# A preemptive Thanksgiving rant **URL:** \ **Category:** The BBQ Pit\ **Created:** [November 23, 2004, 5:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312 "2004-11-23T17:42:07Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 7:52pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/41 "2004-11-23T19:52:14Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > **AuntieEm** , please send me the recipe. My e-mail’s in my profile. Thanks! Will do, but it’ll have to wait until I get home tonight. I thought maybe I could find it on the web, but alas . . . ---
**Author:** ![cher3](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/da6949/32.png) [@cher3](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cher3)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 7:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/42 "2004-11-23T19:57:26Z")
> [@Giles](#): > > My rant about Thanksgiving is that the food is not adjustable for small families. How long do you think it will take 2 people to eat a 25 pound turkey? > > (And yes, we do have family, but they are the other side of the world, in a land where they don’t celebrate Thanksgiving). > > Maybe we’ll just have some seafood and salad for our Thanksgiving. Back when I was cooking for two, we would have duck, which is just about the right amount and different enough to be festive. It also goes well with the same side dishes. A capon or a big, fancy roasting chicken works, too. Now that there are 4 of us, I just wrestle the old ladies at the grocery store for the last 10 pound turkey. Turkey isn’t all that, anyway. Don’thitme. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 7:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/43 "2004-11-23T19:58:30Z")
> [@pepperlandgirl](#): > > That’s fine, let them fight over the breast. I’ll gorge myself on the thigh and drumsticks in peace. Ah, my kind of woman. Yes, I’m more of a leg man than a breast man. 😉 Besides, with a drumstick, you can dip it in mashed potatoes, then roll it in cranberry sauce, then smother it in sweet potatoes, then coat it with stuffing. Then dip the whole thing in the gravy boat. It’s love on a bone, baby! ---
**Author:** ![wonky](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/wonky/32/393_2.png) [@wonky](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wonky)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/44 "2004-11-23T20:03:24Z")
I like jellied cranberry sauce. I like most stuffings. Variety is neato. The idea of having leftover turkey makes me laugh with a hearty, Santa-like ho ho ho. I can barely put both words in a single sentence. And I’m not touching a yam. I don’t care what the occasion might be, the yams must scram. ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:09pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/45 "2004-11-23T20:09:27Z")
I’m another gravy glutton. People who put a tiny dab of gravy just on the potatoes are a mystery to me. I pretty much like to swamp my whole plate. I always make an extra large pot of giblet gravy. I also make cornbread stuffing with homemade cornbread made the way it’s supposed to be made- in a cast iron skillet with buttermilk and with _no sugar_. The stuffing gets baked in a separate pan, not in the turkey. I make the simple cranberry sauce- bag of berries, sugar, water, simmer- but I like to add a little bit of cinnamon and nutmeg as well. My candied yams will involve maple syrup and pecans and yes a sprinkling of mini-marshmallows. I’ll make a simple green salad, nothing fancy. My green beans will be cooked with bacon until they’re limp. The only thing that will come from a can will be the pumkin for the pie. And as long as we’re on the subject, there is no need to arse around with the turkey either. Save the fancy sauces and cooking techniques. Spare me the smokers and the fryers. Spare me your butter injections and your apricot glazes. Don’t even salt it. Salt draws out the moisture. All you need to do is smear some oil on it and put in the oven on low heat. It will be nice and juicy with a crispy skin. It’s ready to be drowned in gravy or sliced up for turkey sandwiches…mmmm…turkey sandwiches :::drool::: ---
**Author:** ![RickJay](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/bb73d2/32.png) [@RickJay](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/RickJay)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/46 "2004-11-23T20:10:26Z")
> [@swampbear](#): > > **Liberal** at last, I meet somebody who really knows what Thanksgiving is about. The gravy! If the gravy ain’t right, throw the rest out! As my father put it, “Son, the meat and potatoes are just a canvas for the gravy.” White meat? Dark meat? It should never matter. Trust me, I can’t tell which I’ve got, because it’s slathered in thick, delicious gravy. Now, here is the question that vexes me; what vegetable should be served as a side? Long have we served carrots, but I’m sort of thinking about broccoli. ---
