# A question about oral sex **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [May 13, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829 "2002-05-13T16:20:58Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 13\ **Page:** 1
**Author:** ![El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/e/898d66/32.png) [@El\_Elvis\_Rojo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/El_Elvis_Rojo)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 4:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/1 "2002-05-13T16:20:58Z")
Okay, it’s a pretty typical question, but I’m kinda curious about something else in relation to it. 1. Do you consider oral sex to be sex? Now most people have pretty come to a decision on this. Personally, I don’t. I’m still a virgin, but I LOVE to go down on the ladies. Although I do recognize it is a very personal and intimate act, I still view it more as foreplay, and although I have been willing to give it up to a few girls, I’d perform oral on a lot more women than I’d consider having sex with. I just view it differently, that’s all. Now, here’s the question that never seems to come up in conversations on this topic, but it’s something that popped into my head. If you do consider oral sex sex: 2. Do you consider hand jobs/fingering sex? If you feel oral is sex, why not these? Everyone seems adamant about oral, but no one ever really mentions mutual masterbation. If Clinton just got a hand job from Monica, do you think it would have been that big a deal? Both involve genital contact, so why’s one considered bigger than the other? 3. Do you prefer oral sex to straight vaginal sex? Personally, I don’t have any input here, but I know a lot of women who claim they can’t get off to vaginal sex, but when it comes to one of the other, some prefer oral, and some go vaginal. And I know some guys who would much rather get head than jackhammer away on a woman, so I’m just curious to what your takes our. ---
**Author:** ![Chekmate](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/46a35a/32.png) [@Chekmate](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chekmate)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 4:50pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/2 "2002-05-13T16:50:18Z")
I am speaking as a gfuy, so I can’t comment on what the women want… I enjoy giving Oral, but it doesn’t do much for my GF. I enjoy getting oral, because I don’t have to do anything except offer encouragment I like sex sex better then oral sex becuase, even though I don’t enjoy it as much physically, we are both getting off at the same time. Personally, I enjoy giving pleasure nearly as much as getting it. I consider handjobs/fingering seperate from cunnilingus/fellatio seperate from intercourse. This is probably because each of them was like a seperate “step.” I got hand for a while, then head, then sex. I didn’t experience them all in the same night, so they are seperate acts. That’s the way I see it any.way ---
**Author:** ![dragongirl](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/d/b38774/32.png) [@dragongirl](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/dragongirl)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 5:58pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/3 "2002-05-13T17:58:55Z")
\*\*1) Do you consider oral sex to be sex? \*\* Yes \*\*Do you consider hand jobs/fingering sex? \*\* Yes \*\*3) Do you prefer oral sex to straight vaginal sex? \*\* It depends on the mood of things. I guess I’m a prude, in a way. Though I was not a virgin when I got married, I really felt a lot of aspects to sex were too intimate for anything but marriage. ---
**Author:** ![Missy2U](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/3bc359/32.png) [@Missy2U](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Missy2U)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 6:15pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/4 "2002-05-13T18:15:22Z")
**dragongirl** , you aren’t a prude in my opinion. I agree. 100%. ---
**Author:** ![clayton\_e](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/c/c57346/32.png) [@clayton\_e](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/clayton_e)\ **Post date:** [May 13, 2002, 10:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/5 "2002-05-13T22:40:35Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El Elvis Rojo \* > \*\* so why’s one considered bigger than the other? > \*\* Because mine is. ---
**Author:** ![Sublight](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/439d5e/32.png) [@Sublight](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Sublight)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 5:45am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/6 "2002-05-14T05:45:50Z")
1 & 2: It depends. If I were trying to define losing my virginity, or whether or not a woman and I had “gone all the way”, then oral/digital sex, while significant and a whole lot of fun, don’t count. OTOH, if I were defining cheating on a spouse, then yes, I would include these as sex. 3: sometimes. ---
