# A poll on rape. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 10, 2011, 10:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442 "2011-05-10T22:06:06Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 9\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Nava](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/da6949/32.png) [@Nava](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Nava)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 6:57am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/41 "2011-05-12T06:57:08Z")
> [@Drain\_Bead](#): > > See, I was sexually abused as a child, and I called it rape and answered thusly in the poll. Rape is not just stranger rape. I’m shocked by the women who were sexually abused, or lost their virginity by force, and don’t consider it rape. If someone forced you into sexual contact without your consent, or before you were old enough to understand what consent is, you were raped. You may not like to think of it that way, but that’s what it is. If the facts were read to a grand jury, would the perp be indicted on a sex crime? If so, then it should be enough for you to answer yes for purposes of this poll. In my location at least (Spain) the law makes clear distinctions between “sexually inappropriate behaviour” (for example flashing, inappropriate conversation subjects - basically, hands off), “sexual abuse” (such as unconsented groping, forcing the person to masturbate him/herself or the abuser - touching, no penetration) and “rape” (may be vaginal, oral or anal and the person being raped can be the one doing the penetrating - penetration) - any of them has “performed by a person in a position of authority” as making it worse but rape is pretty much the only one which will get prosecuted if it’s in the degree of attempt. If we open the field from “have you been raped” to “has anybody groped you without your consent, flashed you, had an inappropriate conversation with you or raped you”, the numbers for yes will just explode. ---
**Author:** ![AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/22d042/32.png) [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 9:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/42 "2011-05-12T09:22:29Z")
> [@](#): > > Like, what if you were obviously way too drunk to consent, but the guy was drunk too, but not nearly as much? > > I guess legally it would be considered rape, but it never quite seemed like it to me. Fucked up, yes, but not exactly rape Yes, maybe degrees of rape. Yes. Rape is rape…BUT there is a HUGE difference between “too drunk to consent and the guy was drunk too” and being sexually attacked in a dentist’s chair. (as happened to someone I know) Over on a feminist board I frequent, someone worked at a rape counseling center,and she said that the biggest problem is that most guys who rape think that they really didn’t rape. In other words it’s a date rape miscommunication. I really think that two things that would make rapes drop drasticly are: a) connecting sex ed with relationship skills training. It does seem like a lot of guys (and girls) are still stuck in the jr high relationship mode, where they really don’t know the sophisicated in and outs of a honest to god healthy realtionship. and b) getting rid of dumbass fratboy attitudes about sexuality. It does seem like a huge contribuator to date rape are dumb drunken fratboys who just see women as plastic playthings. ---
**Author:** ![Blackberry](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/ecd19e/32.png) [@Blackberry](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Blackberry)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 11:40am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/43 "2011-05-12T11:40:20Z")
> [@AboutAsWeirdAsYouCanGet](#): > > Yes, maybe degrees of rape. Yes. Rape is rape…BUT there is a HUGE difference between “too drunk to consent and the guy was drunk too” and being sexually attacked in a dentist’s chair. (as happened to someone I know) Over on a feminist board I frequent, someone worked at a rape counseling center,and she said that the biggest problem is that most guys who rape think that they really didn’t rape. In other words it’s a date rape miscommunication. I really think that two things that would make rapes drop drasticly are: a) connecting sex ed with relationship skills training. It does seem like a lot of guys (and girls) are still stuck in the jr high relationship mode, where they really don’t know the sophisicated in and outs of a honest to god healthy realtionship. and b) getting rid of dumbass fratboy attitudes about sexuality. It does seem like a huge contribuator to date rape are dumb drunken fratboys who just see women as plastic playthings. Yeah, I am 100% sure that the guys I’ve had these experiences with would no way consider it rape. But with one, the more I’ve thought about it, it was at least very close. I can’t say exactly how drunk he was in part because I was so drunk myself, but he had to presence of mind to intentionally sneak me away from my friends (who were “babysitting” me) and drive me to his house, where I basically passed out. And then he kept trying to call me later like everything was cool. A lot of guys who would never dream of jumping out of the bushes and attacking a woman still for some reason think this kind of thing is okay-ish. If a guy is being really pushy I’ve found that saying something like “Don’t restrain me” gets them to back off real quick, and get all “Whoa! What happened?!” whereas if I just say to stop, they think that’s just a starting point and that we’re still in negotiation. Of course, to a hiding-in-the-bushes type rapist, it will make no difference what words you use to say no, but to this seemingly huge group of grey-area ones, it’s the difference between them believing that you really mean it or not. ---
