# A question about cleavage. **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 10, 2002, 12:48pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750 "2002-12-10T12:48:50Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 3
**Author:** ![Meatros](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/b4bc9f/32.png) [@Meatros](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Meatros)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 7:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/41 "2002-12-10T19:50:41Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by MissTake \* > \*\*I used to work in a very male dominated business (95% of our customers were men). Men often spoke to my boobs, which annoyed me to no end. > > I would angle down to catch their eyes then stand back up, but that didn’t always work. > > So I started talking to their crotches. > > One guy asked me to look him in the face when I was talking to him. I asked for the same consideration. Hunh? What did I do? > > (sigh) \*\* If you did that to me, I’d give you something to look at…😃 ---
**Author:** ![Binarydrone](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/b/3da27b/32.png) [@Binarydrone](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Binarydrone)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 7:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/42 "2002-12-10T19:56:32Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > **… > As for the attractiveness of the fellow in question, it’s definitely very creepy when a weasely middle aged guy with kids and a hairpiece is checking you out. …** And see this, more than anything, is at the heart of the matter for me. In my unguarded moments, assuming (as I suspect) that this is a pretty common sentiment, I can start to get kind of irritated about this. See, this is the thing. If folks are going around all hanging out of their clothing, but only the folks that they think of as attractive are supposed to look, this is kind of crappy. How am I supposed to know if I fall in to the “sexually relevant enough for it to be ok for me to peek at boobies” category or the “creepy guy that I don’t want looking at me” category? Now, in my case, this question is obviously rhetorical as I am a Virile Specimen of True Manhood™ but I can not help but feel a little bad for my brothers on whom God did not so smile 😉 ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:03pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/43 "2002-12-10T20:03:15Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* > \*\*And see this, more than anything, is at the heart of the matter for me. In my unguarded moments, assuming (as I suspect) that this is a pretty common sentiment, I can start to get kind of irritated about this. > > See, this is the thing. If folks are going around all hanging out of their clothing, but only the folks that they think of as attractive are supposed to look, this is kind of crappy. How am I supposed to know if I fall in to the “sexually relevant enough for it to be ok for me to peek at boobies” category or the “creepy guy that I don’t want looking at me” category? > > Now, in my case, this question is obviously rhetorical as I am a Virile Specimen of True Manhood™ but I can not help but feel a little bad for my brothers on whom God did not so smile > 😉 \*\* Well, I said it was creepy. I didn’t say I’d be offended though. I don’t wear anything that could even remotely be called provocative, and I certainly don’t have much that could actually ‘hang out’ of my clothing. As such, I don’t usually expect to get a whole lot of staring, but when I do I take it as a compliment. ---
**Author:** ![CalMeacham](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/calmeacham/32/35_2.png) [@CalMeacham](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/CalMeacham)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 8:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/44 "2002-12-10T20:40:13Z")
Just FYI: One of the Cable channels – A&E or History – has The History of Cleavage on TV tobight. Sounds pretty contrived, but I can’t help but watch. After all, those who can’t remember history are condemned to repeat it. I intend to forget a _lot_. ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/45 "2002-12-10T21:15:26Z")
\ OK, I’m a middle-aged guy with kids. But I don’t think I’m weasely, and I do not and never will have a hairpiece. So, am I too creepy for you? 😉 My wife always ‘marks’ me checking out other women. Fortunately, she is amused rather than annoyed-she knows with whom I’m going home. 🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Tygr](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/t/df788c/32.png) [@Tygr](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tygr)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:17pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/46 "2002-12-10T21:17:24Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by AHunter3 \* > **…wearing only a skin-tight Olympics-style athletic bodysuit thingie. She caught me staring at her _crotch_ which was tilting gently this way and that, this way and that, as she walked towards me.** Hey, now. Nothing to be ashamed of there. Authentic camel-toe sightings are rare in this part of the world. :D[sup]–Inverse cleavage! Huzzah![/sup] > [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by Dread Pirate Jimbo, quoting Larry Miller \* > **"Women are the most powerful magnets in the world… and men are all cheap metal."** And I’ll add a rough paraphrasing of the rest of this thought: > [@](#): > > “Women say, ‘oh, we have sexual thoughts too.’ No. Not like men. Ladies, you have no idea. It’s the difference between shooting a bullet and throwing it. Ladies, if you knew, even just for a second, what men were really thinking when we looked at you, you would _never_ stop slapping us.” Just remember to use you powers wisely, o ye of the generous endowments.🙂 ---
