# A poll on rape. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442 "2011-05-10T22:06:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![Gyrate](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/gyrate/32/3588_2.png) [@Gyrate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Gyrate)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 11:54am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/21 "2011-05-11T11:54:31Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > How the fuck is a 10yo girl who stops to look at a stand of cheap jewelry on the street “making herself available” except to the fuckedest of predators? She’s clearly asking for it, all “standing there” and “being female” and “breathing”. It’s almost a cliche to say it but rape is more about power than about sex. Children are raped, old people are raped, men, women, fat, thin, fit, disabled…it can happen to anyone. Young attractive women may be targetted more but it’s still not their fault. ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 11:55am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/22 "2011-05-11T11:55:42Z")
> [@spark240](#): > > How’s that? Right now, more than one-quarter of all women (16/61) reported have been raped _at least_ once in their lives (to date), even with some equivocation about calling some rapes “rape.” That seems pretty damn significant. in terms of analysis. there should be more questions for actual rape victims. but the “never” data is a good first-level information. ---
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 12:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/23 "2011-05-11T12:17:45Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#): > > the stats alone. victims’ ages seem to cluster between 16 and 25. you’ll forgive me if i assume anything far from this range is a little bit off the norm. i don’t lust for anyone younger than 17 or (sorry) older than my age (48.) so i can’t really see things the way others do. protecting minors is a whole new subject. but i think if i focus on the 16-30 range, i can still talk in general terms. Oh, ok, so you define “any piece of data Mr Bolan does not like” as “an aberrant”. Sorry, bubba, that’s not how it works. Among other things, you’re disregarding the fact that many rape victims are from countries and situations where a body is lucky to get “older than your age”. For those who haven’t encountered the mathematical definition of the term before, in statistics an aberrant is a datapoint which is disregarded because we have knowledge that indicates it’s not representative of the population being studied. For example, if we wanted to study a given production process and had data from one day that production stopped dead because of a power failure, that datapoint would be an aberrant - unless blackouts happen to be common in the area, in which case why is your factory there? ---
**Author:** ![Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/6bbea6/32.png) [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Living_Well_Is_Best_Revenge)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 1:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/24 "2011-05-11T13:08:44Z")
I am curious about the males who said they were raped as adults. I know it happens, but it’s not something you hear about very often. ---
**Author:** ![Ladymarmalade](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/f05b48/32.png) [@Ladymarmalade](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ladymarmalade)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 1:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/25 "2011-05-11T13:29:51Z")
> [@mac\_bolan00](#): > > the stats alone. victims’ ages seem to cluster between 16 and 25. you’ll forgive me if i assume anything far from this range is a little bit off the norm. i don’t lust for anyone younger than 17 or (sorry) older than my age (48.) so i can’t really see things the way others do. protecting minors is a whole new subject. but i think if i focus on the 16-30 range, i can still talk in general terms. That’s okay, I’m sure your virtue is safe with women of all ages. ---
**Author:** ![Tom\_Tildrum](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/e95f7d/32.png) [@Tom\_Tildrum](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tom_Tildrum)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 3:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/26 "2011-05-11T15:19:03Z")
> [@Living\_Well\_Is\_Best\_Revenge](#): > > I am curious about the males who said they were raped as adults. I know it happens, but it’s not something you hear about very often. Prison, perhaps. ---
**Author:** ![kapri](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/4491bb/32.png) [@kapri](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kapri)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 3:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/27 "2011-05-11T15:33:29Z")
Female; never “technically” raped, but as other women have said, I’ve been in situations where I have felt like I was raped. ---
**Author:** ![Snickers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/5daacb/32.png) [@Snickers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Snickers)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 3:41pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/28 "2011-05-11T15:41:51Z")
Female, never been raped. Never been in any situations where I felt raped or any rape was attempted. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 4:00pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/29 "2011-05-11T16:00:23Z")