**Author:** ![Lynn\_Bodoni](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/e47c2d/32.png) [@Lynn\_Bodoni](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lynn_Bodoni)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/44 "2011-05-12T14:14:01Z")
> [@](#): > > If we open the field from “have you been raped” to “has anybody groped you without your consent, flashed you, had an inappropriate conversation with you or raped you”, the numbers for yes will just explode. I think that if that was asked, the vast majority of females would answer “yes”. ALL females, not just the ones who’d click on the poll thread. I didn’t click on any of the options, because none of them really applied to me. I mean, if I hadn’t been such a strong little tomboy, I WOULD have been raped twice as a child. So I’m pretty touchy about the subject. On the other hand, because I was able to defend myself and get away, I’m probably not nearly as traumatized as I would have been, had the rapes been actually carried out. And I just skimmed this thread, and it doesn’t look like this link about how some [rapists](http://yesmeansyesblog.wordpress.com/2009/11/12/meet-the-predators/) will admit to being rapists, as long as you don’t actually call it rape. Forced intercourse or whatever? Yeah, they’ll admit to it, and defend it. The links on that site are worth following, too. ---
**Author:** ![Drain\_Bead](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e47774/32.png) [@Drain\_Bead](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Drain_Bead)\ **Post date:** [May 12, 2011, 3:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/45 "2011-05-12T15:48:18Z")
> [@olivesmarch4th](#): > > Yes, the perps who abused me would be indicted for a sex crime (and in the first case, he was found guilty of criminal sexual conduct and served time), but not all sex crimes and sex abuse involve forced penetration. Since that doesn’t apply in my case, I do not identify myself as a rape victim. Which is not to minimize the pain of what I and similar abuse victims experience, or deny that the consequences and psychological fallout can be very similar - indeed, my experience leads me to concur with prevailing research that any degree of unwanted sexual contact can be very traumatic, especially if it is repeated by a close relative or trusted friend - but it isn’t psychological trauma that makes a rape, it’s forced penetration. Only by the strictest of common-law definitions is that actually true. For example, in Ohio, rape is defined as any sexual conduct with a non-spouse or a separated spouse (and sexual conduct is vaginal, anal, or oral intercourse, or any sort of penetration, however slight, of the vagina or anus by fingers or objects), that is done under the following circumstances: 1. If the rapist drugs you without your knowledge or by force in order to prevent resistance. 2. If the victim is less than 13, regardless of whether or not the offender knew his or her age. 3. If your ability to resist or consent is substantially impaired due to a physical or mental condition or because of advanced age, and the offender knows or should know about that. 4. Force or threat of force is used. So a lot of people in this thread who are saying they were not raped were actually raped, at least by the state of Ohio’s definitions. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 5:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/46 "2011-05-13T17:28:28Z")
> [@NinetyWt](#): > > What age are you using for the boundary between “adult” and “child”? I’m leaving that up to the respondents. I think they’re own conception of what they considered being an adult is more important than mine. ---
**Author:** ![Zyada](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zyada/32/3028_2.png) [@Zyada](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zyada)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 8:11pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/47 "2011-05-13T20:11:10Z")
I pulled the current totals into excel and broke out the percentages: As of 15:00 CDT: 94.64% of males have never been raped 75.21% of females have never been raped 2.98% of males were raped as a child. No males were raped as both a child and an adult 9.40% of females were raped as a child, including those who have been raped since. (5.98% were raped as a child but not since) 2.38% of males have been raped as an adult. 17.09% of females have been raped as an adult (again, including those who were also raped as a child) 2 females chose “I would rather not say”. No men did. Only three people who identified as transgendered answered as such, which is too low a number to analyze. As of now, by percentages, female children are three times as likely to have been raped and female adults are seven times as likely to have been raped. However, the numbers are still small enough to be creating a fairly large margin of error. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2011, 11:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/48 "2011-05-13T23:59:52Z")
I’m going to change my answer to ‘‘I might be a victim of rape.’’ When I was three, at the same time as the first abuse, some crazy shit went down that prompted my Mom to call social services. The investigators believed there had been penetration but I was not forthcoming with the information and there was no obvious perp. The other two cases were not rape by the definition of the state of Michigan. They were 2nd degree criminal sexual conduct. ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2011, 8:17am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442/49 "2011-05-14T08:17:00Z")
Male, never raped nor molested. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-poll-on-rape/581442.md?page=2)