**Author:** ![Guinastasia](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/guinastasia/32/5751_2.png) [@Guinastasia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Guinastasia)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/47 "2004-11-23T20:14:31Z")
Peas and carrots? Corn? Oh, and for those of you worrying about having too much leftover turkey, can’t you just find a small turkey breast? ---
**Author:** ![Honey](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/honey/32/5074_2.png) [@Honey](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Honey)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/48 "2004-11-23T20:19:23Z")
Y’all can have the white meat and the dark meat. As long as I get all of the crispy, wonderful skin. I know it’s all fat and not good for me and I don’t care. Stuffing, mashed potatoes and turkey skin all covered with gravy. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/49 "2004-11-23T20:19:38Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I also make cornbread stuffing with homemade cornbread made the way it’s supposed to be made- in a cast iron skillet with buttermilk and with _no sugar_. No sugar? [_Checks DtC’s location_] Ah, Minnesota! I _see_. > [@](#): > > . > The stuffing gets baked in a separate pan, not in the turkey. Can’t be emphasized enough. Stuffing in the turkey is an engraved invitation to _Salmonella_ and _Campylobacter_ to take up residence in your GI tract. Not pleasant. > [@](#): > > I make the simple cranberry sauce- bag of berries, sugar, water, simmer- but I like to add a little bit of cinnamon and nutmeg as well. > > My candied yams will involve maple syrup and pecans and yes a sprinkling of mini-marshmallows. > > I’ll make a simple green salad, nothing fancy. > > My green beans will be cooked with bacon until they’re limp. > > The only thing that will come from a can will be the pumkin for the pie. Sounds yummy. ---
**Author:** ![NDP](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ndp/32/55_2.png) [@NDP](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/NDP)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:22pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/50 "2004-11-23T20:22:25Z")
> [@BubbaDog](#): > > … > > 1. In laws, I know you’re a German family but, Sauerkraut on Thanksgiving? > … > [@Liberal](#): > > I now must purge my brain with Saniflush. Just put some gravy on it. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Shodan](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/9f8e36/32.png) [@Shodan](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Shodan)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/51 "2004-11-23T20:24:56Z")
The problem is that cranberry sauce has become what orange juice has become. I don’t _like_ anything except the canned stuff. Same with the other favorites. Now yams is something that not everybody likes, and therefore I can get creative and make a sweet potato souffle with orange sauce. Speaking of Thanksgiving, every damn year I try to be conscientious and thaw the turkey in the refrigerator so no one gets salmonella. Every damn year the thing is still frozen solid after a week in the meat drawer. And I have to butterfly and de-bone it tomorrow so I can can make the stock. There will be plenty of leftovers, however. It turns out my brother-in-law and his wife and their five children will not be coming after all. So unless everyone eats three pounds of turkey apiece, there will be \*_plenty_ of leftovers. And Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Regards, Shodan ---
**Author:** ![Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/e99b99/32.png) [@Diogenes\_the\_Cynic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Diogenes_the_Cynic)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/52 "2004-11-23T20:28:04Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > No sugar? [_Checks DtC’s location_] Ah, Minnesota! I _see_. This is actually a recipe from my maternal Louisiana heritage. In the deep south, putting sugar in cornbread is considered to be a Phillistine Yankee corruption. My recipe (which goes back to at least my great grandmother on my mother’s side) is so old school south that it actually calls for the batter to be poured into hot bacon grease. I use canola oil instead. It’s my one concession to my family’s arteries. ---
**Author:** ![Ferret\_Herder](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/f/e47774/32.png) [@Ferret\_Herder](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ferret_Herder)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/53 "2004-11-23T20:29:12Z")
> [@NDP](#): > > Just put some gravy on it. 😃 On the sauerkraut, or on Lib’s brain to purge the mental image of sauerkraut? I have to agree with **DtC** ’s vegetable-oil-only method of roasting a turkey. I made a delicious and juicy (or so everyone else told me, I’m a vegetarian) turkey the very first time I roasted one, using that method. No need to get overly fancy. ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:30pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/54 "2004-11-23T20:30:08Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > I’m another gravy glutton. People who put a tiny dab of gravy just on the potatoes are a mystery to me. I pretty much like to swamp my whole plate. I always make an extra large pot of giblet gravy. > > I also make cornbread stuffing with homemade cornbread made the way it’s supposed to be made- in a cast iron skillet with buttermilk and with _no sugar_. > > The stuffing gets baked in a separate pan, not in the turkey. > > I make the simple cranberry sauce- bag of berries, sugar, water, simmer- but I like to add a little bit of cinnamon and nutmeg as well. > > My candied yams will involve maple syrup and pecans and yes a sprinkling of mini-marshmallows. > > I’ll make a simple green salad, nothing fancy. > > My green beans will be cooked with bacon until they’re limp. > > The only thing that will come from a can will be the pumkin for the pie. > And as long as we’re on the subject, there is no need to arse around with the turkey either. Save the fancy sauces and cooking techniques. Spare me the smokers and the fryers. Spare me your butter injections and your apricot glazes. Don’t even salt it. Salt draws out the moisture. All you need to do is smear some oil on it and put in the oven on low heat. It will be nice and juicy with a crispy skin. It’s ready to be drowned in gravy or sliced up for turkey sandwiches…mmmm…turkey sandwiches :::drool::: I hereby annoint you Honorary Southerner Extraordinary and Plenipotentiary. ---
**Author:** ![gobear](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/8dc957/32.png) [@gobear](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/gobear)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:31pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/55 "2004-11-23T20:31:27Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > This is actually a recipe from my maternal Louisiana heritage. In the deep south, putting sugar in cornbread is considered to be a Phillistine Yankee corruption. Ahem, are you calling my Tennessee ancestors Yankees? The mind boggles! (Although I guess to people in Looziana, anywhere north of Shreveport is Yankeeland). 😃 ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/56 "2004-11-23T20:32:24Z")
> [@gobear](#): > > Can’t be emphasized enough. Stuffing in the turkey is an engraved invitation to _Salmonella_ and _Campylobacter_ to take up residence in your GI tract. Not pleasant. Never been a problem for me. You just have to make sure that the stuffing measures 170 degrees. Heating it before stuffing probably helps. If you have a problem with sweet potatoes, try this: Mash them with butter, brown sugar, a couple of (tempered) egg yolks, sour cream, and brandy. Spread in a casserole and top with butter and brown sugar, then bake until hot. Fang tasmic! Unfortunately, people around here have never heard of sweet potatoes. They all do squash. Damn Massachusetts idiots don’t know the first thing about Thanksgiving. ---
**Author:** ![Syntropy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/65b543/32.png) [@Syntropy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Syntropy)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/57 "2004-11-23T20:37:49Z")
> [@Shodan](#): > > Now yams is something that not everybody likes, and therefore I can get creative and make a sweet potato souffle with orange sauce. Is what I’m sayin. It is against my religion to eat anything the same color as Lucille Ball’s hair. But, your souffle sounds actually pretty yummy… gots the recipe handy? ---
**Author:** ![Liberal](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/848f3c/32.png) [@Liberal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Liberal)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/58 "2004-11-23T20:38:58Z")
> [@Tdn](#): > > Unfortunately, people around here have never heard of sweet potatoes. They all do squash. Damn Massachusetts idiots don’t know the first thing about Thanksgiving. I love fried squash so much (please, for the love of God, easy on the batter) I might just turn a blind eye if it sneaks its way onto my Thanksgiving table. ---
**Author:** ![tdn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/94ad74/32.png) [@tdn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/tdn)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/59 "2004-11-23T20:42:38Z")
> [@Liberal](#): > > I love fried squash so much (please, for the love of God, easy on the batter) I might just turn a blind eye if it sneaks its way onto my Thanksgiving table. You must be thinking of summer squash. I’m talking about winter squash, like acorn or butternut. Boiled within an inch of its life, then mashed into a thin sauce. ---
**Author:** ![auntie\_em](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/5e9695/32.png) [@auntie\_em](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/auntie_em)\ **Post date:** [November 23, 2004, 8:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312/60 "2004-11-23T20:45:56Z")
> [@Diogenes the Cynic](#): > > In the deep south, putting sugar in cornbread is considered to be a Phillistine Yankee corruption. So Miracle Whip would be out of the question . . . ? :d&r: [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-preemptive-thanksgiving-rant/276312.md?page=4)