# A question about using a restroom at a restaurant **URL:** \ **Category:** In My Humble Opinion\ **Created:** [December 31, 2019, 5:08pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675 "2019-12-31T17:08:52Z")\ **Posts on this page:** 20\ **Page:** 5
**Author:** ![Chronos](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/chronos/32/134_2.png) [@Chronos](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Chronos)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2020, 3:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/81 "2020-01-05T03:46:42Z")
Some of them have strong enough springs on the doors that you can’t just leave the door open (unless, maybe, you’re just washing your hands and the sink is close enough to the door that you can stick a foot in). Anyway, I always knock first, and always lock the door when I’m inside, because why wouldn’t you? ---
**Author:** ![BigT](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/bigt/32/12044_2.png) [@BigT](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/BigT)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2020, 5:51am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/82 "2020-01-05T05:51:15Z")
It’s one of the unwritten rules–a social agreement–that we are not supposed to use the “other” restroom. The only way I’m going to violate that rule is if the alternative is worse. And that’s only the case if I absolutely must go ASAP. Sure, I could choose to fight that particular idea, making it socially acceptable to use the other single occupancy restroom when mine is full. But it’s not a huge battle that I care about. I suspect that the trend is that single occupancy restrooms become unisex, so my fight would ultimately wind up entirely pointless anyways. ---
**Author:** ![Telemark](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/telemark/32/372_2.png) [@Telemark](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Telemark)\ **Post date:** [January 5, 2020, 12:10pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/83 "2020-01-05T12:10:20Z")
> [@BigT](#): > > It’s one of the unwritten rules–a social agreement–that we are not supposed to use the “other” restroom. A lot of us are saying that the social agreement doesn’t really exist, or is so weak to be not universally observed. ---
**Author:** ![Ashtura](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/ashtura/32/2963_2.png) [@Ashtura](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Ashtura)\ **Post date:** [January 6, 2020, 8:32pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/84 "2020-01-06T20:32:08Z")
Since we’re randomly talking about restroom experiences now, can I say that taking a deuce in the observation deck bathroom of the Empire State Building is very satisfying? ---
**Author:** ![Kiwi\_Fruit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kiwi_fruit/32/12_2.png) [@Kiwi\_Fruit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Kiwi_Fruit)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2020, 2:01am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/85 "2020-01-07T02:01:39Z")
Where I work, we have two unisex toilets, normally. But there was one time when we had some managerial types visiting that the office administrator decided to label one “women” and the other “men”. I never did find out why they were special snowflakes, but the loos reverted back to unisex as soon as the visitors were gone. ---
**Author:** ![suranyi](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/e36b37/32.png) [@suranyi](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/suranyi)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2020, 4:52am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/86 "2020-01-07T04:52:25Z")
> [@Seanette](#): > > I’m female and a California resident. Seems discriminatory to me for one sex to have designated restrooms and the other not to. In this situation, it would be much better for both sides to go unisex. > > I don’t have qualms about using the handicapped stall if that’s the only one open, but I don’t dawdle in there. Seems rude to take up that spot longer than necessary to quickly conclude my business. California law now requires all single use bathrooms to be gender neutral. As usual it takes some time for all businesses to comply. Cite: [https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/state-and-local-updates/pages/california-equal-restroom-access-act.aspx](https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/state-and-local-updates/pages/california-equal-restroom-access-act.aspx) ---
**Author:** ![JpnDude](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/j/838e76/32.png) [@JpnDude](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/JpnDude)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2020, 8:00am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/87 "2020-01-07T08:00:08Z")
In Japan, some shops/restaurants/train stations have “Anybody can use” restrooms in addition to the separate woman and man facilities. Also, some places have a “women only” room and a “men or women room”. ---
**Author:** ![Scoobysnax](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/s/c4cdca/32.png) [@Scoobysnax](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Scoobysnax)\ **Post date:** [January 7, 2020, 8:33pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/88 "2020-01-07T20:33:22Z")
> [@suranyi](#): > > California law now requires all single use bathrooms to be gender neutral. As usual it takes some time for all businesses to comply. > > Cite: [https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/state-and-local-updates/pages/california-equal-restroom-access-act.aspx](https://www.shrm.org/resourcesandtools/legal-and-compliance/state-and-local-updates/pages/california-equal-restroom-access-act.aspx) The places where I have seen one unisex and one women’s bathrooms previously had one men’s and one women’s. From talking to my wife, the women’s still have at least two stalls so they would not qualify as single use bathrooms. In at least one of the restaurants the unisex bathroom has a urinal and a toilet but the divider has been removed. ---