Male, been raped once and almost a second time. The first time, I was about 24. I was drinking by myself in a bar and some guy hit on me, buying me drinks and then he invited me over to his place to get high. I went with him, thinking he meant smoking some weed, but instead he meant smoking some meth. I got a little turned off and wanted to leave. He was a much bigger guy than I was and wouldn’t let me leave. When I balked, he flipped out and slapped me, forced me on the bed and throttled me. I seriously thought he was going to strangle me, so I gave in. Afterwards, he viscously berated me - telling me I was a big cocktease and said I “used him” by getting him to buy me free drinks, and told me to get out. Amazingly, at the time I did accept this b.s. I hadn’t asked him to buy me anything, but I certainly didn’t refuse any of them. I felt like maybe I had been using him for free drinks (and hence, maybe his anger was justified.) Years later, I told this story to a therapist and he pointed out that: 1) No matter how many drinks he bought me, that gave him no right to slap me, bang my head against the headboard or strangulate me, and 2) It sounded to him like this guy had an M.O. - he probably pulled the same shit on any number of other guys. Anyway, the second time started pretty much the same way - got picked up by some guy late night in a bar, went home with him and he turned into a freak. This time though, I’d been living in NYC for a few years and had grown more of a backbone. I clocked him over the head with a desklamp and climbed down his fire escape. He screamed at me as I climbed down, but didn’t try to follow. Anyway, these are just part of the reasons I don’t drink any more. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 5:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/30 "2011-05-11T17:03:06Z")
Female, never raped. Sexually abused as a child many times, by two different stepfathers. ---
**Author:** ![Capitaine\_Zombie](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/e95f7d/32.png) [@Capitaine\_Zombie](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Capitaine_Zombie)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 5:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/31 "2011-05-11T17:09:21Z")
> [@Don\_Draper](#): > > Male, been raped once and almost a second time. > > The first time, I was about 24. I was drinking by myself in a bar and some guy hit on me, buying me drinks and then he invited me over to his place to get high. I went with him, thinking he meant smoking some weed, but instead he meant smoking some meth. I got a little turned off and wanted to leave. He was a much bigger guy than I was and wouldn’t let me leave. When I balked, he flipped out and slapped me, forced me on the bed and throttled me. I seriously thought he was going to strangle me, so I gave in. Afterwards, he viscously berated me - telling me I was a big cocktease and said I “used him” by getting him to buy me free drinks, and told me to get out. > > Amazingly, at the time I did accept this b.s. I hadn’t asked him to buy me anything, but I certainly didn’t refuse any of them. I felt like maybe I had been using him for free drinks (and hence, maybe his anger was justified.) Years later, I told this story to a therapist and he pointed out that: 1) No matter how many drinks he bought me, that gave him no right to slap me, bang my head against the headboard or strangulate me, and 2) It sounded to him like this guy had an M.O. - he probably pulled the same shit on any number of other guys. > Anyway, the second time started pretty much the same way - got picked up by some guy late night in a bar, went home with him and he turned into a freak. This time though, I’d been living in NYC for a few years and had grown more of a backbone. I clocked him over the head with a desklamp and climbed down his fire escape. He screamed at me as I climbed down, but didn’t try to follow. > > Anyway, these are just part of the reasons I don’t drink any more. Mind if I ask if you were (or considered yourself) straight/bi/gay at the time? ---
**Author:** ![Broomstick](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/broomstick/32/246_2.png) [@Broomstick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Broomstick)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 5:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/32 "2011-05-11T17:30:43Z")
Female, never been raped but one piece of human filth tried when I was 14. Grabbed me around the neck, pulled me into some bushes, and started trying to remove my clothes. I left him screaming on the sidewalk with a broken leg and ran like hell, too frightened to tell anyone for years and years. It was awkward as hell seeing him in the hallways at school afterward. Think he might have dropped out of school shortly after that, last I heard he was doing time in the state pen. Given he was a blond haired blue-eyed white boy, short and slender, and sent to that place I wouldn’t be surprised if what he tried to do to me has now been done to him multiple times. There have been a few other times that might have been near misses, but the situation was ambiguous and, anyhow, I was able to get out of the area without harm to myself. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 7:01pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/33 "2011-05-11T19:01:45Z")
