# A professor stood before his philosophy class and had some items in front of him **URL:** \ **Category:** Miscellaneous and Personal Stuff I Must Share\ **Created:** [December 17, 2012, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267 "2012-12-17T03:46:49Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 2
**Author:** ![TonySinclair](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/49beb7/32.png) [@TonySinclair](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TonySinclair)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 12:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/21 "2012-12-18T12:56:29Z")
As someone who has devoted the last several years of his life to playing that extra round of golf, I can state quite definitely that the professor was totally wrong when he said there would always be time to clean your house and mow your lawn. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 12:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/22 "2012-12-18T12:57:17Z")
> [@shijinn](#): > > Doper: You need to define “full.” Otherwise, it’s just bullshit. Another Doper: “Cite?” ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:05pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/23 "2012-12-18T13:05:06Z")
What about the mayonnaise? What does that represent? After all, you can’t even perform the demonstration until the mayonnaise is all gone. If the jar still had mayonnaise in it, would it still be full? What about mayonnaise and golf balls? ---
**Author:** ![robardin](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/43a26b/32.png) [@robardin](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/robardin)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:35pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/24 "2012-12-18T13:35:12Z")
Then a smart-ass student goes up and screws the cap back on the jar, puts it his freezer overnight and shows the class the next day that it ruptured when the beer froze. “There’s one more lesson to be learned here, folks: leave some slack time in your life. If you occupy yourself completely 100%, you won’t be able to deal with external stress!” ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 1:43pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/25 "2012-12-18T13:43:52Z")
Kinda hard to get to all those golfballs with all that sand and gravel in the way. Hence the true reason for the beer. ---
**Author:** ![TokyoBayer](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tokyobayer/32/13989_2.png) [@TokyoBayer](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/TokyoBayer)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 2:06pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/26 "2012-12-18T14:06:30Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Kinda hard to get to all those golfballs with all that sand and gravel in the way. Hence the true reason for the beer. You’ve got the cause and effect backwards. The more the beer, the more the sand and gravel you find around your golf balls. ---
**Author:** ![Spice\_Weasel](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/spice_weasel/32/5435_2.png) [@Spice\_Weasel](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Spice_Weasel)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 2:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/27 "2012-12-18T14:10:17Z")
> [@OldGuy](#): > > Remember as George Bush put it: > “There’s an old saying in Tennessee — I know it’s in Texas, probably in Tennessee — that says, fool me once, shame on — [pause] — shame on you. Fool me — [pause] — You can’t get fooled again.” "Fool me seven times, shame on you. Fool me eight or more times…‘’ -Amy Wong ---
**Author:** ![Weirofhermiston](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/e274bd/32.png) [@Weirofhermiston](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Weirofhermiston)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 2:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/28 "2012-12-18T14:38:12Z")
Alan Bennett satirised this kind of platitudinous thinking and tortured analogy in his parody of a C of E sermon in Beyond The Fringe in 1960. [http://www.sof.org.nz/esausermon.htm](http://www.sof.org.nz/esausermon.htm) It’s not very long. ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 3:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/29 "2012-12-18T15:14:02Z")
> [@](#): > > ‘Now,’ said the professor as the laughter subsided, ‘I want you to recognize that this jar represents your life. The golf balls are the important things—-your family, your children, your health, your friends and your favorite passions—-and if everything else was lost and only they remained, your life would still be full. The pebbles are the other things that matter like your job, your house and your car.. The sand is everything else—-the small stuff. Isn’t “air” important to your life? ---
**Author:** ![Lamia](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/8e7dd6/32.png) [@Lamia](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Lamia)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 11:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/30 "2012-12-18T23:37:41Z")
> [@tim314](#): > > I kind of doubt whoever wrote that ever took a philosophy class. It’s not “philosophy” in the sense of “your approach to life”. Yeah, I was a Philosophy major and I can’t imagine any of my professors doing something like this unless it was supposed to be some sort of joke about what the study of Philosophy _wasn’t_. ---
