# A product that COMPLETELY fails **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [April 1, 2008, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475 "2008-04-01T02:16:14Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![Yorikke](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/yorikke/32/4335_2.png) [@Yorikke](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Yorikke)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 2:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/1 "2008-04-01T02:16:14Z")
Just now, I nearly had a heart attack because my wife’s little suction-cup soap dish one again fell off the wall, clattering around in the tub. All it is supposed to do is stick to the shower wall and hold soap, yet it fails utterly. Anyone else have an example of complete product failure around their work or home? Joe ---
**Author:** ![Absolute](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/b2d939/32.png) [@Absolute](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Absolute)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:02am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/2 "2008-04-01T03:02:40Z")
Drano. Never works. Comet. Just spray and wipe off, they say. Bullshit. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to remove a stain by scrubbing until your arms fall off. Usually though, it doesn’t do jack. Pledge. “Anti-static polymer repels dust!” Get lost, losers. My bookshelf attracted more dust in the week after I used your crappy product than in the entire year before. Whitening Toothpaste. My teeth don’t look any whiter. Hair “conditioner”. I don’t think anyone even knows what this is _supposed_ to do. Mitchum deodorant. “So good, you can skip a day!” My ass. Let me shove my armpit in your face tomorrow evening, marketdroid, and see if you agree. Then you’ll discover the antiperspirant doesn’t work either. Pretty much all consumer cleaning and hygiene products, really. ---
**Author:** ![Amblydoper](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/fbc32d/32.png) [@Amblydoper](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Amblydoper)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/3 "2008-04-01T03:46:48Z")
[QUOTE=Absolute] Mitchum deodorant. “So good, you can skip a day!” My ass. Let me shove my armpit in your face tomorrow evening, marketdroid, and see if you agree. Then you’ll discover the antiperspirant doesn’t work either. [/QUOTE] I sweat buckets working in the kitchen. There is a point, where sweating (in a heavy double breasted chef’s coat) stops cooling your body, and beads of sweat just roll down your side. I tried dozens of different deodorants that didn’t do diddly. Then, I tried Mitchum. I found my body-heat threshold increased dramatically. “So good, you can skip a day! You will stink like a rotting squid corpse, but at least you won’t sweat like one.” ---
**Author:** ![Squeaker\_Snow](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/fbc32d/32.png) [@Squeaker\_Snow](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Squeaker_Snow)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:53am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/4 "2008-04-01T03:53:16Z")
[QUOTE=wheresgeorge04] Just now, I nearly had a heart attack because my wife’s little suction-cup soap dish one again fell off the wall, clattering around in the tub. All it is supposed to do is stick to the shower wall and hold soap, yet it fails utterly. Anyone else have an example of complete product failure around their work or home? Joe [/QUOTE] Those “steam” things that are supposed to blast mildew/dirt/grime/etc. off of tile, etc. I bought one off of one of the tv shopping channels a few years ago and the darned thing didn’t work at all the way it did on tv. Also those thing-y’s that are supposed to break up soil for your garden with the twist of a wrist. Only if the ground has already been toiled… :rolleyes: But, I’m sure that other people will say that they are the greatest things since sliced bread. That’s just been my experience. ---
**Author:** ![Sierra\_Indigo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/f0a364/32.png) [@Sierra\_Indigo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sierra_Indigo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 3:56am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/5 "2008-04-01T03:56:11Z")
> [@Absolute](#): > > Hair “conditioner”. I don’t think anyone even knows what this is supposed to do. Don’t know about you personally, but hair conditioner helps me detangle my hair without tearing/snapping it. I tend to get tangles in the under layers of my hair that lead to dreadlocking if I don’t deal with them. So when I wash the hair, I condition afterwards then comb the conditioner out before rinsing. The conditioner smooths the hair so it doesn’t snap and the tangles come out. If I don’t condition, my hair is pretty much unmanageable by the time it dries. ---
**Author:** ![OpalCat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/8edcca/32.png) [@OpalCat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/OpalCat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 4:11am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/6 "2008-04-01T04:11:17Z")
If I don’t use conditioner I can’t comb my hair without tearing and breaking it all off. My contributions: The little “suction syringe” thing that’s supposed to suck blackheads out of our skin… and probably most of the stuff [on this page](http://opalcat.com/Fun/snake-oil)… ---
**Author:** ![beowulff](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/beowulff/32/542_2.png) [@beowulff](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/beowulff)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 4:14am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/7 "2008-04-01T04:14:00Z")
I bought a “Sonic Web” Mosquito trap. Completely worthless. Didn’t catch a single mosquito. Biggest waste of money ever (and I’ve wasted a lot of money). ---
**Author:** ![Argent\_Towers](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/e8c25b/32.png) [@Argent\_Towers](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Argent_Towers)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 6:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/8 "2008-04-01T06:10:13Z")
Bombs and grenades are almost guaranteed to totally lose their structural integrity whenever they are used. As if that weren’t already bad enough, they have even been known to injure others as well. ---
**Author:** ![GameHat](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ed655f/32.png) [@GameHat](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/GameHat)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 6:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/9 "2008-04-01T06:19:12Z")
[Lotus Notes](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lotus_Notes). Fails utterly. ---
**Author:** ![Beware\_of\_Doug](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/278dde/32.png) [@Beware\_of\_Doug](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Beware_of_Doug)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 7:10am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/10 "2008-04-01T07:10:18Z")
I too had a suction cup device in my shower. It was a “fogless” shaving mirror. Oh yeah, it didn’t fog _until the water got hot enough to shave with._ Then it fell off the wall. ---
