Well, this is kind of a long story, so pack a lunch.
HOW DID I BECOME AN ATHEIST?
Slowly. My non-belief evolved over time - close to four years. It wasn’t sudden at all.
It seems that an overwhelming number of Atheists either come from families who were religious, or at the very least, believers, and were religious as youth - as I was - and I find that, more often than not, many Atheists simply have a better understanding of the concept of religion and scripture than most of the devoutly religious for one simple reason: they don’t have their conclusions clouded by belief; they look for logic in the events of the bible. This “clinical” approach often bares facts, inconsistencies, and anachronisms that many religious people either overlook or simply dismiss as “god’s will”.
For me, the path of disbelief began at age 13 when I questioned the pastor of my church after reading the bible in its entirety for the first time. When I was finished, I was horrified, angry, and feeling like I had been lied to. The pastor was a very moral man, and to say he lied to me does him a disservice. But, it is clear he did withhold information in teaching only select parts of the bible.
That Sunday, I went to church as usual. But, there was nothing usual about that warm July day.
“God loves all his children?” I asked the pastor.
“Yes, of course he does!” came the reply.
“Well, if god loved his children, why did he do the things that the bible says he did to them. You know… torturing people, killing the first born male child, demanding human sacrifices, and even drowning nearly every person and nearly every animal on the planet?!”
“To teach us a lesson.”
“And that would be…?”
“To love him and accept his divine wisdom, of course!”
That was the last time I went to church. But, over the course of the next few years, the pangs of guilt hadn’t subsided. It was a confusing time. But, the atrocities committed by this “loving” god in the bible was something I couldn’t forget.
Researching the book again with a critical eye confirmed my suspicion: it was the most offensive, vile, reprehensible book I’ve ever read.
And finally, my pangs of guilt ended. I had truly seen the light.
I don’t hate the poor pastor, but I pity him. His by-the-textbook, seminary-approved answer to a simple question was almost undoubtedly borne of blind faith and ignorance, but I suppose you can say it helped me understand, albeit in a manner he didn’t intend.
I didn’t look for an alternate belief system and I don’t want one. I believe in myself first and foremost and try to look for the good in others. My parents taught me right from wrong, and I believe that morals begin in the home, not in religion.
And you’ll surely notice that religious instiutions are filled with some very immoral characters. And the history of religion - Christianity, Judaism, and Islam in particular - is hardly pristine, as some of its most famous and most devout practicioners claim.
If I were to look for an alternative, it would probably be Buddha since he stressed one point to his students: “do not deify me”. Siddhartha Gautama Buddha was not a god; he was a teacher. I don’t claim any great knowledge of the man, but that is one that I do know.