**Author:** ![Alereon](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/a/ecd19e/32.png) [@Alereon](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Alereon)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/47 "2002-12-10T21:20:39Z")
Yeah, I would HATE to be caught staring. A little glance now and again, a peek here and there, but I do try to avoid being obvious. That’s just rude. Either he’s a jerk, or you’ve got a godlike pair on you:D Or both? ---
**Author:** ![XJETGIRLX](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/x/9fc29f/32.png) [@XJETGIRLX](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/XJETGIRLX)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:21pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/48 "2002-12-10T21:21:06Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SCSimmons \* > \*\* > My wife always ‘marks’ me checking out other women. Fortunately, she is amused rather than annoyed-she knows with whom I’m going home. 🙂 \*\* I always tell hubby, I don’t care where he works up his appetite, as long as he eats at home 😉 ---
**Author:** ![AskNott](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/asknott/32/5790_2.png) [@AskNott](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/AskNott)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/49 "2002-12-10T21:32:28Z")
Last night I checked out the T-shirts available on [OpalCat.com](http://OpalCat.com) . There was one that said, “If you can read this, you must be staring at my boobs.” Entrapment, says I. –Nott, the big galoot ---
**Author:** ![SCSimmons](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e495f1/32.png) [@SCSimmons](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/SCSimmons)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/50 "2002-12-10T21:38:02Z")
JETGIRL: 😃 AskNott: At the laundromat a few months back, I encountered a young lady wearing a very tight t-shirt bearing the legend, “Do you think that staring at my chest will make me like you?” I told her I liked her shirt. She looked down, then said thanks. Then I said that I had no idea what it said, but I still really liked it. She didn’t talk to me anymore after that. 😃 ---
**Author:** ![Zebra](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/z/c0e974/32.png) [@Zebra](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Zebra)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 9:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/51 "2002-12-10T21:38:17Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by XJETGIRLX \* > \*\*As long as a guy is not being a complete perv about it \*\* I swear I was trying to get that roll of Lifesavers out of my pocket! ---
**Author:** ![dougs](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/7cd45c/32.png) [@dougs](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dougs)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/52 "2002-12-10T22:04:37Z")
I wrote the following last June … > **[One of the singers in the band at church has very efficient lungs](https://dougs.livejournal.com/776.html?delayedid=)** > > I just came back from Church. I haven't been for ages -- since the weekend before DFC. (There was DFC, another weekend away, then China, then Plokta.con) Now one of the girls at Church has changed into her summer plumage -- a thinner blouse with a... ---
**Author:** ![Cervaise](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/cervaise/32/16693_2.png) [@Cervaise](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Cervaise)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 10:56pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/53 "2002-12-10T22:56:58Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by SCSimmons \* > **One time, just for a change, as she was walking through the call center, I got the idea to focus my attention elsewhere than on her. May be the funniest thing I’d ever seen. There were a fair number of males about, talking on phones, talking to each other, going somewhere. And as she passed through the area, every single head was turning to follow her progress. It looked like a bunch of spectators at a tennis match.** I do this too. It’s an effective means of Acknowleding The Hottie[sup]TM[/sup] without joining the barbarians. And yes, it’s quite entertaining. Guys on city sidewalks will literally endanger their lives, spinning around and ignoring the hazards of traffic, in order to get a better look at a tight-clad vixen who’s just passed them. ---
**Author:** ![Monstre](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/e274bd/32.png) [@Monstre](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Monstre)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 11:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/54 "2002-12-10T23:38:29Z")
> [@](#): > > they gave me a name tag that I have to wear. I noticed when I wear it that women stare at my chest in order to read it. Well, perhaps this is the solution. If women would just wear name tags, there would always be an “out” in those awkward moments when the gaze has lingered a bit too long. The guy can simply say he was looking at her name tag, and they can both avoid embarrassment. Of course, if he cannot address her by name in his next sentence, then he gets in trouble – it’s only fair… 😉 ---