**Author:** ![Tranquilis](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/tranquilis/32/3639_2.png) [@Tranquilis](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Tranquilis)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/7 "2002-05-14T16:57:49Z")
IMO: If someone else is touching me (by consent) with the intent of giving me an orgasm, it’s sex. So: 1) & 2): Yes. 1. Often yes (giving or recieving), but it’s really mood dependant. ---
**Author:** ![kniz](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/c37758/32.png) [@kniz](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kniz)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 7:28pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/8 "2002-05-14T19:28:42Z")
Saying 1 & 2 aren’t sex is a bunch of jive talk, which is what Clinton was indulging in when he claimed he and Monica hadn’t had sex. Next answer comes from a list of sex rules: 1. Go up and you’ll find heaven. Go down and you’ll find salvation. 😉 ---
**Author:** ![YWalker](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/y/6f9a4e/32.png) [@YWalker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/YWalker)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 8:44pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/9 "2002-05-14T20:44:57Z")
No, I don’t consider 1 or 2 to be sex. I define sex as sexual intercourse. It’s the act that, if both partners are fertile, and the timing is right, can result in reproduction. ( This isn’t to say that infertile people therefore can’t have sex; I’m just saying that that particular act defines “sex” for me.) Oral sex or anal sex are separate acts. But, as **sublight** said, if your question is to define whether or not someone is cheating on a spouse by engaging in these, then the answer to that is yes. ---
**Author:** ![madonnaman](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/d6d6ee/32.png) [@madonnaman](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/madonnaman)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 8:59pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/10 "2002-05-14T20:59:05Z")
1. Yes. It’s called oral SEX, not oral foreplay. 😃 2. Yes, though I bet I’m of a minority opinion. I feel that any direct genital stimulation performed on or received from another person counts as sex, regardless of which orifice or appendage is causing the stimulation. 3. Since I’m a gay man, yes. ---
**Author:** ![ruadh](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/r/d2c977/32.png) [@ruadh](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/ruadh)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 9:04pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/11 "2002-05-14T21:04:59Z")
1. Sort of. 2. Not really. 3. Hell no. ---
**Author:** ![Iguana\_Boy](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/i/ed655f/32.png) [@Iguana\_Boy](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Iguana_Boy)\ **Post date:** [May 14, 2002, 9:42pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/12 "2002-05-14T21:42:49Z")
1. No 2. No 3. Sometimes (giving and receiving) I don’t define oral or digital stimulation as being sex, as I use the word “sex” to mean “sexual intercourse.” I’m with Clinton on that one. However, in terms of cheating on a partner, then I would consider it cheating, and would not try to use fancy wordplay to avoid difficult questions (even though I am a lawyer). Therefore, I’m not with Clinton on **that** one! I remember seeing a US comic here in the UK, who summed up the Clinton/Lewinsky scandal as follows - “Clinton didn’t lie to Congress. Clinton didn’t lie to the American people. Clinton lied to his wife. Everyone else just got in the way.” ---
**Author:** ![leechbabe](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/l/7cd45c/32.png) [@leechbabe](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/leechbabe)\ **Post date:** [May 15, 2002, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-oral-sex/108829/13 "2002-05-15T03:46:21Z")
> [@](#): > > \*Originally posted by El Elvis Rojo \* > \*\* 1) Do you consider oral sex to be sex? > Now most people have pretty come to a decision on this. Personally, I don’t. I’m still a virgin, but I LOVE to go down on the ladies. Although I do recognize it is a very personal and intimate act, I still view it more as foreplay, and although I have been willing to give it up to a few girls, I’d perform oral on a lot more women than I’d consider having sex with. I just view it differently, that’s all. Now, here’s the question that never seems to come up in conversations on this topic, but it’s something that popped into my head. If you do consider oral sex sex: > contact, so why’s one considered bigger than the other? > \*\* I have an amusing book c/- my mum that discusses this to some extent. Whilst the author appears to be serious the whole topic was v. funny. You can have a look at some of the authors comments on “The Genital Kiss” in [this](http://boards.straightdope.com/sdmb/showthread.php?s=&threadid=114726) MPSIMS thread. Basically as long as you avoid abomination (the authors term for climax during oral sex) its only foreplay. Now I have to go sit in a corner and giggle at the pictures again 😃