# A possible way to keep cats from falling. **URL:** \ **Category:** Cecil's Columns/Staff Reports\ **Created:** [May 11, 2001, 11:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144 "2001-05-11T23:42:57Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/41 "2001-10-13T01:33:24Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by labradorian \* \*\* > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > \*\* > > > [@](#): > > > > If cats are curled up in curled-up dimensions, does that mean cats have six dimensions of square curlage, equal to 6c[sup]2[/sup]? What are the implications of this? \*\* > > …that _ **c** _ seems to increase in inverse proportion with the ambient temperature. I propose, though I have not been able to confirm, that as you approach absolute zero, _ **c** _ would approach infinity.\*\* EUREKA!!! That’s the answer to interstellar travel! You build a cat-matrix (constructed of wood and covered in carpet) into your ship, then chill the cat to near-absolute zero. The cat curls up, causing c to increase and approach infinity as temperature approaches zero. A local increase in the speed of light, enabling you to travel at hyperfast speeds without violating relativity! MUAHAHAHAHAHA Off to the patent office! (something tells me it’s strangely appropriate for my new sig to debut in this thread) ---
**Author:** ![Joe\_Cool](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/ecb155/32.png) [@Joe\_Cool](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Joe_Cool)\ **Post date:** [October 13, 2001, 1:43am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/42 "2001-10-13T01:43:04Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Joe\_Cool \* > \*\*(something tells me it’s strangely appropriate for my new sig to debut in this thread) \*\* So naturally I forgot to include it… ---
**Author:** ![morrigan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/f04885/32.png) [@morrigan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/morrigan)\ **Post date:** [October 22, 2001, 9:27pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/43 "2001-10-22T21:27:51Z")
It seems to me that you are all making this far too difficult. If you want to make a cat float, all you need is a cat, some root beer and a couple of scoops of ice cream. Same thing applies for buttered toast. ---
**Author:** ![Yoyodyne\_Propulsion\_Systems](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/82dd89/32.png) [@Yoyodyne\_Propulsion\_Systems](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yoyodyne_Propulsion_Systems)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/44 "2012-12-17T12:19:29Z")
> [@dunne\_u.wurrie](#): > > Uh, Hi. I’m only 9 years old. I was just wondering, are you people really as smart as you seem? Cuz if you are, how come you’re not out curing cancer or something? > > I was just wondering. Ahhh, a valid question,and nice always to see inquiring young minds here…I can’t speak for everyone, but in my case I _do_ have a cat and toast available, I _do not_ have much else in the way of sophisticated lab equipment. In fact, I can’t seem to find the Band-aides necessary to stem the bloodflow resulting from repeated attempts to butter my less-than-cooperative cat. Who seems to be much less scientifically-minded than I would have hoped… ---
**Author:** ![Czarcasm](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/czarcasm/32/4050_2.png) [@Czarcasm](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Czarcasm)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 1:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/45 "2012-12-17T13:57:15Z")
> [@Yoyodyne\_Propulsion\_Systems](#): > > Ahhh, a valid question,and nice always to see inquiring young minds here…I can’t speak for everyone, but in my case I _do_ have a cat and toast available, > I _do not_ have much else in the way of sophisticated lab equipment. In fact, I can’t seem to find the Band-aides necessary to stem the bloodflow resulting from repeated attempts to butter my less-than-cooperative cat. Who seems to be much less scientifically-minded than I would have hoped… 1. The person you are responding to hasn’t been here since 2002. 2. I doubt that he was really 9 at the time he wrote that, seeing as how he talked about a secretary at the industry he worked at in a subsequent thread. 3. Even if he _was_ actually 9 at the time of his post in this thread, he’s about 20 now. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 4:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/46 "2012-12-17T16:40:54Z")
Aw. this ancient thread was resurrected and wound up being used as a more recent Threadspotting … because even though it’s been a long time the thread is so stupendous it’s worth showing again. You can’t blame someone for responding to it, it was featured. And it’s still a great thread, regardless of the outcomes of some of the Dopers who posted to it. ---