**Author:** ![panache45](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/panache45/32/64_2.png) [@panache45](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/panache45)\ **Post date:** [December 18, 2012, 11:39pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/31 "2012-12-18T23:39:27Z")
The jar itself, the glass it’s composed of, is mostly empty space, and no amount of “filler” will make it “full.” This should have been in a physics class, not philosophy. And what’s all that shit on the wall behind him? ---
**Author:** ![Xema](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9de053/32.png) [@Xema](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Xema)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 1:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/32 "2012-12-19T01:45:57Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > This should have been in a physics class, not philosophy. Judging from what’s on the blackboard, it was. ---
**Author:** ![Jormungandr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/a6a055/32.png) [@Jormungandr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Jormungandr)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 2:24am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/33 "2012-12-19T02:24:50Z")
I would have asked, why not simply buy another jar of mayo to make a variety of sandwiches to enjoy by yourself or with others? Then, use the jar for nail, screws (maybe build something for someone) or something (some people use them for drinks). Far better uses and a more clear way, at least for me, to understand the glurge here. ---
**Author:** ![Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/son_of_a_rich/32/5439_2.png) [@Son\_of\_a\_Rich](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Son_of_a_Rich)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 5:22am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/34 "2012-12-19T05:22:00Z")
> [@panache45](#): > > And what’s all that shit on the wall behind him? Yeah, is that a real chalkboard? 😕 ---
**Author:** ![shijinn](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/cc9497/32.png) [@shijinn](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/shijinn)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 5:50am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/35 "2012-12-19T05:50:03Z")
> [@cmyk](#): > > Another Doper: “Cite?” Doper: My post is my cite. ---
**Author:** ![Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/try2b_comprehensive/32/65_2.png) [@Try2B\_Comprehensive](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Try2B_Comprehensive)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 6:20am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/36 "2012-12-19T06:20:48Z")
Pretty sure non-duality is the end of philosophy. So, there is no difference between the golf balls and the pebbles, sand, beer and so on, or you either for that matter. You _are_ them, or more precisely, there are no golf balls and so on, there is only the Self. ---
**Author:** ![cmyk](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cmyk/32/3353_2.png) [@cmyk](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/cmyk)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 9:39am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/37 "2012-12-19T09:39:16Z")
A better ending would’ve been for the fake professor to pick up the jar, stare at it, in dramatic pause, then smash the whole mess against the floor — golfballs, rocks and sand-beer going everywhere. "AND THEN YOU _DIE!"_ ---
**Author:** ![drewtwo99](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/d07c76/32.png) [@drewtwo99](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/drewtwo99)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/38 "2012-12-19T10:00:05Z")
Gay guy (me): woah those dudes on the right are hot! Wait, what’s all this about mayonnaise and beer? Too many calories! ---
**Author:** ![Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/half_man_half_wit/32/21766_2.png) [@Half\_Man\_Half\_Wit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Half_Man_Half_Wit)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 10:15am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/39 "2012-12-19T10:15:29Z")
> [@The\_Hamster\_King](#): > > Computer Scientist: This is isomorphic to the knapsack problem. Therefore we can conclude that finding an optimal ordering of life priorities is NP-hard. > [@Colophon](#): > > The lesson I took from this is that you can never devote more than [100π/3√2](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Close-packing_of_equal_spheres) percent of your life to important things. 🙂 > [@cmyk](#): > > A better ending would’ve been for the fake professor to pick up the jar, stare at it, in dramatic pause, then smash the whole mess against the floor — golfballs, rocks and sand-beer going everywhere. > > "AND THEN YOU _DIE!"_ All of those improve the story far beyond the original. ---
**Author:** ![Count\_Blucher](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c5a1d2/32.png) [@Count\_Blucher](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Count_Blucher)\ **Post date:** [December 19, 2012, 3:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267/40 "2012-12-19T15:10:18Z")
> [@Rala](#): > > Someone did that in my church once. …and the very next week half the congregation was thinking about taking care of their golf balls first. Boon: I gotta work on my game. Otter: No, no, no, don’t think of it as work. The whole point is just to enjoy yourself. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267.md?page=1) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-professor-stood-before-his-philosophy-class-and-had-some-items-in-front-of-him/644267.md?page=3)