See, I was sexually abused as a child, and I called it rape and answered thusly in the poll. Rape is not just stranger rape. I’m shocked by the women who were sexually abused, or lost their virginity by force, and don’t consider it rape. If someone forced you into sexual contact without your consent, or before you were old enough to understand what consent is, you were raped. You may not like to think of it that way, but that’s what it is. If the facts were read to a grand jury, would the perp be indicted on a sex crime? If so, then it should be enough for you to answer yes for purposes of this poll. ---
**Author:** ![stretch](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/a6a055/32.png) [@stretch](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/stretch)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 7:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/34 "2011-05-11T19:32:14Z")
Female, never been raped. Stories in my family that I was molested as a child, but since I don’t remember it happening, I wouldn’t count that. ---
**Author:** ![Don\_Draper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b2d939/32.png) [@Don\_Draper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Don_Draper)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 7:36pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/35 "2011-05-11T19:36:58Z")
> [@Capitaine\_Zombie](#): > > Mind if I ask if you were (or considered yourself) straight/bi/gay at the time? I considered (and of course still consider) myself being gay. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 7:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/36 "2011-05-11T19:44:49Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > See, I was sexually abused as a child, and I called it rape and answered thusly in the poll. Rape is not just stranger rape. I’m shocked by the women who were sexually abused, or lost their virginity by force, and don’t consider it rape. If someone forced you into sexual contact without your consent, or before you were old enough to understand what consent is, you were raped. You may not like to think of it that way, but that’s what it is. If the facts were read to a grand jury, would the perp be indicted on a sex crime? If so, then it should be enough for you to answer yes for purposes of this poll. Yes, the perps who abused me would be indicted for a sex crime (and in the first case, he was found guilty of criminal sexual conduct and served time), but not all sex crimes and sex abuse involve forced penetration. Since that doesn’t apply in my case, I do not identify myself as a rape victim. Which is not to minimize the pain of what I and similar abuse victims experience, or deny that the consequences and psychological fallout can be very similar - indeed, my experience leads me to concur with prevailing research that any degree of unwanted sexual contact can be very traumatic, especially if it is repeated by a close relative or trusted friend - but it isn’t psychological trauma that makes a rape, it’s forced penetration. ---
**Author:** ![NinetyWt](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/cc9497/32.png) [@NinetyWt](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NinetyWt)\ **Post date:** [May 11, 2011, 11:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/37 "2011-05-11T23:29:51Z")
What age are you using for the boundary between “adult” and “child”? ---
**Author:** ![Rushgeekgirl](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/rushgeekgirl/32/3715_2.png) [@Rushgeekgirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rushgeekgirl)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 1:27am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/38 "2011-05-12T01:27:45Z")
Never raped; just molested by an adult and a teen when I was six. Just touching and making me touch them, no penetration. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:42am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/39 "2011-05-12T02:42:36Z")
I’m not sure what to count as rape, so I don’t know. Like, what if you were obviously way too drunk to consent, but the guy was drunk too, but not nearly as much? I guess legally it would be considered rape, but it never quite seemed like it to me. Fucked up, yes, but not exactly rape (that’s just my feeling for my personal experiences, not what I would think when it came to someone else). ---
**Author:** ![mac\_bolan00](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b3f665/32.png) [@mac\_bolan00](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/mac_bolan00)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/40 "2011-05-12T03:40:20Z")
> [@Nava](#): > > Oh, ok, so you define “any piece of data Mr Bolan does not like” as “an aberrant”. Sorry, bubba, that’s not how it works. Among other things, you’re disregarding the fact that many rape victims are from countries and situations where a body is lucky to get “older than your age”. if i wanted someone to teach me statistics that i already know, i’ll get someone more stable and level-headed. > [@](#): > > For those who haven’t encountered the mathematical definition of the term before, in statistics an aberrant is a datapoint which is disregarded because we have knowledge that indicates it’s not representative of the population being studied. For example, if we wanted to study a given production process and had data from one day that production stopped dead because of a power failure, that datapoint would be an aberrant - unless blackouts happen to be common in the area, in which case why is your factory there? sorry, i didn’t say your case was abberant. i just wanted to focus on a sub-set from the data. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442.md?page=3)