**Author:** ![Die\_Capacitrix](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/die_capacitrix/32/9_2.png) [@Die\_Capacitrix](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Die_Capacitrix)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2020, 11:46am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/89 "2020-01-08T11:46:20Z")
Many years ago in the wilds of NJ, the company decided to do a big renovation of the offices, including the bathrooms. The request was made to include a shower, for those who might want to ride their bicycles to work, or go running at lunchtime. The request was refused because there wasn’t enough space to create a shower for women and another one for men. It wasn’t possible to have just one shower for both, even though it would be a lockable room and certainly wasn’t meant for sharing. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2020, 12:40pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/90 "2020-01-08T12:40:18Z")
> [@Die\_Capacitrix](#): > > Sometimes I think Switzerland is going backwards. Only the german-speaking parts 😃 ---
**Author:** ![MandaJo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/m/ac91a4/32.png) [@MandaJo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/MandaJo)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2020, 2:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/91 "2020-01-08T14:14:23Z")
I used the “male” single seat restroom at a fast-food restaurant on a recent roadtrip. I was thinking about this thread at the time. Part of my logic was that the reason I needed to use the male restroom is that some woman had gone into the woman’s restroom and had been in their for an unusually long time–not only was I impatient and needed to get back on the road, but it occurred to me that if I were suffering from any of the reasons I might need to use a restroom for significantly longer than average, the last thing I would want to see as I came out was another woman who was obviously waiting and noticing my long occupation. It was politer, really, to leave her with her privacy. ---
**Author:** ![Orville\_mogul](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/aeb1de/32.png) [@Orville\_mogul](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Orville_mogul)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2020, 3:20pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/92 "2020-01-08T15:20:18Z")
> [@MandaJo](#): > > but it occurred to me that if I were suffering from any of the reasons I might need to use a restroom for significantly longer than average, the last thing I would want to see as I came out was another woman who was obviously waiting and noticing my long occupation. It was politer, really, to leave her with her privacy. Funny, I would think exactly the same way. That, and I’m not sure I would want to enjoy the aftereffects of that woman’s prolonged tribulations… ---
**Author:** ![overlyverbose](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/o/9dc877/32.png) [@overlyverbose](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/overlyverbose)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2020, 5:37pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/93 "2020-01-08T17:37:11Z")
> [@puzzlegal](#): > > I change in the handicapped stall at work every week. It’s larger, and easier to change in. > > No one on the floor needs that stall, and few people are around by the time I use it, and \*\*there are other handicapped stalls on every other floor. Why not? > \*\* > Coincidentally, u was at the supermarket yesterday and needed to use a restroom. I intervened that the women’s room was occupied, so i prepared to wait. A nearby employee banned on the door of the men’s room, and learned it was occupied, too. > > A little later, a guy walked out of the single-use lady’s room. He held the door for me, I said “thanks”, and I used it. Maybe we’ll get unisex signs soon. Bolding mine. I’m completely with you with the exception of this one comment. Now, I expect that this would be an issue in very, very limited circumstances, and I’m assuming that is is NOT what you mean, but if I happened to be first in line in the bathroom with someone clearly needed that stall more than I did behind me, or I was changing in the stall and someone who required the handicapped stall asked me to hurry up so they could use it, I’d the last person to turn around and say, “What? There’s a stall on every other floor - you should just go find another one.” The point being, that if you’re disabled or have some other challenge, chances are you might not be able to make it to a different floor as easily as I could. But like I said, I’m guessing that’s not what you meant. For the OP, the “right” answer in this case, is to do whatever makes you most comfortable. If you feel weird using the women’s toilet, wait. If you don’t care or really really have to pee, use it. You’re not putting anyone else out, so it really doesn’t matter. ---
**Author:** ![kayaker](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/kayaker/32/441_2.png) [@kayaker](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kayaker)\ **Post date:** [January 8, 2020, 5:49pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/94 "2020-01-08T17:49:02Z")
You are required to wash your hands _only_ if you’re an employee. ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2020, 4:23am UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/95 "2020-01-09T04:23:39Z")