**Author:** ![TubaDiva](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tubadiva/32/507_2.png) [@TubaDiva](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TubaDiva)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 4:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/47 "2012-12-17T16:42:04Z")
Perhaps I should ask … it’s been a long time, has there been any progress made on this front since the original posting? Ten plus years is a lot of science in the home! ---
**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\ **Post date:** [December 17, 2012, 7:53pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/48 "2012-12-17T19:53:06Z")
> [@TubaDiva](#): > > Perhaps I should ask … it’s been a long time, has there been any progress made on this front since the original posting? Ten plus years is a lot of science in the home! In 2005, the Mythbusters determined that toast-landing was a product of the way it was knocked off the table, rather than inherent property of butter-weighted bread. [http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/buttered-toast-minimyth.htm](http://dsc.discovery.com/tv-shows/mythbusters/videos/buttered-toast-minimyth.htm) Powers &8^] ---
**Author:** ![Zarquan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c57346/32.png) [@Zarquan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zarquan)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 3:33am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/49 "2012-12-22T03:33:02Z")
You’ve got to put the bread _buttered side down_ on the cat’s back. Otherwise it won’t work! :smack: I see that this entry is dated more than a year and a half ago, so I am certain that I’m too late to prevent the death or injury of a perfectly innocent slice of bread. ---
**Author:** ![TriPolar](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tripolar/32/3008_2.png) [@TriPolar](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TriPolar)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 3:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/50 "2012-12-22T03:50:14Z")
When a cat with buttered toast attached to it’s back falls, the universe splits in two. In one universe cats always land on their feet, and toast never lands butter side down. In the other universe toast always lands butter side down, and cats never land on their feet. Our universe was created from one of those type universes where someone attached four pieces of toast, butter side down, to a cat’s feet, and dropped it. ---
**Author:** ![moriah](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b2d939/32.png) [@moriah](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/moriah)\ **Post date:** [December 22, 2012, 7:25pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/51 "2012-12-22T19:25:27Z")
[![](http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/demotivation-posters-auto-248366.jpeg) ](http://img0.joyreactor.com/pics/post/demotivation-posters-auto-248366.jpeg) https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CEYcGPF00l0 ---
**Author:** ![StopTheInsanity](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/d07c76/32.png) [@StopTheInsanity](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/StopTheInsanity)\ **Post date:** [December 25, 2012, 12:44am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/52 "2012-12-25T00:44:10Z")
1. Studies showed that cats are more likely to fall feet first when dropped from roof top height (single story building . . . minimum?) 2. What happens when a cat, such as our Mr. Whiskers (hold the applause for originality until I am done please) What happens when a cat is a butter-a-holic and endeavors to lick the butter every night. Mr. Whiskers (a.k.a. Mickers) should have died of heart blockage years ago, yet he remain alive (Aha! 9 lives! I get it!) to stalk the kitchen opening cabinets and knocking over butter dishes in order to feast on the yellow feline beverage. So his innards are coated with butter - how will that affect the experiment? 3. Shrodinger had no problem finding or getting rid of the cats - he lived halfway between the pound and an Asian restaurant. 4. The smart people here are not trying to cure cancer because others are already working on that. Many others. Let’s focus on frontiers where no man has gone before. ---
**Author:** ![Powers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/edb3f5/32.png) [@Powers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Powers)\ **Post date:** [December 28, 2012, 3:04am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144/53 "2012-12-28T03:04:50Z")
> [@Zarquan](#): > > You’ve got to put the bread _buttered side down_ on the cat’s back. Otherwise it won’t work! :smack: What won’t work? The toast wants to land buttered-side down, right? So strapping it to the cat’s back only reinforces a successful landing. Powers &8^] [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-possible-way-to-keep-cats-from-falling/65144.md?page=2)