We could stamp out teacher-themed gifts if we didn’t have so many traitors in our ranks. My own aunt and mother wear that sort of stuff and keep teachery knick knacks in their classrooms.
LifeOnWry, all your gift bags sound like heaven. Last year, for Day of the Teacher, we received a big, ugly lobster claw-like key chain/compass/clock. This was done to us by our own administration though, I think parents would have had better sense.
The only remotely “themed” gift I ever gave was for my band teacher when I was in sixth grade. It was a Christmas decoration-it was brass and it was a line of musical notes and a clef with a plaid Christmasy bow attached. It was actually quite nice.
I dunno, the stuff is rather tacky, but I’m kinda flattered when a kid gives me anything. (BTW, I have a similar apple pendant. Mom bought it for me a month before my very first teaching job. I felt obligated to wear it during that first year, and I took a certain pride in it. Now it, and a teacher-themed vest my aunt made me, are lost in my closet…I feel too guilty to get rid of them.)
I teach in a low-income district. This stuff would be gold compared to what I usually get. My usual wares are cheap, usually weirdly positioned plastic-ish figurines (typically of angels, ballerinas, cherubs, and other too-cute-for-me types) from the 99 cent store. Coffee mugs are always popular, and other gifts have varied from 100 piece horse puzzle to a dog that plugs into your phone and barks when it rings, to various soaps and lotions, to glass unicorns, to a glass elephant family.
I smile, thank every child for every gift (no matter how great or how tacky), and give them all a hug. I keep them on display in my room for a week or two, then take them home where 85% of them are boxed up for the next garage sale. I always feel awful doing that, but as it is, I have 2 boxes of undisplayed, unsold, overall odd gifts stored away.
I don’t ever want to seem ungrateful. I love what I do and any token of appreciation from the kiddos, no matter how tasteless, tacky, broken, used, or sloppily wrapped, touches my heart. Actually, each kid does. 
I didn’t normally give the teachers presents because I was really shy as a kid and didn’t want to draw attention to myself positive or negative…but I remember making a present for one elementary school teacher that I really was fond of. I wove a headband like thingy for her all on my own. In hindsight I’m sure it was totally useless and tacky-looking, but it meant a lot ot me as a child to know she seemed to appreciate the sentiment at least.
These tacky ebay gifts are hilarious, don’t get me wrong. I know
it’s a pain to have to find a way to unload things you don’t really need…but try to remember the thought behind them. If you really find yourself with a lot of extra tacky stuff, a “No gifts because it might be seen as favoritism” policy seems very reasonable to me.
When I taught I got a few presents, but, as I Am A Guy, those figurines and decorations never were a part of the mix. I ended up with about 10 Deluxe Nail Clipper Sets (was that a *personal hygiene * crack?).
Off-topic, for my kids’ more outstanding teachers, I would write a thank you letter to the school board, copy to teacher. Maybe gave them a little leverage at salary review - now THERE’S a gift…
My mom teaches 5th grade in a private school and I teach high school students with emotional/behavioral disorders in a public school. Guess who gets all the presents? Yep, my mom. I never have to worry about ugly, dumb, or stereotypical gifts because my students really could care less! One year I got a certificate from a particularily volatile (but kind-hearted deep down) kid which stated: “I will not swear at you anymore this year”. That was the best gift I have EVER received!!!
wooooo hooooo! What a Christmas that year was! 
On a side note, I HATE all of those tacky teacher gifts. My grandparents gave me stuff like that when I started teaching. The stupidest is the “3 reasons for teaching” plaque. Yea, right. That’s when I have a temp job to supplement my generous (NOT) teaching salary.
Sorry to say, my SO is a teacher who has a bad reaction to chocolate. Even when students are told this, they give chocolate gifts that go un-enjoyed.
In the schools and preschools my kids have attended, one parent in each class/group has always taken it upon him/herself to collect money for a common teacher’s present. The suggested amount has always been pretty symbolic - the equivalent of a dollar or two. Sometimes this money has been pooled to make one big present for the school; other times each teacher gets something: a flowering plant, a bookstore gift certificate, something like that. I like this system.
My wife teaches third grade, and she read this thread with interest. Her request? No more candles, please. And if you really want to make a teacher happy, give a Barnes and Noble or Borders gift certificate. Or perhaps a gift card to a store that sells education supplies.
When our son finished second grade we got his teacher (who walks on water and can count on our two votes for sainthood, by the way) a substantial gift certificate to Bed, Bath & Beyond. She had done an outstanding job with him during a very difficult year, and she was getting married that summer, so we wanted to show our appreciation by helping her get things she’d need to set up house. She was very pleased by that.
Oddest gift my wife ever received? A two-foot high wooden chicken statue. We like it now, and it’s displayed on our piano, but this is the gift with which she learned never to open the presents in front of the children.