**Author:** ![wolfman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/a8b319/32.png) [@wolfman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wolfman)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 11:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/55 "2002-12-10T23:40:45Z")
since no one else has yet, at least that I noticed, Carmen Electra: My eyes are up here! Homer: I’ve made my choice. ---
**Author:** ![wireless](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/w/f14d63/32.png) [@wireless](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/wireless)\ **Post date:** [December 10, 2002, 11:45pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/56 "2002-12-10T23:45:50Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by martyham \* > \*\*I hear that they’ve developed a new xray machine for use by airport screeners that can “see” right through clothing. To me, that would be the ultimate invasion of privacy; to have a bunch of transportation security geeks snickering at a television screen as people (women and men) walked through. \*\* I don’t know if that’s true or not, but in a previous job, I used to occasionally work on a military flightline and discovered much later and much to my chagrin that the guys working in the cockpits used to turn on the IR (infrared) cameras _and roll the tape!_ when I was walking by. YES, this felt like an invasion of privacy. Not to mention a misuse of resources. Wonder where those tapes are now… ---
**Author:** ![nashiitashii](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/n/7c8e57/32.png) [@nashiitashii](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/nashiitashii)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:18am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/57 "2002-12-11T00:18:07Z")
I’ve pretty much gotten over the fact that guys stare at my chest to the point where I really don’t notice it anymore. I’ve got a fairly large chest [38D] and it’s not easy to “disguise” in any form of clothing. Part of the reason I got over the “cleavage stare” is because I’ve worked a renaissance festival for a couple of years, and well, they get hoisted up for all to gawk at during season when I work there. I also had the same problem when I was doing plays in high school: they always managed to find the costumes that’d show off my assets the most. The girls would be offended or shocked and the guys would just ogle when they could get away with it. The one thing that always creeped me out a bit was when I wore this one shirt I have that has a big long paragraph of word definitions on it at the chest area, and absolutely everyone would read it, especially women. It was funny to watch some of them move their mouths as they read what my shirt said. Luckily, I was nice enough to distract them with the an explanation before they took too long. Now, I wouldn’t mind if some women stared at my chest… especially a few of the bisexual/lesbian girls on campus. I don’t think I’ve ever been caught staring at a woman’s chest, but then again, no one usually makes a comment when it’s a female looking. 😉 _Wireless_, that’s uncalled for. Then again, if they’re that immature, then I guess they think it’s normal to waste money in order to ogle more. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 12:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/58 "2002-12-11T00:46:17Z")
I’m in the “If you don’t want them to look, don’t have it out” group, although I don’t think staring is appropriate. ---
**Author:** ![plain\_jane](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/p/a9a28c/32.png) [@plain\_jane](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/plain_jane)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 2:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/59 "2002-12-11T02:51:11Z")
[QUOTE] \*Originally posted by Binarydrone \* \*\*[li]Is there a difference in how offended you feel catching a male staring at your breasts based of the relative attractiveness of the fellow?[/li][li]When you wear clothing that exposes large parts of your secondary sex characteristics, what is the appropriate male reaction? \*\*[/li][/QUOTE] It doesn’t matter to me if it’s someone I’m interested in, I don’t want their eyes lingering on my chest or coming back to it repeatedly. Or my ass, etc. It makes me feel like a cheap piece of meat. Now, if it’s my partner… they are welcome to ogle me day and night. Because if I’m with a relationship with someone, I know it isn’t just a cheap thrill for them and I’m not just a faceless pair of tits. I don’t wear revealing clothing so I can’t really answer the second question. I know people look (it’s just not men, there are women who are attracted to other women too) but staring is rude and conveys a complete lack of respect. ---
**Author:** ![11811](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/1/9d8465/32.png) [@11811](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/11811)\ **Post date:** [December 11, 2002, 3:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750/60 "2002-12-11T03:00:10Z")
In the words of G. Love: I might look a sneak but I won’t steal a peek. I have no idea if that’s actually relevant. I hate being caught checking out any part of a woman if I feel it’s unwelcome. I don’t feel it’s unnatural to look, but I know it can be make women uncomfortable so I try to be subtle. [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750.md?page=2) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-cleavage/141750.md?page=4)