> [@overlyverbose](#): > > Bolding mine. I’m completely with you with the exception of this one comment. Now, I expect that this would be an issue in very, very limited circumstances, and I’m assuming that is is NOT what you mean, but if I happened to be first in line in the bathroom with someone clearly needed that stall more than I did behind me, or I was changing in the stall and someone who required the handicapped stall asked me to hurry up so they could use it, I’d the last person to turn around and say, “What? There’s a stall on every other floor - you should just go find another one.” The point being, that if you’re disabled or have some other challenge, chances are you might not be able to make it to a different floor as easily as I could. But like I said, I’m guessing that’s not what you meant. > > For the OP, the “right” answer in this case, is to do whatever makes you most comfortable. If you feel weird using the women’s toilet, wait. If you don’t care or really really have to pee, use it. You’re not putting anyone else out, so it really doesn’t matter. No, of course that’s not what I meant. I just meant that if some handicapped person happened to be in the building that day, odds are they’d be on a different floor, and wouldn’t have to use that restroom anyway. I’ve NEVER seen a line in that particular bathroom. But of COURSE someone who claims to need the handicapped stall (whether or not it’s visually obvious that they need it) should get to cut to the front of the line and get first dibs on that stall in a situation where there’s a line. And even though I’ve never seen someone who needed the handicapped stall on my floor, I don’t generally use it for ordinary restroom needs, as the other stalls are just fine for my needs there. But the handicapped stall is a lot nicer as a changing room. ---
**Author:** ![Hi\_Medlo](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/h/a183cd/32.png) [@Hi\_Medlo](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/Hi_Medlo)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2020, 6:38pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/96 "2020-01-09T18:38:47Z")
I’m completely onboard with single-person restrooms being unisex, but… My model airplane club has a porta-jon at our flying field. When we host a competitive event we pay to have another unit brought in and label it “Ladies Only”, and the ladies all seem to appreciate it. Seems like a lot of the world is not quite so matter of fact about bodily functions. ---
**Author:** ![kitap](https://avatars.discourse-cdn.com/v4/letter/k/b9e5f3/32.png) [@kitap](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/kitap)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2020, 7:14pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/97 "2020-01-09T19:14:40Z")
When we were on a Caravan tour of Guatemala about 12 years ago we stopped at some convenience store to use the bathroom - single room stalls. One men’s, one women’s. After the men were done we women just split into two lines and used both. ---
**Author:** ![begbert2](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/begbert2/32/3357_2.png) [@begbert2](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/begbert2)\ **Post date:** [January 9, 2020, 10:02pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/98 "2020-01-09T22:02:54Z")
As a man I would never use a women’s restroom, for much the same reason I wouldn’t spontaneously go wandering into rooms marked “employees only” - the restaurant is not my house and gets to make its own rules about where I can and can’t go. If a business wants to mark one of their bathrooms as being for use by people other than me, that’s their right. This is entirely consistent with my casual willingness (and preference!) for using handicapped stalls - I’ve never seen one that was _marked_ as a handicapped stall. They’re just bigger, and as a big dude the larger stalls seem made for me. (To date I’ve never seen a physically handicapped person in or near a bathroom - if I did, I would squeeze into one of the small stalls rather than risk inconveniencing them.) ---
**Author:** ![zweisamkeit](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/zweisamkeit/32/4360_2.png) [@zweisamkeit](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/zweisamkeit)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2020, 4:29pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/99 "2020-01-10T16:29:13Z")
> [@Hi\_Medlo](#): > > I’m completely onboard with single-person restrooms being unisex, but… > My model airplane club has a porta-jon at our flying field. When we host a competitive event we pay to have another unit brought in and label it “Ladies Only”, and the ladies all seem to appreciate it. > Seems like a lot of the world is not quite so matter of fact about bodily functions. Porta-johns are a toootally different thing, and kudos to your club for doing that! Obviously no one wants to have to touch more of a porta-john than is absolutely necessary. But it really, reeeaaaaally sucks to have to pee in one as a chick, since you have to sit down (they’re too high for my short self to hover (I never do that on a regular toilet, but I’d consider making an exception for porta-johns). I guess you could TRY to squat, but I can just imagine losing your balance and falling…). ---
**Author:** ![puzzlegal](https://sea3.discourse-cdn.com/straightdope/user_avatar/boards.straightdope.com/puzzlegal/32/3827_2.png) [@puzzlegal](https://boards.straightdope.com/u/puzzlegal)\ **Post date:** [January 10, 2020, 4:57pm UTC](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675/100 "2020-01-10T16:57:59Z")
The good portajohns have a urinal on the side, so guys don’t have to touch anything to avoid splattering on the seat… [Previous page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675.md?page=4) [Next page](https://boards.straightdope.com/t/a-question-about-using-a-restroom-at-a-restaurant/845675.md?page=6)