I didn’t plan to have children. I love my kids more than anything else, but it wasn’t the wisest course of action to have unprotected sex, so … yeah, sorry junior, and juniorette … if I had it to do over again, I’d wrap that rascal.
On the whole, I am happy I had kids and would never change it.
But there have been times…
I love my little rascal more than life itself. I didn’t used to get this sappy, but frequently during the day, as I look at one of his pictures over my desk, tears of joy will come to my eyes at the thought of him.
I always knew I wanted to be a father, but I had no idea just how deeply I really did want it until it happened. It took a long time, far longer than it should have, but now I finally am in the life of my deepest desire. (Well, like all parents, I’d like a little spare time, but other than that.) There’s no way on God’s green earth I’d give this up.
Things can be tough but I don’t regret it.
Father of two small ones (3 and 1) here. I would definitely not change a thing, my boys are awesome and I love them to death. However, I could tell that my wife and I were about at our limit with the two we have, so I went in for the snip-snip. Time will tell whether I regret that decision or not, although I almost certainly won’t.
One small one (3). Hell yeah, I’d have her all over again. And I’m not someone who ever craved kids, and I know we’d have been perfectly happy with none. It’s not ‘a kid’ in general that I’m so glad to have; it’s her, specifically. I don’t wish we’d had her earlier or later, although there would have been arguments for either one, because then it wouldn’t have been her. She is one of The Two Best Things In The World. (The other one being her father.)
I could have written this exact same post, only I have one son (13). 
Yep, what if, what if.
I definitely would do it again, though in a perfect perfect perfect world it would have been 5 or 8 years earlier. But then, I wouldn’t have met their father just when he was ready, and we wouldn’t have come together to make the wonderful children we have, even if we’re going to be ancient by the time they leave home. (I was 36 and 39 when they were born, hubster is 5 years older yet.)
But he and I have remarked many times that if we’d met earlier in our lives we wouldn’t have recognized one another as Mr./Ms. Right, so there’s that. All in all I’d say it all worked out better than it seems to for many.
I just can’t WAIT to have kids. Of course as a gay guy it’s going to be tougher and possibly more expensive, but I’m looking forward to it. Nothing’s gonna stop me.
This is the articulation of my thoughts, much better than I could have typed it out. Only instead of “little rascal,” I’d have said “little rascals.”
I echo the refrain of I would never change a thing, but I wish I had done it about 5 years earlier so I would have more energy.
I don’t regret having my kids, they are awesome people and they wouldn’t be who they are if I’d had them at a different time or with someone else.
I do regret not being the parent that they deserve, though. My oldest is 15, and my 8 yr old is incredibly perceptive. It is incredibly saddening to see them recognizing my shortcomings.
For me, it depends on the meaning of “go back”. Would I be guaranteed to get my kids, that is the current two small people I know and love, with their specific genetic material et al? Then yes. They are wonderful and worth every second. If I could have my two kids and have them when I was older, I’d take that option. I was 26 and 29, I’d have liked a few more years to travel and be footloose and fancy free. Maybe 30 and 33.
Does it mean go back to before they were born and decide again to get pregnant or not? Then I’d probably say no. I’d be likely to end up with different kids (different sperm would win, if I conceived in a different month it would be a different egg, etc). We have some significant genetic risks that we weren’t aware of before the kids were born, luckily they are both OK (older one has high functioning autism, the genetic testing after this is what alerted us to the risks). But there’s a risk of issues that I’m not comfortable with. So, I’d be child free by choice. I’d be OK with that, there’s a lot I would do with the time and money this would allow. I love my kids and wouldn’t trade them for the world, but I don’t love the abstract concept of “being a mom” enough to take the risk.
Not just “yes I would have them again” but “HELL YES! They are the best things in my life.”
Yes, I absolutely would have my daughter again. I walked around with a baby-sized hole in my heart for thirty years. My daughter filled it up. Now I want a second kid so I can “do it right” and really enjoy having a tiny baby instead of being scared to death all the time.
Plus, I can’t WAIT for the “kid” stuff. My daughter (16 months) and I have been wandering the back-to-school aisles forlornly.
I’m like that - I even have daydreams where I had exactly the same kid but several years later (I was 22 years old when she was born, and single). If I could have just kinda held her in my womb and released her at the appropriate time…
Given that that’s not possible, then no. My world would not be my world without my daughter in it.
I can understand people wistfully thinking about a life without kids now and then, or perhaps thinking they should have had the kids adopted, but to actually go back and choose for their kids to not be born would be a bit, well, weird - wishing out of existence someone you’re supposed to love and be the ultimate carer for is generally not a healthy state of mind.
I would change it. I doubt I’m a good enough parent for my son and my life would be financially easier. I definitely would not be in my current profession. But for all I know, my son grounded me and I’d be dead or a drunk or some such.
My son is amazing. I love him. He’s happy, well-adjusted, polite, fun…but I spend about 10 per cent of my day thinking that I did it all wrong.
Don’t tell him. He’d be horribly offended. It’s like wishing death on a kid. (If he did die, however, I think I would, too.)
So maybe I wouldn’t change it. I have NO IDEA where I’d be now. I mean, I’d like to think I’d be doing x, y, and z, but my son definitely made me a better person.
This poll is somewhat misleading, it assumes that every parent made a decision to have a child. I didn’t make a decision to have a kid. My birth control failed me, and I was in a time and place where I couldn’t get an abortion. Never wanted any kids. I can send a link to anyone who PMs me, going into more detail.
You didn’t have a “I have kids, and I am not sure”.
See, we have two kids, both of whom are special needs. One has high-functioning autism, the other has a combination of pretty severe emotional volatility (somewhat better these days at least) and ADHD-like issues. The kid with autism is the" easy" one - and has been since he was 5. He’s nearly 18 (my daughter is 15+).
Neither kid has been at all what we’d have expected / hoped for. Neither is in the least self-motivating (neither Typo Knig nor I ever had to be nagged to finish our homework, for example). Both can be exhausting to be around. I’ve developed some chronic health issues that are made a lot harder to cope with, since I have to be a parent as well as a person. My career has suffered, there’s been a pretty huge economic hit, etc. I’m just too frackin’ TIRED of being a parent.
Yet there’ve been benefits to being a parent as well. We’ve met some truly wonderful people. It’s been a joy to watch the kids grow and develop. My son, in graduating high school and going away to college, has blown away all initial predictions from when he was diagnosed. My daughter is scary smart and can be hysterically funny. We’ve learned that we can step up to challenges, at least to some extent. We recognize that there are no guarantees in life, and that we’ve actually got it a lot easier than some we know.
Yet all in all: when we went into the babymaking hobby, we didn’t know what a number it would do on our daily lives even through high school, the physical toll, and the genetic issues at play. My oldest nephew was JUST getting diagnosed with autism, and the genetic issues weren’t well known; my next nephew was later diagnosed with severe and nearly untreatable depression… all in all, the family is a real genetic train wreck.
So: if I’d known 19 years ago what I know now, would I still have wanted kids?
I just don’t know.