@Rascal\_s\_Mom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rascal_s_Mom)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 7:23pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/99 "2008-08-06T19:23:39Z")
[QUOTE=KayElCee] Donā€™t feel like youā€™re the only one. My husbandā€™s first marriage lasted for 18 years also, and according to him, it was bad almost from the start. (A ā€œDā€ in this poll.) At first, it seemed fixable, and by the time he realized it wasnā€™t (E), there were kids, so he stuck it out as long as he could. [/QUOTE] Itā€™s a horrible, horrible existence. ---
**Author:** ![Interrobang](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/interrobang/32/17463_2.png) [@Interrobang](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Interrobang)\ **Post date:** [August 6, 2008, 11:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851/100 "2008-08-06T23:20:11Z")
B. Iā€™d be very, very surprised if we werenā€™t together for life, but my parents got divorced, my wifeā€™s parents got divorced, shit happens, and while thatā€™s not an outcome either of us is aiming for you donā€™t always get what you want no matter how much you want it. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-for-married-dopers/458851.md?page=6)