**Author:** ![missred](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/missred/32/14096_2.png) [@missred](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/missred)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:16am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/11 "2008-04-01T08:16:55Z")
[QUOTE=Absolute] Hair “conditioner”. I don’t think anyone even knows what this is _supposed_ to do. [/QUOTE] Only those of us with a headful of curly hair. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Rick](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/9f8e36/32.png) [@Rick](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Rick)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:21am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/12 "2008-04-01T08:21:28Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] I too had a suction cup device in my shower. It was a “fogless” shaving mirror. Oh yeah, it didn’t fog _until the water got hot enough to shave with._ Then it fell off the wall. [/QUOTE] Yes, but did it fog? ---
**Author:** ![Ale](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/f19dbf/32.png) [@Ale](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ale)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 8:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/13 "2008-04-01T08:51:46Z")
[QUOTE=Beware of Doug] I too had a suction cup device in my shower. It was a “fogless” shaving mirror. Oh yeah, it didn’t fog _until the water got hot enough to shave with._ Then it fell off the wall. [/QUOTE] And after falling off the wall, did it burst in flames too? ---
**Author:** ![FairyChatMom](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/fairychatmom/32/21906_2.png) [@FairyChatMom](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/FairyChatMom)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:19am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/14 "2008-04-01T10:19:04Z")
[QUOTE=OpalCat] _\_ and probably most of the stuff [on this page](http://opalcat.com/Fun/snake-oil)… [/QUOTE] I love the face cream with the gold bits that melt from the warmth of your skin. Because gold’s melting temp is reduced as the size of the gold particle is reduced. :rolleyes: Guess I’m lucky my wedding band isn’t permanently welded to my finger… I can’t remember the name of the product now, but there’s an ad on TV about something that provides “extra ions” or some such silliness. My husband and I snark about it all the time. ---
**Author:** ![DianaG](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7ab992/32.png) [@DianaG](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/DianaG)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 10:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/15 "2008-04-01T10:51:06Z")
**Absolute** , I don’t know about Comet spray\*, but Comet \*powder \* is of the gods. And nearly impossible to find lately, don’t know what’s up with that. Drano is pretty effective on small clogs, but it won’t work miracles, and it certainly won’t dissolve the solid metal and plastic objects that many people are suprised to find when they finally break down and pull the drain apart. As for conditioner… well, if you don’t understand what that’s for, you’re either using the wrong one, doing it wrong, or you just don’t have much hair. \*I’ve tried every bathroom cleaner and method known to man, including just spraying undiluted bleach and letting it sit. My grout is still mildew-stained. Also, I’ve never been able to use a bottle of Soft Scrub more than two or three times before the nozzle became hopelessly clogged. Any sort of home waxing kit where the wax is pre-loaded onto strips is completely worthless. ---
**Author:** ![Student\_Driver](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/3da27b/32.png) [@Student\_Driver](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Student_Driver)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 11:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/16 "2008-04-01T11:52:25Z")
[QUOTE=Absolute] Drano. Never works. [/QUOTE] I use Drano-- the classic granular kind that has been repositioned as being specifically for kitchens-- and it works for me. I use it whenever my sinks begin to drain more slowly (especially my shower-- I’m fine-haired and shed copiously, and the hair slips past the thing which is supposed to trap hair, eventually forming drain-slowing hairballs that would be the envy of any cat). I have found however, that the packaging instructions to follow the granules with a full cup of cool water tends to wash the Drano completely through the drain before it’s done its job-- I pour just enough water to get straggling grains into the drain, usually 1/3 of a cup. Liquic Dranos-- liquid drain openers of any sort, really-- fail for me. ---
**Author:** ![sandra\_nz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/eada6e/32.png) [@sandra\_nz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/sandra_nz)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 12:19pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/17 "2008-04-01T12:19:25Z")
Any oven cleaner that doesn’t make you gasp for air when you use it. Draino, on the other hand, has always worked brilliantly for our shower drain. You have to use the right sort - one is for slow draining and one is for completely blocked but I can never remember which is which. ---
**Author:** ![Ludovic](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7ab992/32.png) [@Ludovic](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ludovic)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 12:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/18 "2008-04-01T12:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > Drano. Never works. > > Comet. Just spray and wipe off, they say. Bullshit. If you’re lucky, you’ll be able to remove a stain by scrubbing until your arms fall off. Usually though, it doesn’t do jack. Solution: use liquid Drano where you would have used Comet. Just apply and wipe off, really! Sure, it might stain and or crack and or have an adverse chemical reaction with your surfaces, but it works for me! ---
**Author:** ![lieu](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/c2a13f/32.png) [@lieu](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/lieu)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 12:24pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/19 "2008-04-01T12:24:09Z")
I’ve bought three different kinds of car paint scratch removers for use on tiny, barely noticable blemishes and none really appear to have made any difference at all. ---
**Author:** ![groo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/g/ecd19e/32.png) [@groo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/groo)\ **Post date:** [April 1, 2008, 1:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475/20 "2008-04-01T13:02:51Z")
Electric facial skin shredders. Actually, they work quite well; the problem is that they’re marketed as electric shavers. [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-product-that-completely-fails/443475.md?page=2)